Sometimes dreams do come true.

It has been more than half a year since I last blogged something. Many things have happened. New friendships were made and old ones lost. I did my first overseas marathon and flew to Europe for the first time in a separate trip. Many people I know got married and those who were already married delivered their first child. But some things remain the same. However, this blog post is not dedicated to myself but to someone I truly feel like my hero.

Today a team of gamers won a total amount of 6.6 million USD. I was there watching and rooting for the eventual winners. I am not really a fan of the team but I am a fan of one of the players. His name is Clinton Loomis, or better known as Fear in the Dota 2 community. I do not dare say that I relate to him on the skill level but more on his background story.

He faced financial responsibilities...

..and pressure from his family

His financial situation is so dire that he did not even have a good computer to play on.

He is also one of the oldest players in the professional scene. Usually games that require quick reflexes and precise clicking are not kind to 'old' players.

But he persevered. He made a difficult choice. He got pretty famous when he lead Online Kingdom to a some phenomenal games in the first big tournament that guarantees a prize money of over a million USD to the winners.

Unfortunately, his team did not win. That was 5 years ago. Now, not only can he afford a better monitor, his name is immortalized as a member of the team that defeated the world of Dota 2. 

5 years ago is the same time I started working. 5 years ago is the time I made my decision to pursue the life of an office worker. I put my gaming mouse aside. But it has never once left my sight. I still keep some items for old times' sake. I still play now and then but never the same level ever again. Especially now with my hand injury. But he, he did what I could not. Numerous factors aside, the most important thing is he did not give up on his dream. And it came true. Even though it took a while, even though it was difficult, it came true. I was actually happy that he won. And through his victory I felt inspired too. 

I feel that sometimes...sometimes dreams do come true.

Hello 2015!

This post is long overdue. I was thinking of writing again after the Cyberjaya Marathon but I was too excited about returning home. After 3 months, I get to see my parents and savour the good food of my hometown, Ipoh, once more. Just a brief summary of what transpired at my last marathon of 2014, I could not break my Penang timing. In fact, I got slower. I blame the hills as well as an upset stomach. This is the first time I have such severe stomach ache that I went to the toilet twice during the run and twice afterwards. Maybe it is due to the orange-flavored gel that I took before I start. Truly a horrible experience. I can only apologize to any runners who entered the same toilet afterwards. Yes, I was running without much cleaning too. Sounds disgusting but there is nothing I can do about it. Thankfully I did not get any infection or inflammation.

After the rest, I still have a few more days till the new year. I think long and hard on what happened, why it happened and what I want to do in 2015. First of all, I decided to drop the Gold Coast marathon due to financial constraints. Even though I took up freelance writing, there is no way I could fund 3 overseas trips without burning my savings. Therefore I decided to only go Hong Kong and Nepal. After much calculation, I am still running short because Nepal is not cheap. And the price of everything is increasing. Gym, education loan repayment and most definitely living costs due to GST. I cannot drop gym nor do I want to relocate to a cheaper room. So, the only thing I can do is cut food. Previously I tend to consume 2 plates during lunch but after the return to Ipoh somehow I can stay full even with one. Maybe it is temporary because I ate a lot and I am just burning my reserves but if I can cut around RM5 per day, that is 150 a month. I can only hope my increment would be substantial but most likely it will hover around RM200. I already cut out movies, outings and a lot of stuff and I am really running out of ideas.

By cutting out food I hope that I can finally have a cool body figure. Before I started running my abs disappeared as I concentrated on strength training. Now they returned but I look pretty strange right now because my muscles are uneven. Maybe it will continue since I am still exercising my upper body and back but with more definition. Unfortunately, with the decrease in food, I might get irritated much more easily now. As if I am not sensitive enough already. Throughout the year it was a roller coaster of emotions for both me and the people around me. I think I improved a lot and running definitely helped but I still lose my composure when the event is truly retarded. I realized I really have a mental issue when I feel better due to the pain of running. Most likely subconsciously I treat it the same as cutting myself. It is as if all the hidden anger are channelled out through the pain. I feel as though I finally exhaled. I know this is really bad and I remember there is even an article that says we should not treat running as therapy and get the underlying issues fixed properly. Perhaps I should really see a shrink?

For 2015 I have several resolutions. First and foremost I really want to break the 4 hour mark for a full marathon. I am excited to try out a new training plan after the Hong Kong marathon. I read about the 'killer week' concept and it involves increasing your weekly mileage by 30% or more only for that week. Hopefully I will not end up with an injury. Maybe my weight loss will contribute to this goal as well. Secondly, I want to finish a 100km ultra marathon. I have my eyes on the Penang Ultra and the 16(?) hour cut-off time seems pretty possible. Well, I will not know until I attempt it. My third resolution, I will start seeing the world. If the Nepal trip fails, that means I have around 5K to spend and I will definitely use it to travel to Korea. I don't really have anything else I want to achieve though. Maybe learn Korean, learn to sing or to dance. But those seem highly unlikely. I am really curious about what will happen in 2015. Work might get more interesting. I foresee my social life will remain non-existent. In an ironic twist, I am actually thankful I do not have a girlfriend or a 'life' right now. I seriously could not afford it. Hope one day I can stop saying that.

A full year 2014 part 2 : Miracles

I have a feeling more posts with a similar title will pop up every week. So here I am, deciding against playing computer games to rejuvenate my soul and writing skills instead. Usually I am pretty lazy on a Saturday considering I woke up early for my run and finished quite a number of chores. Quite recently I was disappointed after I found out one of the girls I had my eyes on since annual dinner is actually married. It came as a big surprise because she sure as hell do not look like a married woman. Well, a good woman would already be taken is what I always say. What's left are those who rejects a relationship or, if I may be brutally honest, not a good wife material. I am not saying I am without faults myself but think about it. If we really are awesome, we would be cuddling our significant other rather than me writing this or you reading this.

So I was thinking that there are no miracles in this world. Most things can be explained and is a direct or indirect consequence of a decision or action taken in the past. I never stood a chance, no matter what I do at this point. After a day of depression I thought why not try to think things the other way around and see how many of them would pop up. So this will be the topic for today I suppose. Let me try recounting the miracles that happened in my life so far.

The biggest point would be me still alive today. I have encountered life-threatening accidents for at least 4 times now. I almost drowned and I had several accidents involving motorcycles. Furthermore, there were news reports of freak accidents around the world. So I guess you could say it is a miracle that I am still healthy, with all my limbs intact without deformities. I am thankful for that. Of course part of health is due to exercise but what I meant would be terminal illnesses that just sprout for no good reason. The visible scars on my hands and my legs are very potent reminders of what happened last year. It is truly a miracle that I escaped that without broken bones or internal injuries. The external injuries are definitely horrible but I am looking at the worst case scenario. I could have died because the good samaritan that sent me to the clinic said I flew and my helmet got flung off.

I guess I can say it is a miracle that I landed on a good working environment right now. Things could have gone wrong at so many instances, I can only consider myself lucky. The arrangement right now could definitely improve but it is far from bad. I could have been transferred to another team. Twice. Met some good people and some not so good people but somehow I think they are helping me grow to be a better person. My infamous temper flared several times but it is already a big improvement if you compare with me from 5 years back. Previously I lamented on how the old me would have laughed at the current me for being such a weakling with no backbone. But sometimes being so direct and stubborn is not the best approach. In the end, our purpose is to live in the best way possible right? I guess I can only say I have gotten more practical. I am still a rebel every now and then but not as aggressive. And the people here are actually more open to opinions. I really like the way my foreign colleagues work and communicate. Totally different and much more effective.

There are no miracles in social connections or my non-existent love life though. I made some new non-office friends this year due to my participation in running but it may simply be an acquaintance. Without a car, my transportation options are severely limited. The people I meet usually already have their own established circle of friends so I don't really fit in either. After all, I am not from around here. Maybe the reason why I take friendship so seriously is because I have none. Each one is as precious as it could be and I guess the other party just do not think so highly of it. Can't really blame them. Still disappointing and angry though. About love, I realized I had not loved anybody I know since I started working. Korean bias does not count. Maybe I set my standards too high? Or simply because everyone has been taken? Well office relationships can be quite messy anyway. I don't really go socialize nor do I join any social clubs so I guess I had it coming? That's why it is called a miracle if I ever found one.