Most of you would be more interested in the second part of the title but be prepared to be disappointed as I myself could not bear to take a selfie. I need more time. My hair has been with me since university days. It is an understatement if you think people are merely surprised by the change. I admit I have been pretty stubborn about it in the past but I have decided to take action this time around. I will rant about it after I talk about happy stuff. Last weekend, I finally completed my first full marathon at Langkawi. I have never been to Langkawi so things turn out pretty good I would say. No, I did not have sex on the beach. And no, you are not the first to ask. Yes, I am pretty annoyed with the question.
Pricks aside, it was really fun and eye-opening. The run was far more challenging than I have imagined. The most I have run during practice was 32km and I was so wrong to think that another 10km would not be that bad. The course itself is very hilly but I have always been running on a hilly track, just not as steep. Something to add into my training plan for the next marathon which is rumoured to be worst. The weather was pretty comfortable though. However, I lost an earbud for my headphones during the run so that is a major bummer. I already have experience with stopping at water stations and eating power gels during Johor's half marathon so it is not something new this time around. However, coconuts being served is certainly very new!
My joy of finishing was dampened when I saw my timing though. I am still happy for sure but mostly just because the ordeal is over. I guess I am so over-confident that I thought finishing is a certainty. Of course it is a pretty good 5:20 especially for a beginner but I have read articles about people finishing below 5 for their first marathon. Maybe the running course is different. But I refuse to accept that excuse. I am just not that good yet. I guess a part of me agreed that thinking like that is the best to keep myself grounded and to aim for a better finishing time in the upcoming marathons. Cool to see those that finish earlier than me did not have all those cool and expensive running gear except for a nice shoe or proper compression shorts. I have nothing against people who require running gear just that I have a personal vendetta towards rich people. Call it jealousy.
About my hair, I was seriously considering it during my journey back from Langkawi. I wonder if I am still under the influence of the adrenaline. I guess enough is enough. Throughout the years I have taken so much unwanted comments about my hairstyle that I have lost count. From being labelled as gay or pretty (in a very negative way I assure you) to being told that it is the cause I am still single. Of course I did not blow up in your face when you say those things. I even laughed at your jokes. But just because I laugh it off, does not mean it is not taken as an insult. Just because I have heard it over a thousand times, it does not make it any less offensive. In fact it might feel worst. Try to remember the last time you are forced to laugh an insult off just because you are socially obligated to present yourself as a creature with a good sense of humour and high EQ.
Bitterness aside, I really did not have a good reason not to cut my hair. I was using my hair as a conversation topic and to take away the attention from my face. So much time has passed since I last saw my face with short hair. Never try never know right? I am not one to shy away from a challenge, especially not one as trivial as this. I have lived with insults from the days of being overweight to being called a sissy or gay, it could not get any worst right? However, it was not any better either. The comments died down after a while thankfully. I am still reaching to untie my hair every time I want to take a bath or go to sleep. Hopefully things will get better. If not, at least I will have something to say to the same people when I want to grow out my hair again. I will be keeping it short for a while.
In the end, all my rants can be rendered moot simply by acknowledging the fact that my decisions and nothing else brought about everything. My financial situation is not the best, and I could have taken the job offer to work at a financial institution or take up freelancing but I refuse. I am annoyed with people but I could have just ignored them or kept my distance or even try to make new friends elsewhere. I hate comments about my hair but I was the one who decided it might be cool to keep it long, a good change of image. I get jealous when I see people with rich toys or great friends but I am just judging by first impression. Maybe they worked hard for it. But that is just how things are in this world right? People judge easily. They do not play by my rules either. Oh well, such is life.
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