Everything comes to an end

Somehow this topic kept on ringing in my head for a while. Don't worry I am no where near suicidal yet but everything comes to an end in life right? Nothing lasts forever and usually it ends before we are ready for it. Of course nobody would want to prepare for the end while whatever it is still lasts since that will completely destroy the moments. However, we will end up with deep regrets most of the time. We can try to reduce the amount of regret by not procrastinating but it is only on best effort basis. Circumstances will not allow things to end perfectly unless you are really lucky. Sometimes reality helps to ease the pain by providing a replacement of sorts, a new beginning if you will. Sometimes you need to look for it yourself. Funny thing is, sometimes the end is determined by yourself. If you choose to accept it, or to give up, then that is all. But it might not be the same for the other party if there is one. Today I realized that I cannot rely on relationships of the past anymore. And I also realized some relationships never really ended. It might simply be my naive assumption but I choose to be optimistic this time around.

Many things are beginning for me as well. I have settled for a room in a house a few streets away. It is within walking distance so I can move in at my leisure. Most importantly, I can move by myself. I will just carry the boxes one by one. The house is a fully rental house so there will not be a television set or Astro anymore. Something that I may or may not have to give up. That is something to think about when I could afford more luxuries. Currently my bank account is bleeding with my new laptop purchase already. Now with the added room rental costs, my finance management skills will be thoroughly tested. Unless some miracle happens at the office and I end up with increment or a bonus. My new motto is never live never know. Before you try a chance, you need to live until there is a chance right? Too early to give up. The new laptop is a great addition to my entertainment since it is a top end model. I can play practically any game in the market. However, the problem is getting some of the older games that I missed. They don't even exist in those piracy websites anymore.

A laptop is never a replacement for a television set. For me, the television is the life of a household, it is where every member of the house congregates and spend time. This is why we have a place called the 'living room' in our houses. I am not sure about the others, but I am not really a fan of spending all my time in my room. Even now, my room's door is open. Well first of all it is for ventilation but secondly I feel more comfortable having it open. I have always been a 'people' kind of person deep inside. Somehow I got stuck in my room during my university days and I ended up being depressed most of the time. I feel that I am only truly living now. I am surprised at who I am recently. I come up with all this stupid ideas, I take photos and I find motivation in the most unlikely of things in my life. I am glad that I am able to get closer to all that I can be. I do not think it is appropriate to say that this is not me or the guy in the past is not me. It is incorrect to say I am fake either. We evolve, we grow and we change for the better or worst. It is simply a sign that we are living and not dead inside. We gain more angles to our personality and we become more colorful. What else will I discover tomorrow? Who will I be in 5 years time? I just need to run forward to find out. Easy.