Just came back from the cinema, having watched Pacific Rim. Unlike the other attendees, my reaction was rather different. Instead of being at awe and still immersed in the movie, I only felt like learning boxing or something. I mean putting your guard up has never looked so awesome. Other than that, perhaps the movie was overhyped by my colleagues and friends, I feel it was just okay. Did not have the intention of going in for another round at all. I was hoping for something more spectacular. I mean come on, rocket fist was not the finisher? The China Yaeger was not based on Shaolin kung fu but hipster triplets with saw blades? At least reflect the country's culture. Maybe I really am expecting too much. And Mako Mari was rocking her screentime until she said 'For my family!'. I mean really? It is a respectable homage to cheesy anime I guess. Maybe I play too much games and watch too much crazy anime. They do not have super moves and everything else. Since the movie is already based on something cheesy, bring it all the way man.
If you people were wondering, I went there alone. Like I always do. But as I walked home, loneliness struck as I pondered how nice it would be if I could share my afterthoughts immediately instead of coming here, to the blog. The walk is not long at all but just one of those what if moments. Being able to share is always nice. Not only it means you have companions, but you have enough to share. You learn more about yourself as you go about to do things. From this movie I made up my mind on something. Since I am so immersed in exercising and fitness, maybe I should put job satisfaction on the back seat instead. I mean, I work to live, not live to work. Work is merely a means to an end for me. For now, it is impossible to merge both my life and work together since I have many issues with it. So, just kick it out of the top priority standing. Work so that I can live my life the way I want it. I should not stress myself out looking for a job that I can live with. I should concentrate on living my life while working for it. It is but a chore. Not important at all. Maybe this kind of thinking is wrong, but who knows?
Speaking of loneliness, I do feel lonely most of the time. But I also realize something. Maybe I cannot fall in love. Not because of a stupid reason like I could not and shit like that but perhaps I should not. Maybe I just cannot withstand the emotional strain that comes with it. There is no telling that any relationship is going to be successful, that is life. I mean I can't even stand people crying in a drama, let alone someone real that I honestly care about. I have always been a crybaby, ever since young. So perhaps this was arranged for that reason. I mean come on, I am those people that make all kinds of facial expressions watching romance comedy dramas. What makes you think I will not cry my eyes blind if something bad happens? It is very scary for me. Currently I am watching a drama based in the hospital. Sickness is unpredictable. But the helplessness of seeing your loved one slowly die is very much real. I can just imagine it. A doctor's worst nightmare is to see someone you know becoming a patient. For the first time, I was thankful that I am not a doctor. With the way reality have been acting so far, I am almost sure it will happen to me as well.
Of course not every bad thing will become reality. I am already 26 going on to 27 this year with all my limbs intact and hopefully no terminal disease. My family is fine so far as well, thank you. This world is a scary place. The more you know, and the more you realize, the more you fear. I was so depressed when I was going to get my driver's licence and realized that no matter how good a driver you are, you will still die due to the negligence of others. Nowadays, it is not that I stop caring, but you can only do so much. The rest, seriously, you have to leave it to god, reality or whatever it is that you believe. I have plenty of thoughts like this all the time. But I still could not wrap my head around using my new phone to jot things down. Quite a hassle really to dig for it. I already lived a quarter century without one, so pardon me for taking time to get accustomed to being always connected. It is rather funny when I still wait for people or food without whipping out my phone because I forgot I could now. Well perhaps it is a good thing. At least I won't turn out to be one of those rude assholes anytime soon.
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