12/1/2008

Urgh...another weekend...but tis time i will try to make it different...by studying...yeah u read tat correctly...after being disappointed wif my own weaknesses i decided to bring tis a lvl further...now tat i dun think there r frequent outings anymore might as well channel all my frustration n other negative feelings into sumthing more useful...everyday i try to live my life on my own now...dont wana care for anyone but myself...a pitiful life sum might say...n i know i will b missing out on a lot of things...but if itz the best for me n everyone then so be it...i still couldnt process the term let go of my past...how to let go?...wat to let go?...if everything tat i m now iz coz i couldnt let go then i really muz try to face it one way or the other...perhaps the situation here or the scenario might b a bit special or unique but who knows? sumthing similar might happen in the future n i will know how to best react to it....hopefully =_=...earlier i tried to contact my coursemates for supper...i dun dare to hope for much...in fact i dun really know wat to talk about if they really agreed to come out for supper...they said no...one fella go paktoh while the other iz bz...i feel relieved but disappointed at the same time...if i dun talk to anyone...no one talks to me save for a few...there r exceptions of course...examples would b wen i hav sumthing they want...be it knowledge bout sumthing or an item...or i m the 'last resort' so to speak...meaning no one else loh..then onli find me...sum say i take life too seriously or make things too complicated...i juz wanted to know why...i m juz asking questions...mayb none can answer tis questions other than myself??...but i couldnt...no matter how many nights i spend thinking about tis issue...soon i will b released into the wild..how will i fare then?? it will b foolish not to plan for the future rite?...anyhow while writing tis blog i realized sumthing i think itz a universal truth...or in simple words..a fact...no friendship starts without a reason...u wan to know sumone else bcoz u r sitting bside the person in class, or grouped together...or u think the person iz attractive, charming, handsome or pretty...sounds harsh rite? throughout my blogs i hav posted so many facts like tis but i dun think anyone could proof me wrong....at least not yet...indeed i m hoping for sumone to do so...perhaps the world will b a better place...i feel tat i hav much more to blog..but sumhow i feel tat itz juz a waste of time as well...posting a blog iz sumthing to do out of loneliness...at least for me lah...if i got an active social life, tis blog will rot...too bz mah..hehehe...no more lonely nights such as tis i guess...so...wen i m alone...who will even bother to read tis blog...n i didnt really reveal tis blog to a lot of ppl...i prefer not to...so tat i can talk bout sumthings in private...but i wan tis blog to b read by ppl...i wan to send my thoughts sumwhere...ah...cant really put my thoughts into words successfully tis time...my mind iz getting blur de...tired i guess..hahaha...n bored no less...tatz all then...