It has been a while since I have written a post. It has been a while since I have written anything longer than a standard Facebook status update except for work emails. I guess it is a good sign. I used to treat this blog as an outlet for my frustrations. I am still plenty frustrated all the time but I deal with them better now. Maybe it is just part of growing up. I have always been a late bloomer. I didn't chase after girls when I should and I didn't think much about finances until it was pretty late. Better late than never I suppose. I am still alive and well, kicking and thrashing into my 30th birthday end of this year. As long as I live, there is always tomorrow and subsequently new opportunities. But don't wait too long for matters not concerning yourself. You cannot control what other people do and it might be too late if you delay things too much.
I think I have done this before but I would like to dedicate this blog post to counting my blessings. We have always been telling others what is wrong and what is missing but we don't really tell others what is right and what is available. Of course it could be mistaken as being a showoff but we should always feel good about ourselves. Do not mistake my intention of being grateful as being complacent. Maybe more on that later. I found inspiration for this post when I was having a walk around the park near where I rent my room earlier before dinner. As I was walking by, there were 2 mothers with their children walking close to each other. One of them has the body of a supermodel, with the height as well. The other is just your average mother, visibly shorter but no less impressive. As the supermom ran after her child, the other watched as she whizzed by. At that time I wonder, what is she thinking about?
Would she be jealous of the height? Of course not. Maybe it was just an empty glance. Height is not something you can change no matter what you do. Sure you can try to do surgery that extends your leg but to what extent? At that point of time, I thought to myself, is it even something to be jealous of? I have always been insecure of my physical appearance due to lack of confidence but I have been joking about it for so long I don't really care anymore. And I thought that I am actually blessed to be this height. I am comfortable with this height, I feel good about this height. I should. I am not short at all. Me being able to bring out the attractiveness of my height is a different thing altogether. That is something I can change. Sure I got some postural problems but again, that is something that can be fixed. Then what about if I was 10cm shorter? Of course, maybe my thinking will be different then, but for now, I am just happy I wasn't even 5cm shorter.
With that in mind, I proceed to plan this blog post out. I think this is something good and positive that I should remind myself about. Physical appearance aside, what about my health? I am very lucky to have a healthy family background. No relatives suffer from any terminal disease as far as I know. So that actually boost my health rating by a lot. I do not have any genetic defects, disabilities or terminal disease myself. What are the odds? I can eat, sleep and run perfectly fine. I am here typing as fast as I can while listening to music. I am a fully functioning human being. Sure, I wear glasses but I can still see as far as most of you can. I can still appreciate the view of distant lands and I can talk about it to the people I know. I do not need any assistance to the toilet nor do I need to take medication every day just to live another day. This is actually awesome!
Now, here comes the grey area. What about my life so far? Considering I have lived through several life-threatening accidents without any broken bones I would rate it very lucky already. Furthermore at least a few of them is due to my own carelessness so I can't fault anybody else nor should I wish for anything better. The scars on my body is a small price to pay. I have a job and I can afford some of life's little pleasures. I am not rich at all but I am not poor either. Perspective is relative. Rich people would view my current way of life as being poor. But people born into poverty would be happy with just hot water and air conditioning. I think I am comfortable so it is still okay. I like distance running and I have been able to progress pretty well while meeting a lot of new people. Life's commitments don't always arrange themselves to let you have the luxury of investing so much time on a hobby. I consider myself lucky that I could actually find time.
Of course, I am still single. If I have a partner maybe I don't have time for running and my finances will be tight. However, that is okay as well. Look at everything I have listed. If every person is assigned their attributes from birth and all my relationship points are invested into all the other areas of life, I can't complain. Would I like to have a hot Korean girlfriend but I lose my leg or suffer from hypertension? No. I can answer immediately without thinking, NO. Humans are social creatures but we are also adaptive. Even if I should die alone, not knowing any meaningful relationships, well what can I do about it? By then it would already be too late to regret anyway. And here is where I want to draw the line between being complacent and accepting reality. No point crying about the present. It is as it should be. It is what it is. But there are many things you can control for your future.
I know I can enjoy running but I don't merely run, I try to excel in it and maybe make it a larger part of life by joining clubs or maybe even teaching people. I know I have a job, but I don't stay in autopilot mode, I fight for a better opportunity. Who knows, maybe when I am good at running it can help chip in where my job is lacking. I know I have the height but there isn't much point if I am overweight, I would just look like an overgrown pear. But I would look quite good if I slim down and pack some muscles. And from there maybe it would improve my chances of landing a partner for life. Well, even if it doesn't at least I think it opens up more opportunity to make more friends. I have more options. And all of this contributes to a better life in general which hopefully can extend my life. With a longer lifespan, I will have more opportunities to make things even better. As I mentioned in the beginning, as long as I am alive, I guess I can still make it for a lot of stuff.
So, in conclusion, I should just be happy with the present, right? No. I will stay greedy. But I will be grateful about it. Maybe we should all just take a day and reflect. I am approaching 30 now. It has been one hell of a run thus far but you can be damn sure I want to see what lies after that hill. Enough about me then. What about you? Hope this post helped you as long as it has helped me. It is pretty fun just sitting here and writing stuff. I used to write everyday. Can I write stuff like this everyday? Hardly. Things still feel like shit sometimes and you just feel like screaming at the sky. But this post is a great start ain't it?
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