1/4/2008

I will strengthen my resolve...let tis day b the onli day tat i feel like tis...i will proceed wif my life as usual the day after...i shall not pursue the matter any longer as it iz not my concern anymore..i will b stronger in tis aspect as well...today i found out bout a terrible truth though...i m growing more n more attached to my solitude...i wud prefer to stay in room n on9...tis iz a terrible thing...bsides tat i think subconsciously i m pushing ppl away...to hav no one, there wont b any disappointments...no need to worry bout others...but can i live on like tis? wat do i really want? i guess tiz iz the reason i m so confused n irritated today...i m fighting an internal battle...mental war...i need sum1..to guide me...gimme advice...no...tatz not it...TATZ NOT IT!!! i wan sum1 to show tat friends do exist...to give me more faith n trust in ppl overall...sum1 to care for me...to look after my back...i m tired aledi...but there iz no one...not tat i pushed everyone away...it iz tat no one can help me...or in sum ways..not suitable to help me...to even listen to me...i can juz persevere n move on...days keep rolling by...i cant stop time from moving until i solve tis...i too muz keep on going...hopefully in the near future...i can onli hope...tat i can finally put down my blood stained sword in exchange for a warm embrace...to lift the shrouds from my heart n soul...to bring light...it iz not tat i really wana push ppl away...i cant speak here anymore...but i will say one more thing...it iz not tat i do not stretch out my hand...it iz tat no one accepts my hand in friendship...my hands r tired already...but i m trying to continue...based on the slim hope tat the unknown tomorrow will sumhow surprise me...