Chores....

Haha dun ask me bout the title of the post...i juz simply put watever tat is in my head currently...now i got a ton of clothes waiting for me to hang and wash...i oso nid to cut my nails...itz 11 + now...i oso wan to watch anime n brush my teeth...however against my better judgement, i decided to chat in msn n blog...earlier i went to cc again for Black Ops...it is estimated i will finally prestige 2molo...almost level 49 de...level 50 is the cap..but sometimes the lag iz kinda bad...the performance today was one of the worst i would say...not much highlights...lost a lot of matches...i did add the last video in the theatre...one of those capture the flag games wif a superb revolver section and the final section involving me wif a minigun....yeap seriously a minigun...it was epic..surprisingly it iz kinda accurate...having 500 bullets in the chamber helps a lot against waves of enemies...2molo iz finally thursday...inching closer n closer to the end of the week...and wif tat november will draw to a close...next would be december....and then it will be the end of 2010...wat a roller-coaster year..i hav gained a lot from this year of living n working at KL...enuf to stop me from regretting how tis year was spent...actually there is never a wasted year...it depends on how u view things...perhaps tis iz juz a way for me to protect myself...by switching the view...hahaha...not sure la...i still feel sumthing iz missing from my life...some ppl afraid they will miss it so they stand at the same place looking patiently n carefully...i prefer to walk as i search...itz not so boring...hahaha...if i walk around at least i feel i m making progress though i m juz walking in circles...dammit i m starting to talk crap...hahaha...ok la...b4 i make myself more confused i better stop...nitez everyone...

Another night out

Finally tonight i get to play COD Black Ops multiplayer again...damn the game iz addictive...it is bad i think...most prob i will slow down wen i reach max level...not sure...i m aledi quite familiar wif some maps...some of the others require more exploration of the small roads...but general direction iz a bit clear liao...today i won 2 FFA matches~~ FFA means Free For All...out of 15 players i emerge victorious...clearly it is a blend of luck n skill..hahaha...i started out wif a lousy game summore...luckily i got warmer as i continued playing...mmmm...tis iz such a far cry from my daily life...cant blame me for being addicted to it i guess...in the game i carry the name fobseugene (dun ask me why) and i m a strong player in the Adelaide servers...currently level 46...a huge ego boost for me...back in real life, i m juz a nobody wif a rather full figure n long hair wearing specs...got no money and not much life either...juz another person in the background...but i will not give up juz like tis...one day things will change...ok la...nothing much to say 2nite...2molo might hav meeting at night so nid to sleep early..nitez everyone...

So little time...

Zombie monday iz over hahaha....seriously man...every monday iz almost the same for me...i sleep less on weekends than on weekdays =_=...n i sit bside my team lead as well...i m not the kind who enjoys sitting in front of the classroom de...but well i hav aledi sat in tat place for 1 year plus..anyway today i dun wana talk bout work anymore...will focus more on the title of the post...so little time indeed...i would think all of u hav a lot of things u wanted to do right now...well things like going for a holiday does not count in this case..i mean in the immediate timeframe..for example perhaps some of u might b thinking bout going yumcha, playing a game, watching a book or catching up on a drama...all at the same time!!...so u nid to choose one...i face such a crossroad everynight...seriously i got a lot of things to do..all equal in 'value' as the other i would say...arggh...n i was sidetracked for half an hour chatting wif my fren...lol...guess i shud keep it short...else i would end up the same tomorrow...sleep iz very important...but i wan to watch anime now...sigh...see wat i mean? too little time...so many things to do...

Ahhh...sleep..

I think most of us still in our youth do not like to sleep..but sleep iz such a luxury that some of us indulge in it wenever they hav the time...i for one, especially now...do not want to sleep...but we r built to require sleep..so i cant go against nature...well i could but it would end terribly for me hahaha...today iz Sunday..such a rollercoaster day...perhaps it iz due to me suffering from lack of sleep tat my emotions sway wif such abandon...at one point i was thinking if i died, would anyone actually hav anything to say in my funeral? do i really hav good frens tat understand me? tat could do me justice wen describing me etc etc?? plz dun ask wat brought upon such thoughts...but yeah basically i was wondering do ppl understand me...or perhaps i m making myself hard to b understood by others?? not so sure...i always try to understand n accomodate others though...but does not always work out anyway =_=...then at one point...well not exactly a high but then i managed to score a win in FFA COD Black Ops...it iz an achievement bcoz i m competing wif around 15 others as king of the map..i m oso suffering from lag...stroke of luck i guess...other than tat i m quite bored wif how the day turned out really...too much Black Ops? dun think so..but perhaps i realize how much it iz draining me tat i start to doubt things...well it iz fun to charge ahead wif reckless abandon but sumtimes nid to slow down n take a look around and wat my charging iz doing to the things around me as well...hmm see how it goes la...i think tatz all from me now...no nid to b concerned la..i wont think bout suicide or stuff...but death happens everyday u know? it juz pass through my mind...nothing more~ rest assured i will try my best to stay alive until i can run away no more hahaha...wish me luck then....nitez everyone

Nothing much to say..

For the post today, i dun really hav much to say...well today iz actually a 'real' weekend after quite some time...finally can get some rest...not exactly rest i would say...juz ESP...eat, sleep, play hahaha...even now i m suffering from a severe lack of sleep...but my body does not listen...hmmm...i guess tatz the wrong way to put it...coz i m not exactly asking my body to shut down now either hahaha...juz finished watching an anime...i like some of the phrases used...tatz one of the reasons why i like to watch anime...it goes sumthing like this...'Just because it is cliche, it means that it is commonplace among all of us. Is it wrong to chase after happy endings?'...the first part rings better...a real nice comeback to ppl who thinks we r cliche...but like the guy said...it is also because it is cliche tat means it iz common n perhaps accepted among the general public hahaha...n it iz not wrong to chase after happy endings no matter how lame or plain it is...tomolo iz going to b sunday..another day of gaming...Call of Duty : Black Ops seriously rocks...i m spending a lot on it daily =_=...hopefully my finances can last till end of the year...wait...screw tat...hope my finances can last FOREVER...hahaha...oh yeah i posted a new replay in the COD account...look for fobseugene theatre....'Get to the choppa!'...nitez everyone

End of project~

Today marks the end of the project i m currently working on~~ Tis week iz rather hectic but i m juz thankful tat the stuff is settled..now juz nid to wait for reply from the client...sure got changes...anyway even though i would like to say i can now relax at work, but the truth iz the work never stops...sumhow sumwhere there iz going to b sumthing for me to do...truly iz a job for workaholics...i juz go wif the flow i guess...2day juz had another round of COD Black Ops!! The game iz really addictive...wonder how much more my finances can stand the strain ><...but the year iz going to end!!...hopefully i will get my bonus tis time hahaha...ok la...back to the main story...onwards to the last day of TeenFest 2k10...actually by now i m kinda blur aledi...almost been a week...some parts r still fresh in my mind...well morning started uneventfully wif all of us getting ready for the last day..oh yeah the night b4, during dinner at Carl's Jr i made a declaration tat i will take a picture wif the girls!! so i set off hoping i could actually pull it off =_=...went for bfast at KimGary...hahaha i like the american breakfast there...cheap n tasty...better than mcD at least...after tat we headed over to our booth to start setting up everything...but mornings r usually slow..2day iz no different...therefore i went to check out Sony booth...and behold~ the Super Street Fighter 4 iz available to play!! The day before it was packed full of ppl lining up to play...i actually saw a person bringing dedicated joystick to play...yeah those big arcade simulator joysticks...either he iz really passionate or well he juz hav the money to afford stuff like tat hahaha...so i headed over to call my fren to play...at first i can still fight...but later i m hanging on the losing end...haiz...well i nvr really had much experience playing the game...so i cant really use any super moves or anything...juz simple punch/kick combos...either i m suffering from lack of sleep or itz juz me being bitter bout having a disadvantage....my fren celebrating his victories does not really help either...so i stopped playing b4 i did anything i will regret for the rest of my life...then i walked off to cool down...saw a colleague...chatted a bit n returned to my usual groove...oh yeah did i mentioned there iz a booth selling toy helicopters? they really can fly...hahaha...my fren bought one...anyway the rest of the day iz pretty routine...one of the showgirl's boyfren came around to hang out...decent guy...but we were planning to destroy him the night earlier after finding out he iz the boyfren...finally closing time approaches...as i was playing, one of the show girls approached n watch from behind..my highlight of the weekend has come~~...actually she was juz interested in the Starcraft 2 dedicated gear we are showcasing..and i was playing tat time...managed to strike a short conversation n found out she play Starcraft....my eyes lit up...i think...but then i caught a glimpse of the handphone she iz using to take the pictures...got bf liao...power level suddenly crashed...oh yeah...forgot to mention...i think it was the day earlier...or was it the last day itself, another girl played CounterStrike Online and me and my fren double-teamed to make fun of her...tat was oso a highlight...and she iz the one attached to the guy who frequent our booth...confusing? no worries...itz not important...haahhaa...now back to SC girl...while closing time most of us came around n joke n talked...n sumhow my fren asked SC girl to take a pic wif me...i was embarassed to say the least...i aledi given up on my wish to take pics wif the girls there...since it will onli b more painful...but i shouldnt reject it either..so my brain froze and struck a dumb looking pose...took the pic and i thanked her...felt like an idiot and probably it was true =_=...this is one of those moments wen i hate myself...i bet u would slap me too...thank god the ppl there could refrain...hahaha...well tat was it i guess...after tat we took a group picture...and then packed up everything n had sushi for dinner~~ they dropped me at home...i tried not to focus on reality at tat time...seriously man...tis will nvr happen again...even though i come again for TeenFest 2k11, the ppl will b different the circumstances will be different...TeenFest 2k10 onli happens in 2010...tatz it everyone...show iz over...and thus i end my blog post...hope u all enjoyed my recollection of the 3 days...not too boring...not too interesting either eh?? but tis iz MY blog...so i will write watever i wan to write...well as long as it doesnt hurt me or the ppl i know...tat iz veli important...nid to remind myself from time to time too...u guys wan pictures? go check out FOBS page in faceebook plz...thank you ^^ nitez~

On hold~

The last bit of the story will hav to wait longer...hahaha...kinda tired today...not a very good day either...frankly speaking, the day sucked...couldnt perform well at work...i think i look like a noob...i duno...cant really put my feelings into words...perhaps wat my fren say earlier iz more accurate...i do not feel satisfied at my work at all...but i cant do any better anyhow...helplessness? i m not sure...juz hav a bitter feeling in my mouth...well at least 2molo iz friday...after tat, it will be the weekends...hopefully things will go smooth tomorrow...but reality hav a tendency to land a sucker punch wen u least expect it...i guess tatz why itz called a sucker punch...hahahaha...ok la i wan to sleep liao...at least i know i wont wake up still feeling down like right now...wonder if i will hav a nice dream...though i seldom dream anything most of the time..perhaps i forgot bout most of it...hmmmm....daydream a lot though...^^

Another stop~

Sorry everyone...i screwed up my schedule today...so i cant spend time blogging too much...itz 7 minutes till 1am and i nid to go work 2molo...got things to rush too...haiz...anyway finally a break iz very good..i hav been heading off to events for the past 2 weekends that i do not hav time to idle around...or shud i say having the freedom to do watever i wan wenever i wan...quite a lot of stuff to catch up...anyway nothing much to highlight today...played COD: Black Ops again lo...lvl 20++ liao...managed to get top 5 in Team Deathmatch with ease..most ppl r criticizing the game for devolving into a trigger-finger kind of game...but isnt that how ppl win a gunfight normally? u can still camp or snipe from afar if yur reflexes are not quick enuf hahaha...but to each their own i suppose...anyway tatz all for now...i m so going to die tomorrow =_=

Holiday~~

Finally a day of rest...hahaha after 2 weekends of frantic fun, hopefully 2molo will b a day of rest..as u may notice, i m blogging quite late into the night...well tis iz bcoz i was occupied wif COD : Black Ops at the cc for 4 hours earlier hahaha....currently at lvl14 i think...i only played it for 2 hours actually..the other 2 iz spent on various other stuff...b4 i continue the story yesterday, juz a short update on my day...started routinely enuf but towards the end it gets hectic...trying to meet a tight deadline...i will try my best...other than tat i heard some interesting gossip...but it may just end up as gossip...i m not at liberty to discuss it here as it iz kinda serious but if it turns out to b true, then the new year will start wif a bang!!..some of u may b able to predict wat i mean aledi...ok then back to the second day...woke up and proceeded to pick up my laundry before getting ready to depart wif my fren to MidValley for the second day of TeenFest 2k10...it was a bit late as he got sumthing to take care of and we ended up having breakfast near my place...once we reached, it seems tat we r not too late nor too early...everyone seemed to hav juz arrived and iz bz setting up their booths...we too waste no time and proceeded to do the same....and then the girls came in...what a breathtaking sight...as some of u may know, i hav been trying to put tis kind of stuff at the sidelines for a while de...if u wan a definite answer as to why....i cant really put my finger on it...anyway being in close proximity with pretty girls tend to stir any guy i think...i try to pay no heed and proceeded to act cool...which iz sumthing i will regret later on...well the day pass by quickly enuf...managed to mingle around and sample Playstation Move at the Sony booth as well...played a whole bunch of Starcraft 2 games...some of the players who lost even swear...it was amusing to say the least...i oso managed to play some Starcraft 2 custom games...some of them quite addictive...wen i mentioned mingle earlier, more or less i juz butt in into the chit-chat my fren n his partner had with the girls...perhaps a bit rude but well it was good fun...i particularly appreciate the reaction from one of them...more sporty n outgoing...but still not the best yet...sometimes i wonder...if reality threw both of them at me i dun really know wat to do...in anycase it would hav been better than how it iz now...wen i cant even choose at all =_=...anyway like i mentioned in countless blog posts or facebook posts or yumcha sessions wif frenz....nothing could win me over more easily than a sweet smile on a pretty face...i tend to focus more on the face than the body...hey now, no dirty thoughts k? hahaha...as i mentioned in the previous post, it would b disgusting and an insult to them...appreciating their beauty iz a different thing altogether...back to the main topic...after the stuff iz over, i headed to get movie tickets for Red tat night...then we had our dinner at Carl's Jr...their burger rocks!!...my fren and his partner liked it...i m glad i didnt introduce sumthing tat does not fit their tastes...the movie was epic fun...i dun think i nid to write the review here for i m sure u guys can read bout it elsewhere...after the movie, even when we reached our hotel, we still keep on talking bout the quotes and the interesting scenes....at the hotel we juz took our bath and relaxed by watching some tv...and tat iz the end of the second day....hope u guyz enjoy reading it...i m very tired right now....itz aledi 2:30am..nitez everyone...

More updates...

Yesterday i was blogging half-awake....couldnt include all the minor details haha...today i think can consider i m blogging 3/4 awake la...hahaha...hopefully by tomolo i will recover more...anyway before i turn back time, a short status report...i still feel washed out today...the usual routine lo...wake up aledi feel sien...thinking wat to do for work la, nid to face work issues la, wonder wat kind of shit will pop up la...all negative thoughts...furthermore their images are still fresh in my mind...it does not help tat i hav an active mind...dun misunderstand, i m not the kind to imagine x-rated crap towards ppl tat i respect and admire...tat would be disgusting and an insult to those ppl..halfway through the day, my fren actually sms me...i tot it muz b sumthing urgent or sum news but it was juz a greeting =_=...hahaha nvr actually expected it...but it was a good change of pace...however late afternoon was tedious as usual...cant stay awake for long periods of time...eventually i persevered to go back home around 6.45...it was raining though....got soaked...luckily dun feel like faling sick haha...so back to those 2 days of mayhem...actually 3 la but friday night does not count since i onli reach there around 7pm...i was lucky to find a taxi willing to take me there...the taxi driver oso knew an illegal shortcut haha...anyway once i reached the destination, nothing can hide my amazement...i dun think i hav ever seen a place like TeenFest 2k10 before...however, i managed to keep my jaw from dropping down on the floor and made a beeline for my fren's booth...once there, despite my best efforts, my jaw came crashing down n rolled round the floor....as i scrambled to pick it back up and regained my composure, i saw my fren n chatted a bit...the girls were awesome hahaha....since the events stop at around 9, i decided to take a walk round the whole place...the sony playstation booth iz juz behind my fren's booth...got demo sets for Playstation Move as well..it iz a good chance to get a feel of the next gen motion capture tech...saw a guy cosplaying as Captain Jack Sparrow...as i grinned amused i checked out most of the other booths...tis iz one heck of an exhibition...time passes quickly and i made my way back to the booth for a game of Starcraft 2...then i helped them pack up and headed off to find their budget hotel...the place iz kinda nice though the bathroom iz kinda ermm...narrow i guess...once everything iz settled, we went to search for food...contacted what my fren claimed as the 'Human GPS' and sure enough he brought us to the best original 'pan mee' stall known to him...it tastes great!!..it iz along Old Klang Road...sorry i cant provide better directions but i wasnt paying much attention to the surroundings hahaha...after the dinner, they ferried me back home and i pack up in preparation for the next day...therefore tis ends my blog post for today...i will continue 2molo...my vision iz starting to blur...seriously...hahaha...nitez guyz

1 week + later

Here i am blogging again...1 week + later...sorry for not blogging so long...i m too exhausted wif my work and my life right now...but seriously i hav a lot of things i wana spill out today...it iz juz kinda overwhelming...but i guess it iz in a good way...so let me continue from my last post ok?? dun worry...all of them will juz b summary of what happened hahaha...so my last post was for friday, first day of pc expo midvalley...well the second n third days are not very exceptional though...kinda the same...one of the few highlights would b eating haagen dasz ice cream again, found ppl who r rude and also managed to chat up some girls which iz an accomplishment for me hahaha....ok la not 'some' la...can count wif one hand de =_=...about the rude ppl well...i guess they were born tat way? but still, now i understand how those promoters feel wen we ignore them as they try to give us brochures...at least wave or smile a bit la...however, i do admit some promoters go overboard wif their actions...well there r 2 sides to a coin...those few days were short but sweet...a much needed change from my daily routine...however all good things muz come to an end...and what a depressing ending it was...i was feeling veli down the next day n veli tired as well..hmmm...the highlight for my working week would juz be the appraisal i guess...the other days were kinda routine...nothing new...so the annual appraisal iz over wif me getting a 'Meet Expectations' rating...so i m entitled to some goodies i hope ^^...some ppl even gotten Exceed...though i shud b glad wif my own rating, cant help but b curious n envious of other ppl...well it iz over de...i feel like i won the war wif a hollow victory...it was a given victory, not a hard-fought one...the manager was juz hoping i would give enuf reason to justify the rating...i think he aledi had plans for all of us...so my arguments mostly are void but juz to let me voice out stuff...anyway onwards to the juicy part...tis weekend i attended TeenFest 2k10...wif me fren again no less hahaha...he got a booth there again...however there iz a significant difference wif all my previous experience...there were 5 show girls...well if the term 'show girl' iz an insult to you beauties then might as well say there were 5 pretty girls stationed at our booth which iz a segment of the big Razer booth...seriously epic wei...ok la perhaps not to u guys out there but for sum1 like me, it was eye-popping indeed...but well...wen i reach tis part of the story i juz suddenly feel like stopping...dun really feel like talking bout it...i really feel useless though...i mean i know i wan it, my fren knew i wan it n yet i juz stepped back...unable to come out from my comfort zone...i suck wei...i m onli good at stuff tat does not matter...thank god for the short moments i could enjoy talking to those pretty girls though...and cant miss out thanking my fren and his company (FOBS - look for it in facebook!! ALL THE PICS ARE THERE!!!!) for chances like tis...as for why i decided to show a name? well juz think of it as a way for me to rebel against everything tat drag me down...i duno if i will regret tis but hell...i dun really care anymore haha...and yet the lyrics are stuck in mind...'so don't apologize, i m losing what i don't deserve'...i know i deserve none of u yet...i cannot blame anyone but myself...but seriously...thanx for juz talking to me...thank you all!!! and good nite. oh yeah, here iz a pic....sori guys...n the girls..pray they dun find tis so quickly hahaha...wait....on second thought screw u guyz...go look at it at FOBS page kekeke...

PC Expo Midvalley 2010 Day One

The day started out rather early...even though we slept 2am the night b4, we woke up around 8:15 am tis morning...mostly due to fear of Deepavali traffic...however to our surprise the journey to Midvalley from our budget hotel onli took around 20 minutes =_=...found a nice parking spot and went in to see if the convention hall is opened or not...the time is not 9:45am and there are a lot of exhibitors waiting outside the hall...we decided to go McD for breakfast instead...chatted for a while n stared at ppl lining up to buy tickets even before the ticket counters are open!!..around 10:15am we decided to carry our stuff down and waited for the hall to open for exhibitors....dragging the 30kg package iz no joke...luckily i did not strain myself playing bowling the night before...after setting up everything, the PC Expo is finally opened to the public at 11am sharp...I was amazed at the amount of traffic...but perhaps it iz due to tis being Midvalley hahaha...it was fun explaining stuff to interested ppl n then playing the showcase computer...it iz awesome...haha i got do my job one...i managed to talk some ppl into being interested to buy stuff...thus i was rewarded wif a double-scoop Haagen Dasz chocolate ice-cream.....yumm...we had to skip lunch though n juz carried on wif some drinks...yeah the reception iz tat good...manage to catch a glimpse of the pretty girls round the place..and damn they r nice to look at...n juz wen i thought i hav given up flirting...the urge grows hahaha...there they are, posing, laughing n smiling...everything ended around 9pm...packed up and head towards KFC for dinner...dun really know wat else to eat...i think my feet died...but well i cant say it iz satisfying...sumthing iz lacking..but i dun feel my time iz wasted at all...hopefully 2molo will be better...yeah it will be better...hahaha...days like tis should last forever...i feel i belong in tat place...feel needed...i sure am glad i joined the PC Expo now...ok lo i take back my words...i m kinda satisfied~ lol...

PC Expo Midvalley 2010 Prequel

Today marks the day i depart to help my fren in PC Expo exhibition...now i m sitting on my bed in a budget hotel call Sun Inn opposite of Sunway Pyramid...well he has experience staying here so i wont question his choice...but tis iz the first time i staying in one...i guess tis iz wat my colleagues r talking about during their travels to HK or Taiwan...well it still iz better than my room though haha...my fren came to fetch me around 9.30...decided to hang out at tropicana mall for a while since he nid to check out some gaming stuff...after it iz settled, we decided to head over to Sunway Pyramid...i myself havent go there for many years so of course i agreed...well it wasnt tat grand but wasnt shabby either...went there n saw ppl practicing ice skating...quite nice haha..wanted to catch midnight movie but it starts around 12am...we still nid to wake up early 2molo to setup everything....so we decided to head elsewhere instead...to the bowling alley!! haha long time since i played bowling...scored above 100 in both games so itz all good lol...i really should play more...there were pretty girls all around Sunway...much better than the usual i see round my place...but then the reason iz kinda obvious...itz Sunway ma...lol ppl go there to hang out...of course dress up more nicely lol...i think later we will still hav supper and then finally my first PC Expo experience will begin!! Hahaha...today was considered ok de...hopefully it only gets better...however i still nid to handle my year end appraisal...haiz...n after the briefing by my manager today....things seem kinda bleak =_=...tis time my persuasive skills will really be put to the test...nitez everyone

Savage Dog Cerberus

Hahah i m writing tis post while listening to tis song...besides, the title sounds totally wicked...as some of u may know, today i nid to attend the weekly night meeting wif the ppl on the other side of the world..so as i depart around 10 sumthing, can say the streets of kl iz more empty than usual...i always enjoy blazing through the roads...especially the blowing wind...gives me a feeling cant find anywhere else...as i m riding, my thoughts float elsewhere...i could think of many different topics...frens, work, entertainment etc...but guess i will stick wif a topic onli...yesterday i blogged bout reconnecting wif an old fren n he saying it might b the time to stop gaming...he oso asked me if my family let me drive motor in kl...so it got me thinking...izzit really tat dangerous? perhaps i hav been lucky throughout tis 1 and a half years here...but perhaps my parents would prefer me to drive a car too if possible...duno bout tat haha...but i wouldnt trade in my motor...i can skip traffic, i dun nid to pay parking n my motor iz aledi fully paid..no monthly installments...n oso the petrol costs r quite low...my income iz not tat high either...so those r my most important reasons as to why i still driving my motor...hell once i even overtake a ferrari at the highway bcoz the car iz stuck in traffic lol...i think investing in an expensive car in malaysia iz kinda dumb...even as a display of status, it iz not worth it...well there r many different kinds of ppl in this world...n it iz through tis variety that improves our life one way or the other...if we meet bad ppl, take it as experience n try to move on...if we meet good ppl, we get another good fren we can rely on...but if u meet onli bad ppl then it might b hard for u...tatz why i say try to move on...it iz not so simple sumtimes...i cant say that meeting onli good ppl iz bad...perhaps a carefree life?? hahaha...but i do hope my life iz of different shades n colours...it iz onli 1 way le...once the journey iz over, the colour of yur life will show how u live....onli 1 colour seems kinda boring doesn't it? hehehe....

Gaming time...

The reason i chose tis topic iz coz today i reconnected wif a long lost fren...and he said ppl our age mayb shud stop gaming...but i doubt tat...i think it iz a passion that iz unique to each gamer...some gamers play casually and can stop wen there r more important things going on...so r hardcore and muz spend some time daily practicing their l33t skillz or juz fulfill their addiction...i try to find my middleground between those 2...but nevertheless my gaming time will still persist...however i m suffering now due to gaming as well...it takes a lot of time from my daily schedule...and it does not help tat i find the game fun n entertaining...luckily i m still able to keep my wits around me and stop b4 it gets too serious...hmmm gaming addiction iz pretty bad actually...even though it iz cheaper and perhaps by a slight margin healthier than addiction to smoking or porn, we r still wasting money on it...but no gamer will admit tat it iz a waste...haha i agree on tat as well...but to chase after hardware to continue playing games iz very expensive..some of us dun even use the computer to itz maximum potential...but juz to satisfy our gaming or entertainment needs...well i guess it will b hard to understand for non-gamers....same as gamers not understanding the joy of modifying cars or going shopping perhaps? but i do know some 'hybrids' every now and then...hahaha ok lo..time to sleep...reason i keep on blogging evn though it iz WAY past my bedtime iz bcoz i dun wan to break my word if i am still able to keep it...nitez everyone~

Broken promises

Today is the 1st of november...and i resume blogging once more..hahaha...sorry for not keeping my word of blogging daily but if u spend onli 5 hours sleeping a day i think it is excusable to skip...hanging out wif family and frens hav nvr been so tiring...but well worth every moment...wonder wat would hav happened if i remained here...but perhaps i m juz exaggerating bout the situation...i bet i would be blogging and the days will pass juz like usual...but i do feel refreshed now...wonder how did i survive 2-3 months without going back? Well no point thinking bout it, now i nid to stand firm for another 1.5 months before heading back again...hopefully i wont need to burn through my reserve annual leave hahah...back to topic, broken promises are something nobody likes...even though u may hav a solid reason and perhaps it might even be the correct thing to do...but swallowing it iz not so simple or straightforward...perhaps the damage is lessen by being informed bout the betrayal earlier without finding out yurself...but a broken promise is a broken promise...no matter how u clean up the shards, u cant heal the scar left behind by multiple strikes...well the reason i m suddenly talking bout tis iz not due to other ppl FFK or breaking their promises with me...instead itz me who couldnt blog daily that brought about tis thought...i do experience a fair share of broken promises but if i actually bother to keep count of it all, it will do me more harm than good...i believe tis holds true for everyone out there...if u can find the capacity to let it go, then do so...some things are juz not worth the effort...

Midnight run~

Haha now i m blogging from a cc in ipoh...n itz 3am now...dota marathon iz indeed fun..hahaha enuf for today...duno will continue till wat time...

Boiling point...

The kettle reach boiling point de...at most iz i can onli add water to slow it but i cannot put out the fire...today iz a frustrating day....i dun really know if i hav the liberty to elaborate here...god knows who might read it...fate has a weird sense of humour hahaha...well perhaps i will go towards personal side la...i think i nvr mentioned tis b4, but my housemate decided to upgrade the TM subscription to 1mb...yes it was originally 512...the subscription package include a TM modem....but since the modem was changed, all hell breaks loose...download speed iz unstable and i cant even play on9 games...yes la...all my afterwork activities went down the drain...not onli tat, i may hav caused my frens the match due to me lagging...ahh..enuf complaining...hell i m even complaining to my brother thru MSN...tis iz horrible~~...better go sleep...

Change of plans...

A change of plans...in a good way hahaha...i will b going back ipoh tis week~~ Actually was supposed to go back next week in conjunction wif Deepavali holidays...but since there iz a chance to earn extra money, why not go for it? Not onli tat, i can mix around wif ppl of relevant interests and sample the newest stuff available for the public...it is going to b held at Midvalley...i can spend some time hanging out there as well...hmm...seems like a good plan indeed...pardon me for the secrecy but u know bout the place i m working...anyhow tis month iz going to b an interesting one...almost every weekend there will be an event...has my spring finally arrived?? lol...it isn't too late to turn the whole year around by ending it wif a bang...a good bang of course ^^...nowadays while working i listen religiously to the songs in the latest Linkin Park album, A Thousand Suns...i m certain that most of us share the same opinion about the song...Iridescent...a quick google will reveal the meaning of the word - displaying a spectrum of colors that shimmer and change as the location of the observer changes...therefore i really agree wif the lyrics...sometimes u juz hav to let it go...do not think that letting it go iz a sign of weakness...oftentimes it takes great strength and force of will to juz let go of sumthing or sumone..this bcomes more relevant when the lyrics read 'Remember all the sadness and frustration'...i think the meaning iz different for each of us but to me it seems to say to accept that it is not worth chasing after anymore...remember all the pain and just let it go...even though it might bring more pain...some ppl might interpret it as juz putting down everything...do not keep the sadness n frustration caused by sumthing or sum1 to remain in yurself anymore...it iz not worth it...or even perhaps to ask us think bout the other side of a conflict..since u know better, u shud juz let go......in any case, i think all interpretation brings positivity....this is a good direction to choose...instead just singing bout angst, drugs or pure negativity, rock can oso be used to sing bout stuff like tis and bring 'hope' to all listeners...i too will let it go soon...Linkin Park rocks!!

Monday night yumcha~~

Yeah juz came back from yumcha wif a fren from ipoh...managed to discuss a whole lot of stuff...now i m left wif many decisions to make..among the most urgent ones would be whether i wan to go back ipoh or not on deepavali...even though i bought the tickets aledi, i think i can switch the date...itz quite a pity to see him working by himself during the PC Expo...tis iz one hard decision...if i skip this one, then wen will i head back ipoh? There are no more public holidays in the short term...and i cant really use any more of my annual leave...i hav 5 aledi reserved for december..hopefully i wont nid to make tis decision alone...i will try to find opinions...ahh...itz been a long time since i went yumcha like tis...sure i do go yumcha wif my housemate but joking in english iz different wif joking in cantonese....and the topics are different...how long hav i waited? sumtimes it makes me wonder....well perhaps 10 years from now i will b able to view the time i spent here more clearly and in a more matured way...and then i can come to a final conclusion : was it worth it?....but for now i shud juz savour the moment and enjoy it..it has been long since i enjoyed myself...everytime i could onli describe wat i see to him through MSN...bringing him around n talking bout things we both are interested in iz seriously different and fun...it iz among the many things that are missing from my life now...though for a moment, it was better than none already..0.1 > 0...

November looms

Another weekend has passed by...and as the post title says, november iz coming...the final 2 months of the year...well first of all, there would be my pay for this month...then i will b coming closer to my first bonus of my working life...hahaha...today i think i will skip my daily status updates...most of it onli hav meaning to those who know bout it or are there with me wen the events happen anyway...earlier i checked the blog stats and seems like i receive some regular page views...izzit by the same person? i do not know but i m indeed glad to see some ppl do read bout tis...if there r any contents tat u wish to read, plz do comment and i will try my best to accomodate yur wishes...counting 2day i think it would make around 2 weeks of continuous blogging? well it iz not sumthing special..i m sure everyone has the ability to blog everyday but it depends on whether they wan to do so or not...some r pretty bz wif their stuff n might feel too tired to blog etc...or perhaps some might think that simple blog posts with no special content are not worth posting at all...ermm....kinda like a memory scrapbook of sorts yeah? then perhaps i m the boring type that does not need any decorations or pictures...i do hav the capacity to express myself in a more interesting manner but i do not see the need to do so...tat would make blogging feel like a chore ^^....now i m juz writing freely...wat i wan and how i wan it to be...not bound by anything but my own whims...but perhaps my whims are not aligned with the general public's interests hahaha...who knows? mayb there will be one day where i will bend...i m aledi bending over backwards for my job...mayb it iz juz a matter of time b4 i bend for sumthing else...hahaha...

Saturday night fever~~

Listening to Linkin Park new album now....damn they rock...at first my initial reaction iz the same wif most ppl...wen i heard the songs i thought tis aint Linkin Park!!!...but as i try listening again...tis time going for the lyrics...they were awesome...hahaha...some of the songs really catchy...the tune iz stuck in my head...n the lyrics are easy to learn...tis morning went for a run then followed my housemate to a country club to play badminton...i think i almost dislocated my shoulder...seriously rusty liao..no more oil in between the joints at all...but it was fun playing badminton again...then head over to the swimming pool to chill!!! it has been ages since i went to a pool...and i can't swim anymore =_=....i used to b able to swim geh...i forgot even the basics de...so juz sit around..nice once in a while to dunk yurself into a pool of water...after tat we headed to McD...hahaha quite a long time havent had a Big Mac as well...after tat, the rest iz kinda routine...trip to cc and then went back sleep, dinner and now i m sitting in front of my pc....downloaded 6gb worth of stuff and it claims to b corrupt...haiz...wat r the odds??...wasted 1 week...logged into garena n started playing mini games...hahaha...sometimes it iz more fun playing all those...but wonder how do ppl actually hav the time n energy to create those maps?? well doesnt matter tat much...time for another dota match and then hit the sack...nitez everybody...n then it will b SUNDAY...

Here comes another weekend...

Ahh...nothing beats a good dota game wif funny frens...hahaha at first i was quite emo...duno why tis few days feeling veli down n empty...earlier after dinner i go cc n play alone tim...no feel at all..waste joh rm3..wat my fren say iz correct de...indulging in yur own sorrow will not solve anything...it will onli breed more sorrow as u empty yur pockets trying to fill in the blanks...but still many ppl like to try drowning everything with beer n liquor...commendable but not reliable haha...i do miss those days though..well most of the time we cannot change our circumstances...tatz why the depression lasts so long...if there iz a valid action or choice to b taken, we would hav done so...yes, there iz always a choice...but choices are seldom solitary..most of them hav far reaching effects or it depends on other factors...so even if u could see a path in front, there might b chains tat tie u down...i guess i shouldnt spend too much time blogging 2nite...nid to wake up exercise 2molo..haha...it will b a 'healthy' day...sumtimes i love being tired...perhaps bcoz most of the time i nvr flex my body...onli sit in office...haiz...growing horizontally summore...yes i gained weight...i m not hoping exercising once a week will help me lose them but at least i might hav a chance of maintaining my current weight....tatz all for today...take care everybody~

Emotions run high...

Today is thursday liao...went to work n greeted wif a defect report from the users/clients...i sighed and went to work on fixing it and preparing my report...itz not a routine thing but bcoz a report came in about a month ago n i got very anxious bout it coz nvr receive sumthing like tat before...itz kinda like a customer complaint...so the related procedures r still quite fresh in my head...but onli thoughts bout the aftermath of such complaints streak through my head...another complaint i thought...year-end appraisal sure die liao lo...wat bout bonus??...i place a very high importance on the year-end bonus...but if really dun hav i oso kenot do anything bout it...such iz the state of my working life...perhaps most of u r wondering...why i nvr go search for the cause? well...the cause iz easy...i juz didnt found the defect...was i not looking hard enuf? not really either...i duno where to look...unless i m the user, i dun think i can really anticipate how i m gona deal wif the application...and my small amount of experience cant help much...haha the defect was from sumthing i coded back in february...back then i only worked for 7 months?...at least i could understand my mistake immediately now...well sumtimes u r buried in yur tasks n u cant see so clearly...but no matter...i know some of u thinking i m juz giving excuses...so i wont waste much more of my words trying to justify my own thinking..ahh...today i sure am emotional...i myself can feel it...i get irritated easily...n i didnt hav much morale to do anything at all...not to mention i lost a round of dota juz now..shud hav juz chatted in msn n watched some anime...everything iz building up at the core of my being...it feels terrible...i dun even know wat i wan to do now...cry? sleep? hit ppl? laugh? play games?...heart juz feels heavy...wat can i do to make it go away? i dun hav much frens nearby...even if i do hav, itz fast approaching 12...some of them nid to work la etc...on MSN? well talking bout matters like tis in MSN might not b a good idea since misunderstandings can occur quite easily...or i will do wat i usually do....swallow it n sleep..n it will stock-pile...soon it will bcome a mountain n a wall...i know itz a bad habit but can u blame me? i m skewered by my own past and factors i could not control...doesnt even leave room for me to breath...i consider myself resilient but this has gone far enough...if days like this were to occur more often....i dun think i can take it anymore...

Return to innocence....

Finally the day has ended...tis marks the beginning of the end...of the week...hahaha...juz reached home not too long ago coz every wednesday got status meeting wif the ppl in charge living at the other side of the world...kinda fun occasionally to speed through the highway on my motorbike without heavy traffic...while chatting wif a colleague today, suddenly touched upon near death experience...the most recent one for me would b the motor crash during second year of uni...the scar still remains but it iz not sumthing to b ashamed of...it iz a reminder of many things...and i m proud of the mark it has on my body...anyway on my way back home, i decided to stop by at the petrol station and then pass by a playground...there i see ppl playing on the swing...and suddenly numerous thoughts race through my head...return to innocence...how nice...wen things were simple and fun...wen a day ends, can't wait for the next to arrive...to go to sleep knowing tomorrow will bring much more fun and joy...and it oso relates to something else...i wish to bring the girl i love to the playground one day....start the night by meeting up at the shopping mall...greeting her wif the shy grin of mine as she walks in with her trademark smile lighting up my life...then we head off to grab something light for dinner b4 heading off to the movies chatting all the way...once the movie has ended, we hop onto my trusty motorbike and make a beeline for the night hawker center to buy supper... then we change location once again...tis time, we head towards a playground for a night time stroll and to feast on our food...we bought ice cream as we see ppl of all ages gather around and enjoy the cool peaceful night...lastly and most definitely, we will play on the swing...thus ends the happy memory both of us will share...hahahah...seems ideal to me..i know i m too old for this...but i really wan to go back once more to being a child again...enjoying the simpler things in life..to smile n to laugh without a care in the world...2molo iz juz another day of fun...and i wan to bring her along wif me...

Floating around...

Yeapz...i m floating around in the sea of events...day in day out pass by without any real meaning...now i juz continue wobbling around my path...since my weekends were so fantastic, the weekdays pale in comparison...since it iz aledi pale, when a negative event occurs, it goes pitch black...the probability of a positive event to occur iz kinda slim...considering the nature of my daily routine...there r so many things i wan to say and yet there iz always a chance that this blog will be found...and this time, the risk iz higher than it used to be...guess some things nvr do change after all this while...anyway perhaps i should concentrate on what i could say...in regards to my post in facebook, i do personally think wen one could not see anything past his/her own personal dissatisfaction regarding sumthing or sumone, tat means there iz no more turning back...there iz no more reason to accept or to comply with the source of dissatisfaction...this is not a phenomena that happens overnight...it gradually builds over a period of time...over a series of bad...or perhaps 'unfortunate' events...does luck really do factor into this i wonder...any immediate entertainment onli serves to reduce the negative feelings that iz being accumulated in the heart and iz temporary as the underlying problem does not disappear...it will soon return and the effort spent to entertain oneself might hav been gone to waste..however sometimes we will 'forget' or 'ignore' the problem as long as it iz not brought to our attention...that iz why it is not a good idea to always rely on an 'escape'...soon everything may add up and complicate things...wen we r reminded of the initial problem, we will feel overwhelmed by the current scope of everything altogether...and then we will suffer...the solution seems simple now that we hav identified a major part of how the system works but consider this....i did not factor in environmental variables...meaning outside influence to the existing problems and the system...and this iz what i currently face...and hopefully something i will solve...wen u cant beat reality, u work around it...

Another monday..

Each monday i will arrive at work feeling awake...but once u start working, the eyelids start to fall...and the yawns start...hahaha...even though weekend is for ppl to rest, but mine iz the opposite...so every monday i will suffer the consequences...today iz no different...at least i think i did some work...the weather iz still terribly hot...i dun feel like walking outside the office building at all...makes my shirt smelly wif sweat...but i dun really like the cafe food either...hahaha...anyhow moving forward, after work i decided to head towards KL Sentral to buy train tickets for my trip back ipoh during deepavali holidays...yes it is juz 3 days of rest but i seriously nid it i think...kinda like a pit stop...as the end of the year approaches, yur motivation span tends to shorten...n u wont feel like doing much...hahaha...or perhaps it iz juz me...i think it iz like the last paper of the final semester exam...compared wif the earlier papers u wont study as much for it...while in the exam hall u juz hope everything will pass quickly n smoothly....majority will b already dreaming bout their holiday plans...last time at UKM i actually saw a student carry her luggage to the exam hall...anyway back to the train trip ^^...i bought ETS tickets and it costs rm30 per trip...i think it iz worth the trip back ipoh coz the time iz right for me, 6:48pm...no nid rush from office...and will reach b4 9...so can still hav supper wif family and straight yumcha wif frens till wee hours of the morning...tis would be my fifth or sixth time...haha...the air-cond iz good and the sits r new...so...i consider it a small indulgence...kinda like going to Chili's once in a while hahaha...now that the tickets r sitting nicely in my drawer...my motivation span shortens even more...counting the days till 4th November~

End of the weekends

Ahh....the end of the weekends...one of the most dreaded moments in the week..but all things must come to an end be it good or bad...the day was spent idling around due to the muscle pain of the exercise yesterday and also the sleep debt incurred throughout the week...woke up early to breakfast and a session of Modern Warfare 2...to those uninformed, it iz a rather realistic shooting game...where u can throw knives to kill ppl like wat u see from a certain action flick more than a month ago...then juz went for lunch and back home...suddenly the unexpected happened...it actually rained for a bit...finally a brief escape from the scorching heat...how do u take full advantage of the situation? by catching up with my sleep...hahaha...even after i wake up, i dun really feel like doing anything...it was so comfortable...after tat got caught up in msn chatting n watching anime...ahh if onli days like these last forever...as i said before...i m a simple person...easy to make me happy one...make me satisfy different case though hahaha...anyway after tat there iz nothing i havent mentioned in the post yesterday...and there u hav it...a typical weekend in my life...might b boring to some...but i dun dare wish for more aledi....many things happened...out of all the lessons, i would say i learnt to b content wif wat tat iz available...though by no means i should b satisfied with it...as greed iz wat drives humanity to greater heights...improvement in quality of life...i m sure some of u would say fight for it...dun take things lying down...but occasionally u grow tired...or perhaps it really iz unbeatable...or a better question would be...why do i subject myself to such hardship? izzit worth it? wen the answer comes out as a 'No'...then tatz the time to drop the axe and think of another way...else u wud juz b wasting yur time, energy and mayb even blister yur own hand...in other words, u might get hurt...i know far too well tat wen ppl sacrifice a lot for one thing, giving up on it iz hard...it would b a 'waste'...u would keep thinking 'mayb it will change'...'mayb it will get better'....'wait longer a bit lo'....wen finally...all options r closed...then the aftermath would be disastrous...first u would b rolling on the ground disappointed...then u would b full of regret as to why u nvr see it coming in the first place..tatz why 'Friends' are important....ppl who knows of yur situation n cares for u enough would slap u till u wake up....hahaha...hmm...long time nvr went the philosophical route...but i guess tis kind of stuff iz wat all of u r waiting for eh? my daily routines muz b boring T_T...nitez everybody...

Saturday~~

What is a better way to end a good saturday than blogging about it?...erm actually there iz but give face la hahaha...still contemplating the indo mee double...mmmm...though it would negate the calories burnt this morning, the muscles built still remain right?? hahaha...tis morning woke up 7.45...though i slept at 3 the night b4, my body clock will kick start my systems around tat time...so wash up n go exercise lo...after an exhausting hour ++ of jogging n stuff, i came back satisfied...found some time to chat and left to do chores, take a bath and lunch....head back home n watched anime for a bit then came the pleasure of sleeping...though the weather iz hot, but juz the feeling of lying down wen yur whole body aches iz awesome...once the head landed on the pillow, the onli movement i can do iz roll left or right...sitting up was out of the question...i was sleepy, tired n full...woke up around an hour later wif my neck sweating...most of the time i cant sleep more than tat anyway....did some chores, bath again n dota/watch anime...life seems so meaningful now...hahaha...u may not understand tis, but after 5 days of being cubicled (iz tat a word? o_O) and stressed out, being able to do wat i want, wen i want, how i want iz heavenly...my time is used perfectly...best part was...the day haven't ended yet!!!...went dinner n ordered fatty pork using exercise as an excuse hahaha...reached home n spent time chatting n watching tv...yes la...the joy of doing pointless things...how i miss them...finally it iz already 10...time to start up dota again...some of the earlier matches ended wif defeat so was aiming to hav a convincing victory..joined a game n the host said 2v2...why not? n how epic was the battle...till now the sweet feeling of being unbeatable still swirls within me...though i still can improve (by a lot actually =_=), i m juz glad i havent lost my touch completely...well wen u dun really hav much, a victory in dota will make my day..at least will occupy me for a bit hahaha...ahh...n now i m here...n my stomach's growling...hmmm...no point ending such a beautiful day by sleeping on an empty stomach right? hehehe....guess i shud go for a midnight stroll...like how i used to do it in UKM...kinda dangerous here but...there r times wen u juz hav to toss caution to the wind right? especially for such a 'righteous cause'...FOOD HERE I COME!!!!

And the weekends are here...

I seriously am pushing myself to the limits here...itz 2.20am and i m here chatting wif a fren asking me for opinions on trying to start a life in an unknown land called KL. Indeed it iz a terrifying endeavour for us Ipoh ppl who hav nvr lived the big city life...so many things to consider, so many things to plan...so many changes to adapt to...i dun think itz easy..especially wen u try to do it alone..well which young adult does not want a shot at a better life? In Ipoh, the jobs does not pay as well and u see the news, u see the ppl, everything iz happening in KL...well itz the capital of Malaysia so there's gotta be plenty of chances for everyone to succeed...i do support that thinking..but i dun think juz about anyone can rely on those success stories of heading to the city wif nothing but a few hundred bucks and some clothes...nid proper planning de...else going to suffer...hahaha...u got nobody to rely on...perhaps a fren or 2...but yur family aint here...any problem, u face it...nobody to give advice...nobody to take care of u wen u r sick etc...well those r worst case scenario la...if u r setting out wif a group of frens for better or for worst then wouldnt be too bad ^^...if nvr quarrel la...hahaha ok lo beh tahan...approaching 3...tis post took me almost an hour coz i was bz chatting...

This is suicide final episode

Finally the *ahem* almost-suicidal days r coming to an end...sumhow i managed to pass each day without any major incidents...but wen friday comes, there is no more need to worry as saturday is here...can sleep however much i want...well my day today iz rather bland n i dun intend to start any major discussions wif my eyelids drooping...recently i hav been listening to Linkin Park's new album (Thousand Suns) at work...at first i didnt like it, due to a significant change in the way they present the songs...instead of the shouting days of Numb and In The End, u get more mellow tunes in Burning in the Skies and Robot Boy...mayb it iz to suit the theme of their lyrics..some of them r rather dark i guess...not to say depressing la...but i could relate to it...and the tunes r occasionally catchy...in a way it gets stuck in yur head...oh yeah since we got started in songs, juz earlier had a small chat wif an office colleague bout song interests...recently i havent exactly downloaded a lot of songs...but if i keep on randomly downloading, my hard disk will be full...and i dun really wan to go through the trouble of listening to each song n thinking which i will listen or wan to keep...i know each week there r new songs coming out for different languages...tis week mayb new English album, the next Japanese etc...i feel that i hav dropped a lot of my uni interests or habits..for one i dun really look for nice wallpapers anymore...perhaps my priorities changed...well it does happen frequently as u progress through the multiple stages of life...anyhow i think this should be it...2molo will b the finale and after tat the weekends...watz after tat? I repeat the process ALL OVER AGAIN...like one of the lyrics in Thousand Suns - the hardest part of ending is starting again~

This is suicide part 2

Finished weekly status meeting at 10.15, reached home, took bath, 10.50...surfed net...logged in garena n started playing at 11.35...now itz 12.30...apparently i m a masochist...err..scratch tat...letz put it tis way...i m a person tat likes to challenge my own personal limits...haha tat sounds much better...my eyes r blurry but at least my head not heavy like yesterday...got lucky yesterday n managed to sleep 7 hours...as for tonight though...doesnt look too good..haha dota nvr left my life...there was modern warfare 2, and then there was Starcraft 2...i even entered a competition for that...managed to reach quarterfinal by playing pure in a cybercafe...not bad compared to those professionals who train everyday at HOME...but in the end i came back to dota...the game was there for better or for worst...nvr fails to entertain me...especially so wen there r frens to play wif...recently started playing wif my colleagues...the daily routine doesnt seem so bad now since we chat wat happened in the previous games..as long as i dun get banned from chatting in the intranet hahaha...ok la...tis iz juz a spam post for those ppl who follow my blog...I WILL POST EVERYDAY.

This is suicide....

Even though suffering from a severe lack of sleep i still refuse to sleep...the urge to blog once more comes to nag me...and as u can see, i hav been playing wif the layout of the blog...if my head was a bit clearer i would hav explore more...but it would be a better choice to spend the last of my energy on a post...hahaha...my sleep debt steadily increases...anyway i m sure all of u hav noticed, the weather iz VERY hot nowadays...it does not help that my room is one of those spare rooms near the kitchen with an INDOOR window...tat means poor air circulation...the mosquitoes are back in full force...juz yesterday i was part of an involuntary blood donation campaign...and itz the first time i had to use the electric insect repellent device after staying here for more than a year...if u think things wont get worst, haha u thought wrong. My job is a demanding one...requires full concentration and utilizes a lot of thinking power to go through my daily responsibilities...it also strains my eyes terribly...or perhaps itz juz me...i wouldnt know...the way i see it, my colleagues are superhuman...to go through every line, to think of all possible results or methods...and to perform tasks with minimal or if possible, zero errors...i m actually risking my neck here by divulging all this but i nvr said wat i m working as explicitly nor did i mention where i am working...so shud b fine...if u r wondering, yes, the company goes through facebook, youtube and any public opinion outlets to identify anyone trying to smear itz reputation...well i guess tat iz standard practice for companies with tat kind of resource...anyway i think i shud log off now...12:10am...2molo got meeting summore...yes...tis is mental suicide...my brains would b toast but my body still active...hahaha

Almost 1 year later...

Here i am once again...almost 1 year later from my last post...guess my days of blogging are really over...or i juz dun wan to get back into the mood anymore...though oftentimes u can find the effects of blogging really helps u get through the darkest patches of yur life...especially wen u cant talk to anyone or wen ppl juz dun understand u...to me a blog really acts like a diary...all my inner thoughts and emotions r poured into it...rather different from most ppl ^^...i m not implying anything here but guess i m kinda old fashioned in this case...i am traditional in a lot of other aspects of life...not necessarily a bad thing...double-edged sword i would say...anyway back to wat tat has been happening in my life so far...i m still working in the same company since my last blog entry ^^...a rather successful endeavour if i may say so myself...here i learnt a lot of things about the corporate life...i m still not tat good at handling it juz yet, but i m VERY different from the guy u knew a year ago...not onli tat, i gained weight...it is saddening but i am now barely a shadow of the super runner with messy hair...i cant even run 3km...well my toe was injured but tat cannot be an excuse!!...and i am straying away from topic again =_=....and since i m still working at the same company, i am still staying at the same house...hahaha...well nothing has really changed in this aspect of my life...social life to b precise...i still occasionally wander off to the cc and stare at ppl playing...hav dinner on my own most of the time...other than tat, stuck in my room facebook/msn or anime marathon...seriously there iz barely any change from my days in ukm...in fact it might hav gotten worst...no i dun plan to elaborate on it as it may be too depressing for everyone...i think tatz the problem wif my blog....first of all itz all dark n gloomy wif few pictures...then my posts may point towards the dark side...well like i said earlier, itz my diary...however tis diary iz not tat personal anymore...as i did a seriously bad mistake...might elaborate more on it wen the time comes...if i still remember...a better question would be if i will post another entry ><...however, blogging iz addicting...i m sure some ppl who hav read my posts since Friendster blog days would know that i was once addicted to it...well i guess most of u here wouldnt know bout it now would u? go read it wen u got the time...i duno if it iz still there or not..i m not ashamed bout the events there anymore....those were events 4-5 years ago...but hey...if u do, u might find some similarities with this blog here...yeah itz set in the same gloomy tone...but at least the background is bright~~ was it? anyhow tatz all for my status update tis time...but there iz no way u can squeeze 10 months of events into one post now iz there...mmmm....mayb i will continue 2molo....