A bit late

March has been rather uneventful for me. Or perhaps some of them slipped my mind. The usual bullshit is everywhere and you can find flowers hidden away occasionally. At the very least I passed a certification exam for Sitecore. Unless you are a very knowledgeable programmer, you won't know what the hell is that. Prior to this, I never heard of it either. One of the minor perks of the job but it comes with a twist. Well, other than that, the market value seems to be so-so at best. But you never know about things like this. Maybe it will come in handy very soon.

Now without further ado, I present to you my current body

I guess after more than a year of work and some obvious progress in the early stages, I have come to the dreaded plateau. I suspect nothing much will change in the next 2 months. At least nothing major in an obvious way. I am progressing somewhat in my strength but the muscles are already there now, just a matter of growing them. If I manage to eat 150g of protein a day, assuming I burn half of it, I only stack on 75g of protein on a 70-71kg body. 10 days would mean 750g. But that is only true if I manage 150g and I only burn half of it. Problem is, I have been taking breast meat almost every weekday for the past month and my weight barely increased. Maybe I should start packing carbohydrates as well. However, with this monthly report thing, I cannot really slack much.

Today is 1st April, where pranks are played everywhere. People do not usually prank me. I guess it is due to my serious nature and explosive temper. Add in a quirky personality and you have a recipe for disaster. I do remember a particularly painful prank. It was a long time ago when I still smile everyday. Okay, that was rather gloomy. Anyway, I used to play a game in cybercafes with friends where we more or less decimate our challengers. Okay, that was rather exaggerated. One of them decides to pretend to be another person online who thinks I am a great player and I thought things are great. Until the truth landed and I was humiliated. To keep things short, it was painful but he was a friend.

I cannot really blame it on him. How can you blame a tiger for eating meat? It is in their nature. It defines them. Should I blame myself then? But it is not my fault. Perhaps I was gullible. Maybe I just wanted more friends. That is another tidbit about myself and perhaps provide some insight as to why I am the bitter person that I am now. I have 'friends' like this. I never wanted to be bitter. Who enjoys being angry and spiteful? I never wish my life onto others. Maybe only the good parts. The bad parts could drive people insane. I am halfway there.

And CNY is over...

One of the best events of the year has come and pass. The timing was just right as I suffered from exercise and work fatigues. Everything gets better with some awesome food and TV. How I missed wasting time in front of the TV. It is an undervalued privilege that many take for granted until they are deprived of it. Anyway, I want to keep this short.

My first new year's resolution coincidentally matches with my job responsibility and here is my first Android app. It is pretty exciting. I still have a list of them and I will update and take pictures as I go about accomplishing them. The next one would be to shoot a gun. Of course there is a possibility of things going awfully wrong at the shooting range but I think it is about the same as bungee jumping. Next up.

Even with the Chinese New Year festivities somehow my body managed to maintain its form. But something tells me my body needs the food. Anyway I think my shoulder and arms progressed while maintaining size. My back finally starts to take shape as well. However, I feel that my body cannot withstand the punishment at the gym that well so I decide to build a proper workout schedule. Nowadays I spend around 1.5-2 hours rotating between abs, arms/shoulders and legs. I think that with the increased weight demand as well as the number of sets I do, it might be counter-productive. So, I will take March and April to test things out. I have also started taking more chicken daily. I will get sick of it soon though. That's all for now. Welcome March!

Running Late

I would like to apologize for being late this time around. Well there isn't much to look at I suppose. After today's gym session I think I have reached my body maximum for some workouts. Either I have reached the peak for my current muscle stature and weight category or I need to enforce some other muscles to push myself further. Our body is an entire system of muscles so it should not be confusing to say one muscle complex can directly influence the performance of others. Nonetheless I have been improving slowly but surely. Another approach I can attempt is simply to gain more weight. Once I reach my target strength level, I can slowly shape my body properly and focus on maintaining it. Anyway, without further ado, a blur picture of myself. Yes, I still do not own a smartphone or a good camera.

Perspective and angle plays a major role in stuff like this. Take for example a frontal pic

Yes, the slant is on purpose but you get the idea. Besides, the scar on my first pic looks bad ass. It was an awesome part of my life. I am just thankful I survived that accident and have been doing well physically until now. I am sure many people say I complain a lot but I do know how to be thankful. Furthermore, most of my complaints are not based on a greedy need but simply what I think I deserve. I know I am already very good compared to some unfortunate people out there but that does not mean I should not strive higher. Or I should just be satisfied with what I have and keep quiet while I feel betrayed? Frankly speaking, I am not that noble. 

I am working hard to improve my own life and that means something. You do not have to throw the African kid at me all the time. I donated money through the proper channels once before, even when I am still fighting for a better life. Go check my Facebook photo album. If you have so much time to be picking on people, why don't you pick on people who waste money or their life away? I was actually wondering what to write for this blog post but it looks like my inspiration has once more been restored. Now things simply flow. I have experienced enough that I have plenty to say and do not need to plan out the post.

Speaking about happenings, I guess the first month of the year is pretty intense already. I was recently offered a heavy responsibility for a chance to prove myself after I throw ideas at the door for a year or more. I was given the chance to have partial ownership of almost every aspect of a product I developed. My first opinion? It is a farce. I am supposed to sell ideas to the boss and then implement it in his stead if he agrees. I fear I may be held accountable for everything though. There is no saying if he will reject everything I sell.

Anyway, what do I really know about marketing or sales? Why can't I just provide ideas and have the marketing people be in charge of it instead of me being the bloodhound chasing them without proper power. This is not a promotion. Wouldn't it make more sense to have the proper people handling whatever it is they are good at? Feels like I am getting the short end of the stick here. Isn't this the trick where upper management offers something ridiculous, you reject, and they said they already given a chance? How much longer will I need to prove myself? When will the company prove itself? And why must I ask not what the company can do for me after everything I have done for the company? I am not asking for 3 months bonus before I finish the project. I am asking for acknowledgement that I did a fine job after I finish the project. There is a line between loyalty and stupidity. 

Why the company never bothers to find out why my trust and loyalty is so low? I feel I have no future here. I have spent so many months on the damn project. I am sure everyone did. The results are below expectation. And the best plan is to make more enhancements and delegate responsibility to the developer? Does this mean if I were to put my heart and soul into the next big project it will be all for nothing again? No matter how good I am, no matter how wonderful the final product is, it does not mean anything because success is determined by numerous other factors. The perfect database can be spoiled by wrong data. The best tool is useless if nobody knows how to utilize it. The problem, is not something I can fix.

I know I can get in trouble for this post, but for my colleagues, if you want a gist of my recent thoughts, here you go. If you know my superior, just say I am bad ass. You do not have to agree with me because this is nothing but a one-sided rant. And this is how I am viewing things. If it is wrong, please correct me. If you think I do not care about the company, check your inbox. Most likely I have sent an e-mail to everyone in the company at least once, regarding work. To those who say the company is rich, no successful person ever fall back on that excuse when they fail. It does not matter how big your reserves are, if you do not know how to use it.