I have a feeling more posts with a similar title will pop up every week. So here I am, deciding against playing computer games to rejuvenate my soul and writing skills instead. Usually I am pretty lazy on a Saturday considering I woke up early for my run and finished quite a number of chores. Quite recently I was disappointed after I found out one of the girls I had my eyes on since annual dinner is actually married. It came as a big surprise because she sure as hell do not look like a married woman. Well, a good woman would already be taken is what I always say. What's left are those who rejects a relationship or, if I may be brutally honest, not a good wife material. I am not saying I am without faults myself but think about it. If we really are awesome, we would be cuddling our significant other rather than me writing this or you reading this.
So I was thinking that there are no miracles in this world. Most things can be explained and is a direct or indirect consequence of a decision or action taken in the past. I never stood a chance, no matter what I do at this point. After a day of depression I thought why not try to think things the other way around and see how many of them would pop up. So this will be the topic for today I suppose. Let me try recounting the miracles that happened in my life so far.
The biggest point would be me still alive today. I have encountered life-threatening accidents for at least 4 times now. I almost drowned and I had several accidents involving motorcycles. Furthermore, there were news reports of freak accidents around the world. So I guess you could say it is a miracle that I am still healthy, with all my limbs intact without deformities. I am thankful for that. Of course part of health is due to exercise but what I meant would be terminal illnesses that just sprout for no good reason. The visible scars on my hands and my legs are very potent reminders of what happened last year. It is truly a miracle that I escaped that without broken bones or internal injuries. The external injuries are definitely horrible but I am looking at the worst case scenario. I could have died because the good samaritan that sent me to the clinic said I flew and my helmet got flung off.
I guess I can say it is a miracle that I landed on a good working environment right now. Things could have gone wrong at so many instances, I can only consider myself lucky. The arrangement right now could definitely improve but it is far from bad. I could have been transferred to another team. Twice. Met some good people and some not so good people but somehow I think they are helping me grow to be a better person. My infamous temper flared several times but it is already a big improvement if you compare with me from 5 years back. Previously I lamented on how the old me would have laughed at the current me for being such a weakling with no backbone. But sometimes being so direct and stubborn is not the best approach. In the end, our purpose is to live in the best way possible right? I guess I can only say I have gotten more practical. I am still a rebel every now and then but not as aggressive. And the people here are actually more open to opinions. I really like the way my foreign colleagues work and communicate. Totally different and much more effective.
There are no miracles in social connections or my non-existent love life though. I made some new non-office friends this year due to my participation in running but it may simply be an acquaintance. Without a car, my transportation options are severely limited. The people I meet usually already have their own established circle of friends so I don't really fit in either. After all, I am not from around here. Maybe the reason why I take friendship so seriously is because I have none. Each one is as precious as it could be and I guess the other party just do not think so highly of it. Can't really blame them. Still disappointing and angry though. About love, I realized I had not loved anybody I know since I started working. Korean bias does not count. Maybe I set my standards too high? Or simply because everyone has been taken? Well office relationships can be quite messy anyway. I don't really go socialize nor do I join any social clubs so I guess I had it coming? That's why it is called a miracle if I ever found one.
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