The road to PBIM

Today marks the last day of post-SCKLM honeymoon period. It was a fun week where I did not have to run twice a day, I get to eat almost anything and everything I wanted and I slept a lot. It is time for me to record down my training plan for the next big marathon which is Penang Bridge International Marathon (PBIM). The reason why I make it a blog post is so that everyone knows about it and because I care so much about how others think about me, I will be negatively driven to follow everything. That was a joke. I just want to make some clear decisions and what better way than to write them all out here.

But first, I want to address something I faced during the past week. I am sure a lot of you could not comprehend why I am so serious about things. Most of you have heard me saying that if I do things, I will do it well or I will not do it at all. That is just part of the story. I think when we do something, we have to get back something out of it. It has to matter to our future, to our health or whatever it is that you prioritize. I am a man that almost died 5 times. To me, time is a privilege that one cannot afford to waste. If I die tomorrow, will I amount to anything? 5 years ago, honestly no. Now, at least someone can read out my eulogy and say that I ran marathons, I supported my family and perhaps a good colleague. I am still working on the social life part. I just feel that if you put time and effort into an activity, at least get good at it. Even at games.

Back to training plans. Previously I managed to run around 70-80km a week with some hill and speed work tossed inside. I do not stick too closely to running theory so I do not do fartlek or tempo runs or other stuff that sounds cool. Not even interval runs. More than half of the mileage is done at the treadmill. I run twice a day; once in the morning before work and once in the evening after work. This time around I am not sure if I can increase the weekly distance to 90km. Maybe it is not required. I am thinking of keeping the original distance but increasing the quality of training. I am sure my legs are able to take on the challenge but this time I might just try listening more and see if I could gain more from my training. By listening, I meant my body signals. I used to just soldier on and run some crappy 10k just to reach the target. No more.

If I run, I run proper, I run strong. If I feel tired then I will reduce the distance or even settle for cycling which is much more fun. Of course I am afraid of being too lenient with myself but heck, this is just my first year of marathons, give me a break. Cycling might not be all bad. People call it cross-training or active recovery. Hill work will not be simply increasing/decreasing the incline every minute anymore. If there is one thing I learnt from all the runs is that each hill lasts more than a minute. More than 5 minutes. Therefore I will run slow, constant incline for 30 minutes. Let's see how it goes. Even though PBIM should not have any hills since it is a freaking bridge after all but hill training is generally good for all kinds of running.

For speed training, I will stick to 5k sessions on the treadmill. Maybe I will finally run a sub-25 this time around. Most of the time, the problem is that my body starts slow. Unless I have some distance beforehand, it is quite hard for my body to maintain high speed for a long duration of time. You can call it momentum. I am still not too sure if this will be a problem in the future. Negative splits are pretty common. That is running lingo for better timing in the second half. However, I am also considering on cutting down on speed training due to the strain to my body. Most of the time I am wasted after the run and I worry it might affect the rest of my day. Yes, I am doing this in the morning because I am pretty out of it by evening after work.

Usually after work I just stretch a bit and run a 10k casually. The problem is not completing it, the problem is waiting for time to pass. If I switch things up a bit by increasing the speed, I get very tired and I think it is not a good idea to really clear your reserves. However, if I never push a faster 10k, when will I be able to run faster for a longer period of time? I guess I will let my body tell me what to do when the time comes. So generally I can manage >10k a day on weekdays except Friday when I rest, a LSD on Saturday and then a short one on Sunday depending on the distance done the day before. If I do 15k a day, that is already 60k on weekdays alone. Have to see how it goes. This is also part of the fun.

Roughly a month later, we will know the results. I hope I can still improve on my time. It will still be a long way to go before I am chasing to shave a few seconds off my best timing. I think I still have room to do whatever I want. Some people blame age, some people blame a bad knee for slow timing. So I will abuse my healthy knee and my youth to establish a good running core and see how far I can take my running career. At the very least I should be beating people double my age. Some veteran uncles are not even running with shoes and here I am complaining about lack of cushioning. I feel like a spoiled brat. There is no pride or honor in defeating someone by waiting for them to grow old. I will improve as fast as I can and then I can stand tall with all of you on the battlefield. And maybe, just maybe, finally have some free photos of myself running. I am not famous enough for people to take pictures and share on Facebook. 'Famous' is a snobbish word, screw that. Let's just say I have not been acknowledged yet.

The pain got better

It has been a while since my last post. Many things happened. In fact things happen on a daily basis but I stopped blogging daily in order to avoid dwelling on too many things. It is a bittersweet relationship with my blog. It is my best friend who listens to everything I say but it is also one that does not reply. The good, the bad, the things I regret, the things I cherish. There is no one in this world that knows everything except myself. You cannot blame me for feeling so lonely most of the time. But I am not sure if anyone can possibly take in all of me. I admit I am not so likeable at times. At least nobody ever complimented me for being friendly.

Anyway, yesterday marks my third completed full marathon and I broke my personal record by over 20 minutes which is great. I entered the run hoping that I will improve but I did not set a goal time because a new course is always unpredictable. Furthermore it was only my third marathon, so I just wanted to leave some space for me to enjoy the race instead. Many things could go wrong like a bad cramp, an upset stomach, or worst, a leg injury. It was pretty sad to see runners who have to walk towards the end due to cramps. They were stretching beside the road with a very disappointed expression. Imagine yourself preparing for a few months only to end up missing your goal due to a cramp.

The soreness the day after is not that bad either so I suppose it is a good sign that my body is getting stronger and fitter. My left knee still hurts but it subsided after a nights rest and sitting at the office whole day. Most likely I can resume my training soon. How can I sit still knowing that I am still far from the realm of the gods? I told myself during the run that one day I shall be the one looking back at the crowd instead of me staring in amazement at the speed and determination of faster runners. Or perhaps I am more curious as to how it is like to be able to run that fast? Some things are not worth doing if you are not going to do it right. I take the saying to heart and I seldom participate in sports or events unless I am willing to venture everything and try my best. Some people get intimidated, but I think this is a good way to live for now.

I am actually quite blessed to have so much freedom to indulge in things. On the other hand, basically it means I have no life, like what someone said to me not too long ago. I still relive the conversation and the conclusion is painful but correct. I do not have an active social life at all. I have nothing beyond running or going to gym. But since I have nothing, at least I am not doing nothing or spending time in stuff that are generally not useful like games. I still play computer games to have some fun but that is generally during the weekends. No, I do not go out. And I do not have a car either. I am poor, bite me. I hope amidst this 'lifelessness' period of mine that I shall find a life. In the meantime, I will just do my best. Maybe, running will be my life.

I made new friends, I get to visit some interesting locales and I get to be healthier. And I can only see that in the near future I will make more friends and visit more places. After all, I did book a flight to Hong Kong next year which I wouldn't go otherwise. It will most definitely be a memorable experience. A year ago I could not even imagine myself running 42km. Now, I am running the distance in less than 5 hours. Perhaps in the future I will be able to run faster or further. There is now a goal, or at least something to work towards. Even though it is lonely, I can fill the void for now. For now, the pain got better.

Thoughts on team building

I have just returned from a company team building session at Langkawi and I think it is about time I start complaining again. Surprisingly the gripe this time around is not centred on the events or the games we are forced to play but what I learnt about my colleagues at work as well as myself. I totally understand why people would say that 'ignorance is bliss'. My opinions on them will never be the same again and I have to make adjustments on how I deal with them in the future. Why do I want to waste so much effort? I do not want to get annoyed and  it is impossible for me to ignore the things I have seen or heard. If you already know the road has a big hole, you will most definitely try to position your car out of the way in advance right? Same thing for me.

I think most of you know I have issues working with people I do not respect or worst, those that I deem not suitable for the job. But at least, if the person is trying his or her best I would still appreciate that. I cannot stand someone that takes things as a game or puts self above the job. And lastly, I would prefer the person to complain about the job a bit less. You accepted the role, now do it properly. You already know it is going to be tiring, you are going to be running around, and various people will pester you. You being tired or the food is not to your liking is your own issue and you should deal with it better. We are all tired. We are all eating the same food. Not our fault you are very choosy and you could not find something to eat at a freaking buffet. Think about that for a minute. A buffet.

I might sound like I am severely prejudiced against the said person but I guess I am. How dare you to actually claim that the food is not suitable for human consumption. Do you even think with your head? Just because you want to clear off all the props does not mean you can wipe it off at the losing teams. Can't you give something like certificates of participation instead? You have the losing teams march onto the stage to accept a beach ball which in the end becomes the 'Ball of Shame'. Lastly, the prize money for the winning team is so much. The points calculation were so questionable that finding out the amount of money won amplified the feelings of anger and disappointment. Many people really put in a lot of effort to complete all the games that day. Some got injured, some got sick, and you are just going to smile and say 'too bad?', I will wipe the floor with your face.

The prize money would have covered all my expenses coming to the team building event. The prize money would have allowed me to buy things for my friends or my family. The prize money would have been the difference between me going home with a bottle of whisky for my father or nothing at all. Some of us came back from the team building still bitter or perhaps even regret for not trying hard enough. Should we blame ourselves or blame the game masters that provided questionable results? Sure, it is just a game. But when money is involved, it is not anymore for me. I would rate the team building as a failure. I understand it is very hard to have everyone going back home with a smile. I guess next time I should just make sure I do not repeat the same mistake if at all possible. Most probably I will only fully comprehend the difficulty of the task when I am in the hot seat.

One more funny thing, during the beginning of the team building session, we were asked to present a question to the person next to me and I actually got the following question 'What is the best present you have received on your birthday? It hit me like a freight truck on fire. Since I am an adult, I have not gotten any presents for my birthday. My family is only as rich as I am and my other friends just wish me through Facebook. I have never gotten anything memorable recently. I guess I really do not have anyone that matters in my life. Maybe it is due to me never giving any presents to people on their birthday either? But it is not like they celebrate their birthday with me. I do not matter to them as much as they do not matter to me. 

Oh yeah, I also dislike how people really go crazy just for free beer. Why are you killing yourself with a smile? Why do you people make fun of people who do not want to drink? Can't we just have fun without drinking? Must we drink so that you will stop? Why are you causing trouble for everyone else? I was so pissed. They should also put all the beer drinkers in a room so that they will not cause a disturbance to those who want to rest early. All of us are tired. We do not need someone banging on the door and raising their voice, waking up everyone. Just because you are not waking up early, does not mean everyone else is not. Stop being so selfish and try to be more considerate for a change. Things will not change in the near future. I will have to live with it. I think I am going to stop now, I am getting sick of writing any more. Have a good weekend everyone.