Diet plan A and me

Refusing to give up thinking of a meaningful title and yet too lazy to actually give a damn, I came up with Diet plan A. Today's blog post will be a bit more focused on the changes that I will make in my diet to further enhance my weight loss if there are any in the first place. If the weighing machine tells no lies, I have not lost or gain anything for the last 2-3 months. To tip the scales I have decided to try eating a heavier breakfast without carbohydrates. Taking inspiration from my recent holiday in Ipoh, I will invest in some cheap cooking utensils to at least prepare hard-boiled eggs as breakfast. Currently I only drink a big glass of chocolate milk before heading to work and then will proceed to munch on high-fibre biscuits around 11 before eating lunch around 12.30. I don't think the intake is heavy but perhaps just a glass of milk is not enough to kick start my metabolism for the day.

Another change I want to attempt is having my dinner earlier. A simple search online reveals many contradicting reports but perhaps the miracle of me maintaining my weight throughout CNY with only 15 minutes of stretching each morning is related to early dinner. Or perhaps it is due to the stretching done in the morning instead? Perhaps I need to include that in my plans. But I hate to be sweaty early in the morning when I am still drowsy and half awake. I get excited over things like this easily because I cannot wait to see if there will be positive progress. Furthermore the constant bombardment of male Korean idols have left me unsatisfied with my current condition. Gone are the days of Western muscular adoration. Why be big and intimidating when you can be cool and awesome? I am not working out to be a bouncer, I am working out to feel good about myself and be healthy.

A quick glance throughout my day today reveals nothing else interesting happened. Nothing much happen at work except for some random rants. Tomorrow will be the first time a new weekly meeting activity will be held to discuss current happenings with our superiors. Maybe it is something to look out for? I dare say I will go in with my gun fully loaded but after a short discussion, seems like it is not wise to go in full power right now. First of all, it is simply the first meeting. Secondly, I guess I shouldn't create an aura of rebellion especially after the public declaration by a fellow colleague about our pay. It is a tricky situation but I guess I should just wait and see how it goes. I should never miss a chance to display my creativity and spunk but I do not know if I might be being too aggressive about it.

Tomorrow will also be badminton night and it is rumored that we will have a small gathering and toss 'yu sang' during dinner. Hopefully it will be enjoyable. I am actually very unhappy with the Internet line in my room. Maybe it has always been weak and slow but I hate it when my downloads come up with errors. Well, I can't afford Unifi so this is the best I will get for the price I am paying. Internet has been such an important aspect of my life. Or I should say 'connectivity'. Some nights I never even have 1 proper conversation on MSN and yet I still log in automatically. Feels weird not logging in. Anyway, that is all from me, so take care and enjoy Wednesday!!!

Holiday blues and me

Now that the holidays are officially over, I guess I am still stuck in holiday mood. The mundane daily routine seems to be very boring now. I hate spending the night in my room. I just want to laze around on the couch, with my laptop nearby while the TV is left on. Nowadays the living room is always occupied. I just want to relax and unwind by watching some funny shows or documentaries or something. Yet here I am staring at the screen with my Facebook on and Korean songs playing. I guess the feel is very much less know especially after experiencing full HD goodness back home. It is almost the same feeling when you went for a vacation on a beautiful land only to come back to an inferior or bland place. Once you have experienced something better, anything less is harder to accept.

I think I am going to keep this blog post short as well. Seems like material is getting less or perhaps I am getting bored of coming up with interesting post titles. One day I am going to bump into the exact same title since there are only so many words I know that can describe my day. But purely using the date is bad for readers because there are no indications of what the post may contain. Nothing much happened at work today. Except for numerous complaints about lack of early salary or bonus. For me, that much is to be expected. I think after working for quite some time in the company, we should learn and know what the management style is already. Hoping that they will change is like hoping that you will strike lottery. The chance is always there only that it is absurdly small.

Many things will change this year. Maybe the office will get a new colleague or two. Or perhaps some will consider leaving? We may never know considering that people nowadays are getting better at hiding their intentions. I for one will stay and observe a bit longer. The lure of money is still not strong enough to separate me from freedom at work and almost zero transportation issues. On the other hand, I managed to get confirmation about my friend from Ipoh moving up to KL later around March. Hopefully with finally a close contact around, my life here will be a bit different. But since I have already been living like this for 2 years, I guess you can say I might have adapted to it so well I don't really care anymore.

During work, in conjunction with the changes in 2012 theme, I finally decided I will cut my hair within 1 year's time. Sure having long hair is awesome and builds character but I guess it is about time for me to style it properly. I will leave it to the stylist to decide if I should keep long hair or cut it short. I mean come on, look at all the Korean superstars. Even the female idols are cutting their hair short and damn they look awesome. My motivation to look better physically burns as bright as the sun now. My legs also hurt like crap now. I guess I overdid the stretching yesterday and I pressed on with the running. I might limp around tomorrow. No pain no gain some might say. Hopefully this pain is not too much for my body. I myself can bear it no problem. But what is the point of exercising at the cost of my health?

Without noticing I have managed to come up with enough content to call this a proper King Wai level blog post. Surprisingly all this came up within 30 minutes instead of the usual 1-2 hour long dawdling. Maybe I am seriously bored and my brain juice is simply itching to flow out. Anyway I have stated my complaints for the day and might as well hope that Chor 9 of the 2012 CNY will bring surprising, happy and fun events to everyone. Even now the firecrackers are still being launched into the air. Now how am I supposed to get rid of holiday mood?

Holidays and me

Finally I am back after almost a week long hiatus. Been busy with eating, gambling, gaming and eating. Anyway I am still suffering from holiday blues so I will keep the post today short and sweet as well. I am sure all of you do not want to crawl back to work tomorrow. Especially on a Monday. To those who started work earlier, my utmost respects to all of you. I hope I do not need to learn how to deal with a similar situation anytime soon. First of all, I am surprised to see my body been holding up rather well under the constant food binge. Of course I am rather sluggish and stiff now but after weighing myself, I am still the same. Or the damn thing broke. Anyway here is the promised monthly picture of my progress.






The picture on the left is last month while the picture on the right is current view. Not much progress but my motivation is stronger than ever. I am still quite overweight and there is much work to be done. Let's hope this month will be more fruitful.

During the CNY holidays, I have taken a step forward in some of my new year resolutions. I finally cleaned my Facebook friend list. People that hate my guts and those silent viewers are deleted. I still retain a vast majority of friends if you are wondering. However, I did delete all existence of the first girl I like from my life. No Facebook, MSN, coin in necklace or contact number anymore. I have still yet to make significant progress in learning how to shuffle or learning Korean. I did learn simple stepping and certain terms in Korean. Does that count? Anyway I hope you all enjoy this short post. Take care and try to enjoy Monday!!!

Missed post

I missed a post yesterday. It was a fun ride lasting more than a month with this daily posts. But I am not really in the mood to blog much during this festive season when there are more important things to do. Such as eating. Gambling. Reunions. You know the drill. However my blog is still getting some hits from those backdoor links. I guess every blog have a lot of this stuff. Anyway, break time is over. I need to get back into the fray. Take care and enjoy the next day!!!

Second Day of CNY 2012

After staying up for the whole night and finally going to sleep at 8.30am, I am quite blur most of the day. Not as young as I used to be. Trust me, watching Korean MV and shows in HD makes time pass very fast. I am not sure what time I will be sleeping tonight. Anyway take care everyone and enjoy Tuesday~!!!

HAPPY CHINESE NEW YEAR 2012

HAPPY CHINESE NEW YEAR 2012!!! Enough said.

Shopping and me

Second day in Ipoh and I think it is still awesome so far. Most of today was spent shopping for last minute supplies and also something special for myself. I make it a point to spend money on myself annually. First year it was PS3 and a personal laptop. I will try to upload photos as soon as possible. It is a fun gadget for me. However during shopping today, I think it is the first time I find myself being irritated at the crowd. Maybe I am still tired but I really wasn't in the mood to actually walk around. When I feel cranky, minor irritants become a huge issue for me and without proper control I might explode in a regrettable outburst. I don't really like people that mindlessly walk around slowly, tinkering with their phones and blocking my way. If they need to talk or interact with their phones, why can't they step aside for a minute?

Currently I am suffering from a slight sore throat and I hope it will not get any worst. Tomorrow is Chinese New Year eve and there is still much more errands to run. I was actually due for a yumcha session today but due to some miscommunication with my friends it didn't go through. I think it is common for this stuff to happen around here. Somehow they are more laid back about things like this. I do admit I am not as close to them nowadays either due to me complaining about the late night outings. Well if it is not reasonable, I won't bend backwards anymore. This is all I guess. I can't afford to spend so much time writing. Take care and enjoy Sunday!!

Trips and posers

I am going to keep this short due to the limited amount of Internet time I have at Ipoh. Yes, I am already at Ipoh. The trip today was very very tiring. But I guess it is common when you are travelling so close to Chinese New Year. Earlier I went to the pasar malam or night market near my house in Ipoh after such a long hiatus. The weather was very kind to me and it was great to see everything so familiar and yet so refreshing. As I take in the sights, I notice there were a lot of males walking around with jacket, accessories and idol hairstyle. To me I think it is a bit too much for the pasar malam. I guess everyone goes through that phase. When we are still unsure of ourselves, we try to stand out and we try to imitate what we think is cool. As we grow up, I think our dress sense becomes more sensible too. Appearances are not everything and tastes change as time passes by.

Anyway the girls still look awesome though they are much too young for me now. In the future all of them will be 'exported' elsewhere. But I still pay more attention to the girl in a dirty shirt helping her mother tending the store instead of the hot chick in spaghetti strap top. I guess I appreciate a capable person much more than someone that looks capable only. Perhaps it is another way of me showing my support of the 'do not judge by looks' principle. I am not handsome. But that doesn't mean I cannot take care of you. Judge me only when you know me enough. That's it for today then. I need to help my parents to clean up the house tomorrow. Take care and enjoy Saturday!!!

Wishes and thoughts

Today yet another small wish came through surprisingly. A few days ago, me and my colleagues had lunch at 1-Utama and we happen upon a brochure promoting a restaurant. Among the items promoted, only 1 caught my eye which is the Southwestern Chilli Pasta. A long time ago I used to eat chilli pasta rather frequently in a restaurant back in Ipoh but it has since closed down when I am in secondary school. After almost 10 years I thought it would be great to taste it again. Somehow we ended up at 1-Utama again today and I ended up ordering it. I guess it is the best lunch to celebrate the coming Chinese New Year even though it was rather costly. The rest of the day at office ended uneventfully as most of us are really in the holiday mood. Personally, I was only waiting for time to pass while fiddling with my current project.

However, today I manage to come up with some rather interesting topics. I guess it is another wish come through since I was complaining about the lack of it yesterday. As I plough through the numerous Korean music videos daily in Youtube there will surely be a lot of 'What If' thoughts. I guess as a single male, what I yearn for is someone to chase and that is why I am always observing people around me. This is such a strong feeling that some people can never get enough of it. I am sure some of you have heard people addicted to the 'thrill of the chase'. They are not really in love with you but they just enjoy the courting process. In a loose sense, males are more or less wired to care for the opposite sex while females like the attention in different ways. Some females like to be protected, some just like the companionship while some likes a rival of some sort.

This concept have been explored in numerous dramas and movies but I guess few have really thought about it in our reality. I can say I have honestly been in love with a person in my social circle before but I guess it worked out for the best as I am still not prepared at that time. I wouldn't say I am prepared now but it should be better than previously. It is rather naive to think that I would be successful in my first relationship. Of course I hope that I will not waste my partner's time, energy and feelings. But perhaps this fear of not being able to deliver, causing another person great sadness that prevents me the most from casually entering a relationship. It is a good and bad thing. Well, I think it would be best when I am very sure of my feelings.

Earlier I managed to catch the last episode of a Korean drama on Astro. Thankfully it concluded today because my house in Ipoh do not have Astro and only very limited internet access. I could not download the episode even if I found it. Anyway it was a happy ending but a certain aspect of it is very meaningful. The female character gave the male lead a key necklace towards the end and I think it is a powerful symbol. Instead of a ring or anything of that sort, a key shows she trusts him with all her heart. In return, the male lead must fulfil his promise which he does with much gusto. A simple gesture may mean a lot to another and it is seldom to see a female to take the initiative. Well this highlights the fact that communication is very important. The male lead has no hesitation left and proposed properly to which the female accepts.

Tonight is the night before I head back to Ipoh for a 9 day break. Feels rather good knowing that work is over and I can just idle around. However, I need to wake up around 7 tomorrow either way so I need to sleep soon. It is actually much more earlier than the usual time. I can only hope that public transport won't be as packed due to it being a Friday and so close to Chinese New Year. I am still rather worried about the amount of weight I will pack on. I have been observing my reflection on the glass door and obviously there are still major work to be done. Well, I can't rush this kind of things. I am not so sure if I could blog daily during the Chinese New Year either. I can only try my best. Take care and enjoy Friday!!!

What is cute?

Badminton earlier was a bit different to me. First of all, I think I have played a lot but my body feels otherwise. I mean my shirt is kinda wet but I do not feel that tired. Maybe I didn't play that much after all. Well it is a good break for my body then. Badminton is oftentimes a casual sport considering the environment I play in as well as my own mindset. Playing for victory all the time is stressful and sometimes even unhealthy for friendships and rivalries. If the ball is too hard to save, I just let it go. It is more fun to be doing what you like best. Sometimes I attempt trick shots and even though I lost the game, I still gain valuable experience. Furthermore it is not possible to achieve improvement in the game when I only play once a week. However, it doesn't seem like some of us think the same way so I will try my best nonetheless.

Though this time around I think it was the first time I partnered with a girl I had my eyes on for a while. I wouldn't say I am interested in having a relationship with her I think but she does attract my curiosity. From the weird way of her serving to the various reactions she gives during a game, I find her a joy to observe. I don't feel she is over-doing it. Maybe I am biased I am not so sure myself. She is not exactly pretty and she is kinda petite. Perhaps it is just a little sister complex I developed. Well it sounds creepy but I never actually cared for a female for real before. More like I never had the chance. I grew up with my brother and grew up in an all-boys school. First encounter with females was during tuition and later when I reach form 6. Most of the girls I meet are either quiet or tomboyish. I never knew really 'feminine' girls until I was much older.

Speaking of reactions, this would inevitably lead to my opinion on people who act cute. I can never really pinpoint why some people can act cute and we find it attractive while others we simply want to punch the person. It just seems so wrong sometimes. I think only qualified psychologists could even hope to come up with some kind of valid explanation. But for me, personally, I think it is easy to see if it is natural or not. Some people are obviously over-doing it and it becomes annoying I think. Another reason I could think of is perhaps facial features? I mean someone with a pleasant smile already looks cute naturally? I do not mean this as an insult, but I myself do not have a good smile either so I guess physical features do play a role in this matter.

Most guys typically enjoy the presence of a girl that can act cute properly since it is rather amusing at times. Some might even find it comforting. So I would say it is a very useful skill for a female to have. But do bear in mind that what guys find amusing or attractive may not be what that is expected from a partner. Not all guys are built the same with the same tastes in women so I cannot really provide a general statement accurately. Even though it is easier for a guy to misunderstand a girl's behaviour, attitude or reaction, the same may happen vice-versa as well. The things that happen in dramas that we watch actually is based on reality to a certain extent. Furthermore, there is no telling what will happen in life. Whatever scenario that we humans can think of, there is still a slim chance of it happening.

Somehow I actually managed to complete this blog post without cutting it short. Recently it really has been boring. I doubt I have everything figured out already but when nothing happens, it is hard for me to get philosophical. I am not asking for bad things to happen to me because I can talk about good stuff too. Maybe I will need to dig into my past soon enough but I think being able to avoid it is a good sign. Means I am living for the future instead of always thinking about the past. That is how it should be right? Take care and enjoy Thursday!!

Work and me

3 more days until I go back Ipoh I thought to myself as I crawl out of my bed. Even stretching my body hurts due to my rather brutal methods of exercising. And yet somehow in one way or the other, I will get the motivation to persevere and see that I try to stick to the schedule closest possible. I guess the 8-9 months of exercising last year helped to establish a strong base and thus my body is still holding out. I am only worried about the long-term effects that may not be felt or seen now. For example, I wonder if the constant running on the pavement will destroy my knees eventually. Anyway I went along with my plans today and I bumped into the 2 ladies that I described yesterday. However, thanks to the constant exposure to the Korean Wave, it is not as exciting anymore. Guess I prefer watching girls with their personalities than random chicks along the road.

Anyway thinking along with my workout plans, I never really thought about what I will do when I reach my target level of fitness. I am not sure if I will be continuing the same level of intensity. Furthermore, there is no telling if I will have the same amount of freedom in the future as my career hopefully progresses. I don't really know if slacking a bit will let me maintain this level of muscle tone or not. Can I go back to eating more once my diet is over? Well this is the problem with planning without real knowledge or experience. Currently I am just going about with whatever feels correct based on what I read online as well. I think that is the most important point because not all human bodies are built the same. So, listening to my body and observing the changes is the best way for free right now.

Holy crap I am laughing so hard watching variety shows on Astro now. It is actually pretty refreshing to blog outside of my room with a TV in front of me. I think this post is going to take at least 2 hours to finish. Anyway I was planning to talk about my work pointless it may be. Due to the impending Chinese New Year holidays, the office have been rather quiet and everyone is kind of relaxed. Well actually I think I am the most relaxed there since I finished my tasks early. It is actually rather awkward to be there when 2 other colleagues beside me is working while I am slacking off. Honestly, I myself don't feel right though I bet a lot of people might say otherwise. What would you have done? I cannot exactly bring myself to learn something or explore certain things randomly. I also do not like things halfway.

I guess thankfully, I was given a project later in the day based on an idea quite some time ago. I like doing new things rather than doing maintenance work or debugging. Most developers will agree on the same thing. Though I have heard some that actually like doing testing work. Anyway, I guess this is the main reason why I chose to join this part of the IT industry instead of sticking with application development. It is far more dynamic and provides more market value in the long run. This company is awesome too since they actually listen to employee ideas and sometimes they do get the green light as a new project. Though I cannot judge accurately yet because it has not even been 1 year since I started working there. Now everyone is awaiting news of possible increment or bonus. I guess that is typical for all chinese employees considering the time of the year.

Somehow I manage to wrap this up before it got too late. I am running out of things to say anyway. Can't wait for the Chinese New Year holidays to arrive. Even though Ipoh celebrations are rather conservative and quiet, but the very fact that it will be a holiday is already good enough for me. I just want to lie around and do whatever I want whenever I want to. There are already invitations for reunion events among friends though I seriously wonder how many of them I can actually attend. I do not have transport in Ipoh. Enough of my banter, take care and enjoy Wednesday!!!

One after another

My shoulders are still sore, my arms are stiff and my legs are weak but today has been yet another great day. Before I get ahead of myself, I guess I should just be content with the things that happened instead of making assumptions and spoiling everything. Yesterday I blogged about how small innocent wishes do come true sometimes. Today another small but not as innocent wish came true. As I was doing my rounds during exercise today, I was staggering up a slope and my thoughts were wandering around. Just like any other young healthy male, I was thinking how nice it would be if there was eye candy. A car came in the opposite direction, parked and out came a hot chick. Granted I wasn't wearing my spectacles, my sight is not that bad yet and I was just laughing at the sheer coincidence. 2 rounds later, another female I have never seen before was running too. And that my dear readers, was the highlight of my day.

Being an otaku and having been hit by the Korean Wave, you would say that my expectations of a female is what people call absurd. And yet a girl with a healthy figure was running in front of me, hair jet black, tied up in a pony tail and it was almost waist length. I do not care about her facial features or her personality, because to simply spot a girl with almost everything I could ever wish for was totally impossible until now. And she was exercising. How many pretty girls that you know actually bothered to run at the park and not hit some high class gym? How many pretty girls actually exercised instead of relying on dieting? You can say maybe because she was forced to run at the park at gunpoint but I do not care. This chance encounter alone has totally re-spark my hopes of actually finding a girl that I will truly cherish within my lifetime. No, I didn't get her number or her name but I now know that someone like her exists.

The reason why I made such a big fuss about it is because for at least 2 years, I have no interest whatsoever with females that I get to know or see. Perhaps that helped me improve my talking skills because nothing is at stake then. I do not care much about how I end up looking or how they think of me because I think nothing of them outside of acquaintances or friends. Since then, it has become my default stance. Now I do not know if I should even be thankful that I am still single. What would you people do if you saw someone that fits your dreamy description of an ideal partner? Would it be considered wrong if you wish your current partner is like that? Or if you were single you will totally approach the person? Is it human nature? Would you risk a stable relationship? Would you doubt your own feelings? As always, it might not be a good idea to think too hard about all this things.

Oftentimes I think I am a relationship destroyer since I kind of promote all this doubts. I am sure it is karma that I am still single right now. But I think it is a good thing to simply stop and re-evaluate your life right now. Is your partner really the one you want to spend the rest of your life with? To have a family? To go through thick and thin? Or you simply do not want to be alone? This is actually unfair to the other party since the emotion and commitment invested might be different from yours. But I am sure this is something all relationships face. It is very hard to actually confront your partner and ask about the future of the relationship. If you yourself is doubtful, then should you waste time? Especially when a better candidate emerges. Not a random person on the street but someone that managed to get inside your social circle and coincidentally your heart?

As I scroll through my Facebook wall, I tend to see more and more people getting married or congratulating another person for it. I am not saying that I envy them, in fact I honestly think I am far too young to get married. I am not exactly in a rush to make babies either. Well, I guess we can never predict how other people will think. Marriage is a major turning point in life. Your priorities switch, decisions now involve a significant other and Chinese New Year holidays are never the same ever again. Living together is something new for most couples and hopefully things between them will never change. Lastly, getting married is never a ticket to happiness. Problems that currently exist in your relationship will not disappear just like that. Anyway I think I should stop here before I offend more people. Take care and enjoy Tuesday!!

Extra long post

Today I decided to start this blog post extra early to make up for the short post yesterday. I am really sorry but some things happen unexpectedly and I am not one to say no to fun when it comes knocking on my door. But due to yesterday I am more or less exhausted today. As I expected, I cannot stand sleeping late nights anymore due to my very very strict body biological clock. It is not as adaptive as it was so many years ago. However, in the coming Chinese New Year celebrations I need to stay up for 24 hours at least 1 day which is from Eve until the morning of the first day. Well it only comes once a year and I bet it will be lots of fun too. I am more concerned about the amount of weight I will put on and thus the almost obsessive urge to exercise more. Nothing much will change within this 5 days but I guess at least I need to stick with my routine.

Yesterday I think I actually commented about me having the TV to myself and the joy of resting on the couch while channel surfing. Surprisingly, it came true today. Apparently the small innocent wishes that we make will come true. The morning was normal with me going about with my chores and not long after, I left for lunch the same time as my housemate and his brother. When I came back, as expected, his car is still missing. And so, I just switch on the TV and enjoy digesting my food thinking they might come back at any minute. As time rolls by, my guess would be that they went somewhere to hang out. I continued watching TV and instead of lazily lying down, I decided to pump my arms. As I mentioned before, part of my arms are jiggly. And so, I was sweating as I go about some random arm exercises while watching Korean drama and variety shows. Yes the house have Astro. I was very happy that I managed to laugh, sweat and do something beneficial within that time frame.

The first part of my Korean marathon involves a particular Korean drama with a very meaningful picture that is shown during the end credits. It was a piece of paper with the words 'Hope Is Nowhere'. However, the paper was torn at the 'w' and 'h'. So if you would look at it in a different way, it becomes 'Hope Is Now here'. It is a simple play on words but to me it is quite meaningful. Perhaps I over-analyse things again but to me it meant that if we just step back a distance or view things differently, we get different results. It could also mean any problem in life can be solved. Just that the difference between the 2 phrases is so powerful that I can't stop thinking about it. This would serve to be a valuable inspiration to myself when dark times come again. Or hopefully I can use it to inspire other people and help them get through their dark times.

In the Korean drama, there was also mention about a character having dementia. First of all, I didn't know that dementia can be diagnosed correctly. Second, their reactions were very severe and grim. As if they have lost the person already. Though, judging from what is portrayed in the drama, they reactions are rather accurate. Therefore, how can I avoid thinking about my own parents? Will they have the same symptoms? There is no magic cure or a very valid prevention method yet. Mahjong is just a theory though I try to play with my parents as much as possible when my brother is around too. How long do I have until they cannot recognize me anymore? How will I be able to face them then? It is a very very sad thought. How about you readers out there? Have you ever spared a thought? Will you regret not spending time with your parents if something were to happen to them later? I will.

I think this is my problem with daily stuff sometimes as I have a knack for finding a meaning for myself from mundane things. The second part of my Korean marathon involves watching a variety show crew having their year end dinner. They invited all their regular guests as well as some special performers to entertain everyone. As expected, the show hosts were very funny and I find the expressions by the attendees very believable. Well the part that actually brought some meaning to me is during the karaoke and talent contest when the special guest came in. She is one of the hottest solo idols in Korea and everyone was ecstatic. I seriously like how they recorded the reactions when her presence was revealed and also when she chose to perform with one of the show hosts. Majority of the male attendees showed a disappointed face which is exactly what I will show too. She is very young and thus I can only lament my quarter century status. I wished I was part of the dinner seriously.

The more I see and learn about what the world has to offer, what good stuff other people are experiencing, the more I become dissatisfied with what I have now. This can be called borderline greed but I just want to enjoy life with whatever limited time I have. From here, hopefully I get the strength to forge a better path for myself. You can say that all human life follows a destiny and nothing can change it but since it is not proven either, I will not lose hope. At the very least I can say proudly that I tried. I can never forgive myself if I just sat there and accept the fact that I will lead a mediocre life. Sometimes I think that I have changed a lot in these 2-3 years compared with the last 10 years. It is never too late to start living. I can simply say the first 25 years is just training for the real thing. Now is the time to start properly. Hope this will inspire other readers. Thank you for reading and enjoy Monday!!!

Short post

I am really dizzy right now after playing computer games almost 4 hours straight with my housemate and his brother. I didn't expect to play this long and well it sort of spoiled my rest and relax plan today. It was fun nonetheless. Perhaps a good laugh is what I really need. And indeed I laughed a lot. Nothing much happened today as I go about completing my chores and resting myself. It is fun to watch TV once in a while also. It just feels right to lie down on the couch and channel surf. Maybe it is already in the genes of us humans. Today I tried to follow through with my light exercises and I think I better stop completely tomorrow. I will try a new approach on Monday and Tuesday so I should rest up. This way I can rest my fear of overexercising also. I need to accept the fact that this kind of stuff takes time.

However, my friend today actually said I look fat in the picture I posted in this blog. I guess I do. But perception of everyone is different. His words will just serve as motivation for me. My only regret was why didn't I start dieting earlier. I don't really have anything much to show for this coming Chinese New Year. Well there are many 'If's in life and that is how things are. We can never escape the fact that we sometimes do wonder what will happen if we made another choice at a turning point in our life so far. Tomorrow I am going to wake up feeling sluggish and with a headache. My body has a biological alarm clock that is set to 9-10am. Now I can only think, what if I stopped playing earlier? That's it from me and enjoy your Sunday!!!

Personal awareness

As I stood at the front porch feeling the cool night wind blowing, I frantically dry my hair with a towel and I randomly uttered 'How is life? How is work? How is everything?'. Those are not things we ask ourselves daily but I am just there living the moment. I am still healthy, feeling great, enjoying life so far I guess. Perhaps those questions are not to be taken seriously because if we care too much, life becomes calculative and minor details become big issues. As what a colleague pointed out in an article, why do people bother looking at the glass and thinking if it is half full or half empty all the time? Consider the glass already broken and you don't have to care so much anymore but just handle it with care. A day earned is a day gained? Anyway the post today is going to be philosophical so for people who hates it, you have been warned.

First of all, I would like to complain about the fact that I think I am born on the wrong side of the world. As I sit here watching all those award shows, live performances and greet the fans sessions in youtube, I can't believe how much I am missing by sitting here. We need to wait for celebrities and idols to come visit us most of the time before we even catch a glimpse of them. Yet, they have weekly appearances at their home country and awesome concerts to bring in the festivities. Our local celebrations and celebrities pale in comparison. The same can be said for local movies and dramas. Entertainment aside, what about job prospects? Sporting events? City infrastructure? Should we just sit here and be thankful about the fact we do not have wars or natural disasters? We should be thankful all the time but we should also strive to move forward and to be better.

I guess most of us would like to move away and experience life in other places but we are bound by circumstances that surround us. And circumstances have no human values or sense of fairness or compassion. Things happen because they do and so we can only deal with it when it strikes. Of course we can try to prepare as much as possible but that is only for the privileged. Some of us just live day by day, step by step. Just because we do good things doesn't mean we will be blessed with good karma. Just because I exercise, doesn't mean I will not get sick or will not die from health issues. There are not many things in life that is really certain. I can only hope that I can be sure of myself, the things I do and the path I walk. We change as time passes by because we try to adapt though not always in a good way. However, the definition of good or bad depends on the person and the perspective.

Time that has passed can never be experienced again. No matter how hard we try, even if we are still the person from 5 years ago, we cannot say the same for everything else. All the things we miss, it is lost forever. Falling in love now is different from falling in love at form 5. Attending a concert this year will never be the same as attending it last year. Perhaps they will disband next month and I will never see them live ever again. We have many excuses like lack of money, lack of free time but judging by how our society operates, by the time we have enough money and time, we would already be old. Even if you could attend their concert this time, what about the next? Nobody in this world I believe, can actually attend all the concerts of any popular international band. Living with such awareness is very difficult and impractical and that is why I think it is acceptable if people choose to take it lightly.

Perhaps this is why people always say ignorance is bliss. The less you care, the less concerns you have. Are people that live sheltered and comfortable lives really better than us who suffer and aware of reality? Do you want to leave this world without seeing everything the world has to offer? A person who has happiness all his life will never appreciate it until there is sadness. Are we to suffer just so we can attain greater positive emotion? Some people may argue, even if we are aware, even if we are wise beyond our peers, nothing matters because all that awaits is death. And upon death, does leaving a memory, leaving a mark in history really matter? Even if the theory of afterlife is true, do you think being the world's richest/strongest/smartest man mean anything? What we pursue now is for our time being alive only. Think about it. And enjoy Saturday!!!

Arguments and me

Today was a very tiring day. Due to the post-badminton yumcha yesterday, I only reach home around 11:45pm and thus only manage to sleep around 1:45am. This morning while rushing to work, I actually forgot about my water tumbler. It is not something I can simply ignore so I need to travel all the way back home. Best part? I forgot to take my keys from my bag at the office. Luckily the houseowner is still around. As expected, my body screams as I move around today. I honestly wonder if I should rest for tomorrow as well. I am still pretty much unsure if I am harming my body more or pushing it to grow more. Hopefully my body will recover better tonight as I try to finish everything as fast as possible and sleep early. Most of the time that will not be the case though.

Due to my lack of sleep and a bad start towards the day, I have been behaving pretty poorly with people. I seriously have no people skills and I guess I can only blame myself when I really do die alone. I tend to lash out at people over things that usually I can swallow without incident. But do note that those things still cross me the wrong way since I use the word 'swallow'. Simply put, my patience is very very limited. There is no point for me to describe the argument here because the only version you will read is mine and most of the time, it will favour me. Therefore whining is actually pretty pointless in this case but we as humans do enjoy the slight boost when other people agree with our point of view. A lot of people do not get so technical like I do and yes it is a curse I have to live with forever I think.

However, I do wish to highlight one instance in the argument that I find it being repeated over and over again. I know it will be biased but judge for yourself. I hate it when people choose to use the word 'whatever' during an argument. It simply means 'I do not care what you say, you can keep it and I am not listening'. I go into a murderous rampage when I try to explain myself, hoping to resolve this issue in the best way I could think of and the other party totally ignores everything. How obnoxious can you be? Thus why do I care so much about salvaging the situation when you are not even willing to listen and give me a chance? It becomes funny when the opposing party demands an explanation in the first place. Even if you want to stop the argument, I dare say there must be better words to use within the entire English vocabulary.

Perhaps you can call me sensitive but I guess it is an acceptable scenario because to me that word is very rude. It is like a certain four-letter word and the different perception of people towards it. Those who use it a lot simply brush it off while those who never uses it thinks it is highly offending. I guess it must be ridiculous to you that I can swear like a sailor and yet thinks badly of a 'clean' word. That is how I am because to me when you use a normal word in an argument, you clearly mean it and I will assume so as well. I dare say almost all people who use the four-letter word in an argument never takes it seriously except for an outburst of anger. Depending on the scenario, I might even take offence if people ask if I am retarded. Maybe I really am the odd one out here.

I always have a problem with people while chatting through cyberspace. Sometimes it is because I couldn't read the tone correctly and misunderstood the mood as well as the severity of what is being said. Most people simply give up being friends with someone so volatile. I admit that it is and it will be my biggest flaw in the long run. But instant messaging has become such an important part of my life, it is almost impossible to not login into MSN Messenger if available. And I will continue to scare people away. When I start to treat people more like a friend and bring up more issues, stuff like this always happen. Usually I am able to swallow my pride and chat with the person on another day to restore things back to normal. It works most of the time because the person do not want to be perceived as rude. How much longer can I last? How much longer can the people around me last? I guess I will ponder about it on my own through the night. Tomorrow will be Friday and hope you lot will enjoy it!!!

The moon and me

My legs are seriously stiff now. But badminton is awesome. I managed to try out some new stuff. Only some came out pretty well but it is enough to make things enjoyable. I can't say I totally disregard winning or losing especially when it is a close match. I tend to lose myself into the flow of things. But luckily there was no hard feelings. I can feel improvement over there. I can feel my stamina and total strength has increased since last week but as usual cosmetic change remains to be seen. Today I start wondering about the size of my butt. Seems rather big for a person of my stature. Now I am very self-conscious and I find myself glancing at the asses of other people. I am not gay. I like Korean idols. Female. And no, I do not zoom into their asses. Speaking of idols, I am now totally addicted to a song. They deserve their current 'all kill' status by ruling all Korean song charts.

As usual I have the urge to dedicate time to learn the dance steps of the song. Previously it was a part of my plans for last year. To actually learn dancing and perhaps joining those flash mobs for some fun. Hey you can't do stuff like that when you are over 30 right? So it fits right into my to-do list before I am 30. However, I cannot pursue 2 full-time projects and for now I will concentrate on my body first. Maybe I can find some time during the Chinese New Year holidays. Anyway the new song involves shuffling so it is very awesome to see the girls actually shuffle to the tune. And shuffling somehow is the 'IN' thing now. Looks easy to learn but hard to master and harder to impress people with it. Usually people view it as a cross between folk dancing and feet stomping.

Earlier during the yamcha session after badminton I managed to somehow twist the topic of conversation to people, greed, my personal philosophies and my to-do list before I am 30. Well it all started with the amount of money people earn, benefits, workplace environment and stuff. The usual things workers talk and complain about. I tried to make it thought-provoking by adding the weird things people actually work for. However, people might view me as the weird one also. And for all the health and fitness that I promote, I might die earlier than people that never cares. I guess it all comes back to what makes you happy. Just be damn sure that it is what you want and the price to pay is worthwhile. I am pretty happy that I manage to promote the to-do list concept to a friend. It doesn't need to be a very significant activity but just something you find interesting to do while you are capable physically I guess. Like eating raw eggs.

Now, about the moon, if any of you took the time to actually look at it tonight, it is actually a full moon with a very visible afterglow. You don't see that often. A lot of my thoughts, or perhaps the days when I am the most depressed or emotional involves the moon somehow. But that was back during university days. Maybe because I tend to wander around at midnight after some horrible event and I just stare at the moon thinking 'Why?'. Just feels like I can let go now. I do not need to have my guard up all the time. Somehow I miss those days. Maybe because I feel alive? A mixture of intense emotions even though it is negative. Perhaps that is why some people enjoy listening to sad ballads. Perhaps I am feeling rather empty now or I do not really feel anything now. Makes me yearn for karaoke again. Before that, I need to brush up my memorization of lyrics.

Sometimes I wonder what I truly feel about things. There are people who I cannot chat with online but interact just fine face to face. Is it because subconsciously I take a more accommodating stance in real life? Do I really hate or like people? Is my smile fake? Do I really feel that way towards a certain person? When can I feel something so real and so sure that there is no doubt? Even hatred fades with enough time and other positive events. Love also may turn sour. We can never predict circumstances and sometimes even the most perfect preparation will fail. Doesn't mean we shouldn't plan the future but I guess there is no correct answer for this. Everyone's path is different. I guess this is it for now. Take care and enjoy Thursday!!!

Memento and me

Majority of my lower body hurts. Any sudden and intense movement might involve severe cramping and a grown up man whining. Interval training is not to be looked down upon. Today's routine involves running up a slope a few times with short breaks in between. It might be counter-productive to my dreams of having lean calves. But I think eliminating the jiggling comes first. Next target spot would be my triceps. They jiggle too. Okay I will stop with the one-liner style of blogging for now and get back on track to serious business. I have always been holding back my past as an insurance policy against days when I really have nothing to write. But nowadays I find myself exposing everything about me to everyone. Somehow it becomes related and perhaps I even feel proud about it but honestly I am ashamed of myself. This should not continue.

However the topic of the day would only graze my past a bit as I intend to open it up as a discussion for everyone. How do you generally keep memories of events, people or sights? Usually people would say by taking pictures. It is true a picture speak a thousand words as it could trigger a flood of related memories simply by looking at one in the album. Furthermore with the current technology, it can now be stored forever in digital form. I understand that most people will only choose to keep pictures of happy memories. So I will tackle it from there. Does going through a photo album produce a sense of longing? Will you miss the person? Will you miss the events and the sights? How many of you wish you could experience it again? This can be viewed both ways. Negatively, it may trigger you to feel unsatisfied with your current life and start feeling depressed. Positively, you would want to revisit the experience somehow which may include getting in touch with long lost friends or at least setting a goal.

Another way some people choose to record the events of the day is via a diary. Or in the modern form, by keeping a blog. Much like what I do everyday now. Some dedicated people include photos too to create a more complete picture. There are pros and cons in recording it this way. First of all, it will be a personal account on whatever that has happened especially when you write in a diary. However, people generally do not read their diaries often. And diaries are not meant to be shared, unlike pictures. But it is way easier to track your own development by reading a diary. You can get a clear grasp of your way of thinking at that time and most people would find their younger selves foolish and naive. I personally can't stand reading my own posts during my university days. Lastly it is always at a risk of being exposed and usually it follows with severe depression or embarrassment of the owner.

Next, this method is a bit more extreme but some people find it acceptable. There are people who get a tattoo to serve as a rather permanent reminder of something that is very important. The obvious cons would be the health risks associated with tattooing, the public, friends and family's perception of tattoos and the issue with it being quite permanent. You can't change it easily, you can't erase it and that specific part of your body will forever be changed. Well this point means nothing to people that support body modification such as piercings. And I know some tattoos can be well hidden so that point might be weak as well. The pros though would be that it shows how highly you think of the subject of your tattoo. And to others it means almost literally an eternal commitment since a quality tattoo doesn't really wear off. Personally, I don't quite get it but I do accept it if people do it as body art instead.

While writing this post, not only did I manage to analyse my own thinking but also to come up with a realization. I wish to thank someone that actually spent time to argue with me without giving up. I wouldn't have continued pursuing this particular topic otherwise. Anyway, I keep my memories mostly via blogging. But I remind myself of my promises via the necklace, the ring and the coin. I used to wear a ring on my finger and a bracelet too. The necklace to remind myself of a good friend that died young, the ring as a guide to how I would treat others and the coin as a memory of being penniless and simply being not good enough for people. Maybe one day I will remove the coin. The ring actually comes in a pair though and can be regarded as family heirloom I guess. The one I am wearing is the female half. Snicker as you may, corny I may sound, I have blogged too much. Take care and enjoy Wednesday!!!

Workout free post

I think I will stop talking about my exercise routine, how I did and what I will do next. Maybe I talk too much about it. Anyway there isn't much going on in my life currently and thus it actually defaults to the only thing I most commonly talk about. Furthermore it is something that I am really looking forward to. It might even be a declaration that I can't wait to be awesome. However I do understand that being fit and muscular is not everything in being a person, son, friend and hopefully partner in the future. I think I spend almost 1 paragraph talking about not talking about my exercise routine. Perhaps this particular 'talent' can be honed for a greater purpose? Anyway, today I might talk about my current view on my Facebook 'friends'.

We do not really need friends to continue living but because we are social creatures, we feel better interacting with others. According to studies, it is shown to ward off depression and also improve lifespan. I am not implying that my life was horrible but when interacting with the only people available to you becomes painful, then will it contradict the study? In my hundreds of contacts in Facebook, only less than 20 maintain communications with me. Not counting celebrities or idols that I added, the rest are either quiet, has already blocked/deleted me or are people I do not like. So why the hell do I still keep them in my contact list? That is how I got the idea to do a clean up this coming Chinese New Year.

If we are really friends, then I think we will still remain contact with each other. Else, it was 'nice meeting you'. I am sure some of you do not appreciate me spamming the wall update and those more proactive ones would have just erased me. It is always better to keep a wide contact list because you won't know when you will need the person's help. But if you are only going to approach the person when you need help, there is an upwards of 90% chance that you will be ignored. The only time when you will succeed is when there is a worthy trade. But I am not saying this is the best way to go and I am sure a lot of you are calling me crazy. However, I find myself often reminded of unpleasant memories everytime I see an update by a person I dislike. Why do I continue to abuse myself?

There is no point in clinging to the past and life will still go on. I will only keep contacts that I am interested in receiving updates or to simply chat. The year 2012 will be a year of change and it is time to wash away the stains and try to live with a clean slate. It is never too late to live life I think. I might also clean my phonebook and MSN list. As usual, I cannot control it if people want to think that this is a cry for attention but trust me you don't need to be related to me in any way ever again. Some of you might come back and say what if reality has a weird sense of humour? Then I might as well accept and laugh gracefully. There is no one that important in my list and I am not that important to everyone either.

Now that everything has been said, I think tonight I can actually sleep before 1am. The lack of sleep has been pretty hard on me lately. However, I am given new assignments for work recently and my motivation is once more replenished. I feel the best when I accomplish something so by asking me to perform maintenance or checking for errors, my energy level gets low. Whenever a new project or idea needs to be developed, I am hyper. Feels great to be doing 'nothing much' now. Previously I used to force myself to do something even though I don't feel like it just because I don't want to waste time. Now I feel more peaceful and relaxed. But I really should get started on learning Korean. That's it for now and enjoy Tuesday!!

Taglines and me

Today I started spamming a new tagline that I thought about recently in Facebook. Instead of the usual 'Carpe Diem' which means 'seize the day', I thought, why not straight claim ownership of the day by saying 'the day is mine'. Since I am going to make a random proclamation, why not blow it out of proportion? And true enough the day has been mine. I feel pleased with the way I spend it by doing things at my own pace and my own discretion. No waiting for indecisive or late friends, no random interruptions, no wasted activities. Well at least in my opinion and that is the most important right? Even though I would like to spend time with people I know, doing things we enjoy but if I am left alone, might as well bank on it and make things happen.

Anyway I managed to stick to my exercise schedule and also settle most of my office work. That much is a success already. But now I worry about my workout tomorrow because it will be the first time that I tried to jog without proper full day rest. Yes, at a speed of less than 10km per hour it is actually a jog. I am ashamed. Even though I always claim the exercises I do as light but apparently it falls under the interval training category. I may be stretching it a bit but my heart rate increased a lot and the stretching really creates some strain in my muscles. I feel some aching even now. Upon further reading, it seems that high-intensity interval training is way better at burning fat than jogging for 30 minutes a day. Means I have been doing the wrong thing for 9 months? There are still benefits with jogging which include increased stamina, but I may need to re-think my weekday exercise routine.

After the office work, chores and exercise I was already feeling satisfied accomplishing so many things in a day. Furthermore I think it would be better for my body to rest so I ditched the third round of light exercise and went for a walk to Tropicana mall instead. Just to take in the Chinese New Year feel and also to snoop around to see if there are fitness shops or not. I need a 10kg weight. Once I reach the place, all the decorations are up and the familiar songs are nuking the entire lobby. Feels nice. I promptly move towards the supermarket session to scout for offers and instead I saw someone in God of Prosperity costume. While making my rounds, I saw a pretty girl but each time I try to catch her face to face, something will be blocking the way. Well I wasn't really trying but who could resist having another glance at someone attractive?

This post took me almost 2 hours to complete. I am here chatting, listening to Korean songs, posting in a forum about Korean idols and blogging. Thanks to some unexpected visitors at my place here, the place has gotten a bit cramped and chaotic. Wonder how will I be able to tolerate my children if I do get them in the future. Anyway, the noisy days will be here to stay for a bit so I can only bear with it. Tomorrow will be the start of a new week and a new day. What are your hopes and aspirations? Most people dread Mondays but to me, it isn't really that much different with other days. Maybe because I don't go out much or what I do on weekends is almost the same as weekdays. Which either means my life is very free or I have no friends. Jokes aside, I guess I will be cutting short this post too. Have a great day ahead!!

New routine and me

Note to self, never ever watch the food channel before bedtime. No matter how much I eat a few hours earlier, I am bound to get hungry. Things look just so darn good. Even though I am trying to follow a diet now, I am in essence still a glutton and likes to enjoy a good satisfying meal. And speaking of a feast, the Chinese New Year celebrations are drawing near and most probably I will have my wish granted. I still need to note the amount I eat but simply tasting those awesome food especially those that only emerge once a year is good enough for me. Usually people will say 'Once a year, it is alright to go all out' and dive into it. However, I am not about to let 2-3 weeks worth of effort go to waste. Even though I may be exaggerating but I am very keen on taking a nice picture for next month's fitness post. Previously I mentioned that I will be taking a picture of my figure once every month right?

Today I tried a new exercise routine and ended up getting blisters on both my big toes. Previously I use weekends as the time for my body to rest up and recover but now I am trying to fit in as many light exercise and stretches as possible. This is why I have been taking 30 minute walks around the neighbourhood on a resting weekday as well. Anyway the routine involves a lot of hopping and skipping while swinging your leg around so I guess it has been hard trying to balance myself. The weight of my body is concentrated around my toes and so perhaps the increase in friction caused blisters. Most importantly it raises my heart rate without much straining. Currently I am only playing around for 5-10 minutes per session 3 times a day. Hopefully I can extend it to 15 and later perhaps 30 minutes. As they say, never hurts to create variety in our exercise routine. It will take a while before I can see results though.

Today is also the day my housemate's brother came back here. His flight yesterday was delayed so he only step back into the house today. It was great seeing him again and now there is another person to go cybercafe with. However, I have been living in my current environment for so long, things don't really change much here. Today we visited the cybercafe together after a long time and well even though the game was entertaining, it still feels kinda empty after that. Enjoy the moment as people say. I think I never mentioned this before but I am trying to find a new place nearby to stay. Actually I had that thought for a while now since this rental room is not exactly idealistic. The reason why I finally feel the urgency for it is because some of my Ipoh friends actually said they may move to KL after the Chinese New Year. If they do, my life in KL might change a bit. Too early to say for the better or worst but a change is welcomed nonetheless.

For the first time, I think I will cut short the post. No point going on and on about things that do not arouse interest. Furthermore it is way too hot to even concentrate. My head feels kinda numb now. I guess I should hit the sack early and give my body whatever rest it needs. Tomorrow will be Sunday and I still have some office work to do. But it is a Sunday for crying out loud. I want to laze around on my bed or simply sit at the park and enjoy the wind. I have been drenched in melancholy for so long that it became one of the things I cherish. Kinda like being in the rain for too long and then you grew a liking for it. To daydream of things that were, of things that could be and of things that will be. Negativity has become such a deep part of me without me realizing. However, as they say we are made of our hopes and dreams. Where we stand now is a direct consequence of what we aimed for. Enjoy your Sunday and take care!!!

Weather and me

I am seriously going to run out of titles. The weather is so freaking hot that I can't even think properly for this post. I am sweating and stuck inside a room with limited ventilation for the night. Well, we can't really expect everything to be perfect so might as well be grateful it wasn't raining earlier. My badminton arm still hurts a lot because I stopped playing for 2 weeks. Playing badminton requires me to swing my arm repeatedly in different angles and directions instead of simply pushing up during exercise. If only I could do the same using my left arm so my body won't grow to be lopsided. I just weighed myself earlier and there was no change. I have doubts if my diet is enough. But if I am constantly building up muscle, then a stable weight means I only regain what I lost in a different form. We need to think positively right?

For this post, I decided to highlight some aspects of my current state of being. I do not react well to positivity actually. I do not appreciate people that promote positivity for everything especially those that totally ignore reality. I prefer to be more down to earth and not make any assumptions easily. Furthermore when you are being so adamant about your belief, it only gets harder to be sad when you are supposed to be. Please do not hold back tears. It is way more heart-breaking than to see you actually cry. There is nothing wrong to cry or yell or curse the earth. Just don't do it without a good reason. Over-reacting is not really good outside of a funny scenario. I guess the best way to sum things up is never be too serious about positivity.

However, the worst part is that I react badly against good things too. I feel very embarrassed when people compliment me or thank me. I do not know what to do when people respect my opinion or simply listen and agree. I have been cloaked in so much negative reactions that I am unprepared for all this. I am constantly waiting for a backlash or an argument or being ignored or isolated. Just recently I spewed a crap load of personal philosophical principles and an acquaintance simply just agree and even added to it. Usually people will brush me off as too long winded, saying my words are too deep and feign ignorance or come up with something as a last word. Speaking of last words, more on this in my final paragraph. I was at a loss and didn't know what to type. It is like 'Wow, it actually worked. Now what do I do?'.

Does this mean I am doing something right now? Will things get better now? I dare not to hope that much. I only take things as they come. Giving advice is not without its fair share of disadvantages. Especially when it is regarding relationships. I should stop commenting so much on other people or promote what I would have done in their situation. It is very bad. Assuming that what I say is correct and perhaps even idealistic, wouldn't that simply increase the dissatisfaction they have in the current relationship? Even though they won't break up straight away, the seeds of doubt have been planted. And it would be planted by none other than me. Some may argue that if they share real love, nothing can break them up. I can only hope so because most of the time I cannot simply ignore or lie. Everyone deserves to be happy but I guess in the end nobody has the right to interfere.

Somehow I am feeling agitated easily now. I just shot out an outburst to someone I know over Facebook. It wasn't without reason but I think I should stop talking to people for a while. Even if it is due to heat, this is a very bad aspect of my personality that I must fix if I ever hope to be the person I want to be. Coming this CNY I think I will be cleaning up my Facebook contact list. Why do I even bother checking out the status of people I do not like? Some never posted anything for ages. Maybe they blocked me. Having more contacts is definitely useful but only if we are in good terms with those people else they are useless. It is a very rare occurrence that you can find help among them unless there is a trade. I have also decided to reduce my interaction with people who like to get the last word in. My new year resolution for a better state of mind. Anyway, the weekends are here so I hope all of you will enjoy Saturday!!

Age and me

After the badminton session yesterday, today my whole body aches. It is good to know that I have successfully exercised most of my body but it is very inconvenient when your body gets stiff and painful while moving. However, I persevered and managed to go for a walk and stretch my body a bit. The pain did not subside though but hopefully it helps in the long run. Usually a good rest will be accompanied by an improvement in fitness as the body recovers stronger than before. Regarding the walk, I saw a dude playing basketball with his friends and he looks skinny but muscular. His figure looks as though plastic and rock hard. I am by no means aiming for that but just made me wonder if he went to the gym or simply sports? Now I find myself checking out dudes and comparing myself with them. It is a good and bad thing depending on how you look at it.

Today I spend part of my time thinking about my post yesterday. Actually I think it is not fair to entirely blame other people too. It just happens that our circumstances are different. Maybe I am just angry that they are not understanding or at least they do not show it visibly to me. It gets worst when some of them nitpick about my financial situation which is severely aggravating. Well that is just how some of them are. Hope things will keep getting better and better for everyone. I may not strike it rich tomorrow but I just want to be able to do what I want to do. Even getting fit requires money nowadays. It would be a lie to say that I am not envious of my friends that have a good paying job, drive a car and go hang out at expensive places. What I can do now is to just concentrate more on the other perks that come along with my decisions in life. For example, I seldom OT and I only work 5 days per week so I make full use of the spare time.

For the rest of my time I spend mostly chatting with my colleagues. It is very true that age plays no influence on how a person behaves or thinks. Some people say I think like an old man which I prefer to rephrase as matured for my age. Okay, you can stop laughing or risk choking on your saliva. Frequently we hear people getting life lessons from kids half their age. Usually it is because we tend to over-complicate issues and miss the whole point. Sometimes the solution is so simple that a primary school kid can tell you about it. It is good advice to never brush off anyone with an opinion if possible. I am not saying that blocking your enemies in Facebook is wrong but at least listen to what others have to say. However, some people don't really care about the thoughtful opinions of others.

Today someone older than me was behaving rather childishly whereas someone younger than me actually sat down and listen. It is a surprising reversal of roles but I think we will always have a childish streak in us and people will grow up someday. I think I also tend to behave childishly even in a serious situation. Hopefully I can change for the better. People offending each other is a fact of reality around us and mostly it depends on how people react to it. Anyway, not everyone can sit down and listen to advice. But most of the time, advice given by our elders are actually very useful in life. It is just that when we heard it, we do not know when or how it will be applied. I do not expect people to listen to me because I do not listen to people previously as well. But I should at least do my duty as a friend who cares.

Advice is kind of like a shortcut in life where an experience is summarised into words and bestowed verbally to another directly. This is a good practice but without experience, the advice means nothing. Before the pain, humans do not know that it hurts no matter how much warning is provided. The best way of learning a lesson is to experience it first hand and come up with your own thoughts and conclusion. However, there are lessons where people do not survive to benefit from it. I can only hope that it will not happen to any of us. Usually people attribute age with experience but some people never experience much even though they are older. The life of each person is different. To those with a lot of experience, do try to care for those that need your opinions. And please be patient with them if possible. Most of the time I am not. That's all for the post and enjoy your FRIDAY!!!

The past and me

Just came back from badminton not long ago. It was a satisfying session except for the fact that my shoes have once again gotten slippery. Well this is not something new and I have gotten sick of always blaming the equipment for my lack of performance. I still haven't change my racquet strings after complaining for more than 6 months. My body managed to hold up nicely and I don't think it is more tiring than my normal exercise sessions. Speaking of exercise, I managed to figure out a new exercise plan for myself that incorporates all the new routines I found. On usual rest days I will be walking and stretching with minimal basic exercise like sit ups and push ups. On weekends I will be walking and also try to do those skipping exercises 3 times throughout the whole day to build up my calves. Whenever I remember I will be doing simple stretching like lifting my legs horizontally while sitting and extending my feet or simply tip-toe.

When you have a plan, you will feel excited over it and would like to try it out to see what are the results. I think I am doing good but usually people only see what they want to see. But that is good enough for me because it only motivates me more to continue with my current routine. Speaking of plans most people will think about outings or something fun to do. Okay I admit that was a weak attempt to switch the topic to what I really want to talk about. I didn't really want to touch this but seeing a post in Facebook reminded me and might as well get it off my chest. How many of you out there that frequently uses the excuse 'No money' to turn down an invitation that you are not keen on? How many of you out there actually means it when you say 'No money'? I might not sound like it but believe me I was once the latter during university. Not that I use the excuse to avoid invitations now since I have my own income already.

During my university days I live with the bare minimum. I don't even buy second hand books if I can help it. I study off Powerpoint slides. I try to skimp on even getting photocopy versions of notes. I guess it was a miracle I managed to graduate with my CGPA. My daily food allowance was around RM10-RM15 but it once dropped to strictly RM7. I was living off nasi lemak and roti canai. More towards roti canai and that is why I hate roti canai now and I once weighed 65kg. I used to think that because of my wish to become slim after my painful secondary school experience, it was granted in a horrible way. I have eaten an economy rice that was bought by a senior that tastes so bad I don't really choose my food now. Either eat it or die after starving for a day. I still hate him for that and I don't think I will ever forgive him. I still remember his face when I opened the packet and uttered my displeasure.

I know that I am not alone in this kind of lifestyle. Many people have lived off bread and cup noodles. However, my point is that people do not take 'No money' as a valid excuse back then. It actually meant I don't want to mix with the group I think. Because that is what happened at one point. People started complaining that I never joined them for anything. How can you expect a person that eats RM7 per day to actually go Jogoya and eat a meal that is worth a week? I wasn't entirely isolated but I didn't join a lot of activities organized by coursemates or hostelmates. When they started moving out to stay together at rental houses I am forced to stay in due to the cheaper rent. Soon, they have their own groups. They can go karaoke, barbecue, watch movies, drink alcohol and I will be left alone in my room reading status updates in Facebook. It was a dark period in my life.

Now, as I meet more people, they are more understanding at least. Some even patronize me by saying they have no money too. I mean come on, you people drive cars and own smartphones and all those luxury items. However, I appreciate that gesture. Who am I to actually doubt them? Might as well take it at face value, and have a good laugh together. Because it was one of the things I promised myself to never do. I will not isolate anyone that uses 'No money' as a convenient excuse. I would rather risk it being a lie than to have another one suffer the same fate I did. I don't really lose anything if I trust the people I call 'friends' in this matter I think. As a bitter gesture though, honestly, as you can see, I never did forgive those people that did it to me. But hey, we might never see or meet each other again. Now that I have stretched my heart strings, I wish to end this post by wishing you all, have a nice day tomorrow and take care!!

Muscle ache and me

I am not sure if it was due to over-exercising, bad form during push ups or I simply overdid it, my left arm's nerve was affected. There is a stinging pain whenever I lift my arm a certain angle and it is not the dull pain from muscle aches. I actually woke up before the alarm rang this morning due to the pain. I thought it was me sleeping on my arm but the sting persisted throughout most of the day. Now it feels a bit better after I force myself to perform some stretching during my walk around the park close by. This is the first warning shot by my body and it would be wise to heed the warning. Luckily tomorrow is badminton night and I play using my right arm instead.

Perhaps it is due to the uneven strength between my left and right arm. I use my right arm for sports while the other is only for writing or holding the spoon. I have been trying to make up for it by purposely doing more repetitions using a dumbbell but seems like it isn't working that well. However, the dumbbell I am currently using is only 4kg so there isn't such a big impact. I might invest in a heavier one but developing my arms is not a primary concern. Luckily my legs still feels okay except for the usual muscle ache. My calves do seem to look rather unsightly but apparently it is one of the last places to benefit from weight lost. Same thing with my abdomen. Both my hands and my feet are rather gaunt but looks like there is still much more to burn. It is kinda hard juggling between a slim and toned figure with bulkiness.

Been looking up a lot of stuff on Youtube recently and found a fitness video featuring some of the Korean idols. Even though the exercise routine that they promote looks rather girlish I can tell you honestly that it is not by a long shot. I was already gasping for air halfway through the entire routine. Little did I know that hopping AND flexing your legs are that tiring. Furthermore in the video they highlighted that their legs are actually very firm. When I try grabbing my calves, I think my fingers sunk a centimetre or more into the flesh which was disappointing. Even though I jog 3-4km 3 times a week, I think my thighs benefit more. There is plenty of work to be done on my body and what I need now is just patience. I believe if I continue my workouts and my current diet, favourable results will show.

Referring to my post yesterday, the Korean drama I am chasing concluded today and I was lucky enough to be able to watch the whole thing before the houseowner took over the TV. It sucks not being able to watch the full credits but good enough I guess. Among the things highlighted, it sucks to be an immortal because you might experience someone dying on you twice due to theory of reincarnation and karma. It is very realistic to see the male lead getting weepy when the female lead realizes and says thank you for him sacrificing sleep to accompany her before her death. Lastly, it always ends with a happy ending even though the events that precede it usually doesn't make much sense. Well it was entertaining while it lasted and the new China drama showing tomorrow fails to attract my attention. Back to anime or maybe I should start on some of my planned projects?

I think it is about time to buy a TV for myself. I think the houseowner might increase my rent if I did that though. Currently I am paying a flat price which includes water and electricity. But my bank savings look so-so only even after 2 years working in KL. I mean I have savings but it is not like I could simply splurge it on an indulgence. Expenses here is by no means cheap and there are oftentimes unexpected and unavoidable spending. Decisions to make and a life to live. Things we need to face head on everyday and tomorrow is no different. I will stop my blabber now and would like to wish you all take care and have a nice Wednesday!!

Korean dramas and me

This long weekend feels like a week has passed for me. Feels like many things happened or perhaps I am just too tired now. Most of the time I find myself getting more tired when I am away from work because I start to ignore my sleep thinking I could sleep whenever I feel like it the next day. And most of the time it doesn't turn out that way. I am glad to see more and more people starting to get on the fitness bandwagon as a new year resolution. With the recent outbreak of sickness, obesity and untimely deaths it is understandable that everyone will be worried about their well-being. Where else to start than to change your lifestyle into a healthier one? For those people that are already active, perhaps stop smoking or try to skip alcohol whenever possible?

Today my housemate decided to go jogging at TTDI and I was more than happy to tag along. All this while I have only jogged at a small playground near my house with a circumference of around 300 meters. Therefore to achieve my quota, I will need to circle the place more than 10 laps. Anyway, it is a chance to seriously test my stamina against a proper jogging track and also to see if my fitness level is satisfactory among other runners. We arrived at the place and it is seriously packed. First time in a long time I have to evade people coming from the opposite direction as well as people heading in the same direction. Suddenly it became an obstacle course with kids on bicycles randomly turning and elderly people swinging their arms helicopter style. However, the new environment is indeed very refreshing.

By the time I am done I feel very tired but very good as well. Apparently I am at least on par with some of the regulars there with buff bodies. However, the one thing that attract my eye is a petite female going through her paces round after round. She definitely outran me in terms of distance. Very inspiring to see that a female representative has respectable willpower and endurance. For her to train up to that level would mean months of dedication. Too bad my glasses were left in the car so I can't really see much. Don't worry it is definitely a female. My vision is not that bad yet. Anyway it was fun exercising there with a crowd and if I have transport, I will surely go there once more. At least there are more exercise equipment available for the public.

Guess I will always be attracted to females that break the norm. Find it very interesting and wakes up my curiosity to actually want to understand a person better. And now comes to the korean drama part of the blog post. I am currently chasing after the korean drama that is concluding tomorrow. Very idealistic love story with not so normal characters. Anyway finally I saw my theory of true love in a drama. The love rival of the male lead decided to give up after seeing that the guy has no doubts of sacrificing himself for the female lead. It is not as simple as a dramatic speech since it involves action but I don't think the male lead knows that he will not die either. It is a question I hope I can answer correctly in the future. I still do not have my own answer yet. I don't think I can lay down my life for any of the girls I liked in the past.

With this I think I have turned a complete 180 degrees regarding romantic, comedy and tear-jerking dramas. Few years back I do not understand why people like to watch all those dramas that involve love and a lot of crying. Now I willingly devote my time to sit down and watch while holding an extreme interest in how things will end. We really do change a lot as time passes by. Hopefully most of the changes involve positive growth. As to why such a sudden interest exploded from within me is beyond my own understanding. The stars of the drama is not those korean idols that I like. However, I do feel uncomfortable when I watch with my family at home. Feels weird when the female lead cries and the whole situation seems solemn. I don't mean I cry along but there is just this awkwardness.

I have still much to go regarding my personal understanding of myself. Is it naive of me to ask others to try understanding me then? Perhaps I am seeking people to help me discover myself as well. Not many can claim to have a perfect understanding of themselves. I enjoy random things every now and then but I am quite sure what my short term goals are and what I enjoy doing. I can plan out my time properly and as a result will have less regrets I hope. Some things are never meant to be taken seriously but those things are defined differently for each person. I admit I am very sensitive and emotional at times. But I will gladly pay the price for being honest to myself. Hope this post messes with your thoughts a little. Take care and enjoy Tuesday!!

People and new year

Glad to see some people seriously taking up exercise as part of their new year resolution to stay healthy. Even though a healthy diet is equally important but I think giving your body a good sweat every now and then will provide emotional fulfilment as well. Start with a small step and when it feels comfortable, try to take it up another level. To those who hate sweating or sports or heavy exercise, taking a walk daily for 30 minutes should be good enough. Along the way try to stretch a bit, swing your arms or simply hold your stomach in for a while to burn more calories. Anything you do that goes against natural movement helps. Maybe try to stand behind the couch as you watch TV or walk around the room and disturb people during advertisements. Simple activities may add up throughout the day and carry forward to the overall loss at the end of the week.

A lot of people usher in the new year by saying thanks and being grateful for all that has happened. Many are hopeful towards what the new year may bring and spread well-wishes to everyone. Many more shared photos of how they spend their new year and how much fun they had. Sadly, not everything is happy and positive today. Some people were pretty negative the year before and I see no change the year after. They don't really change and helpful advice is not well appreciated so most people just sit and watch as the drama unfolds. I do believe that I once acted that way. Now I understood how pathetic it looks like and hopefully I won't revert back into such a state. I wish to apologize here to all those people that I have offended during my random outbursts and thank you for caring for me.

Today as I go around my business as usual, I notice couples heading into the cybercafe. I don't think there is anything wrong with going to a cybercafe to spend time but majority of females don't really enjoy gaming. Unless she is a good gamer as well, I don't think she enjoys losing or getting frightened or worst, getting yelled at. Nobody likes to be frustrated. Some females I see simply visit facebook or watch drama while their male counterpart kills each other using a cyber avatar. Maybe it is acceptable if it is a rare occurrence but if this is how dates usually end up, I don't think there will be healthy progress in the relationship. However, who am I to comment? Maybe you can label me as naive, but that is how I see things around me. Come on, that can't possibly be a plan right? Seems like someone didn't spare much thought to me.

I do admit previously I hope my future partner will be a gamer. However I wish to retract that statement. Honestly, I hope my partner will be the one to keep me on track instead of indulging in unhealthy activities with me. I do think that obsessive gaming for long periods of time is bad. This is a trend I notice among some couples I know. They tend to form 'toxic' relationships. Imagine what happens when 2 chain smokers get together. They will never run out of cigarettes I am sure. Same thing for 2 party-goers or heavy drinkers. They will mutually destroy each other and I don't think it is something good. Maybe it is better to pair up with someone reliable, responsible and is a 'goody two shoes'. We tend to ignore advice that targets our own well-being but we may go the extra mile if it was for someone else that we care deeply about.

Perhaps I am only speaking for myself and it sounds all too idealistic but wouldn't it be nice if it is true? I am always dreaming about the future so why not dream a little bit bigger? Maybe that is why I have a natural dislike for girls that require high emotional attention. I am not against girls that act cute but please do not be needy and childish most of the time. Maybe I just do not have a good sense of humour. The ice queen with the occasional smile blows away the whiny chick that constantly pouts. Just so you know, I am okay with the cheerful girl that is capable of being serious too. If you are angry with me, speak so in a serious manner because we are both adults now and I need to take you seriously too. That is all I want to say, take care and have a nice day!!