Toilets and bullshit

When people mention toilets, the general population can only think of dirty stinking cubicles and unpleasant experiences. It is no secret that public toilets are poorly maintained due to numerous factors that I think you can figure out yourself. But why must one suffer even at home after work. I am talking about my rental room. If you rent a room, you cannot avoid sharing the toilet unless you rent the master room. But even then, you still have to share the rest of the house with everybody else. Back to toilets, sometimes if it is dirty, you can't even blame anybody because you will not find out who was the previous user unless you install a CCTV. Therefore I have made a resolution for myself. Even before I buy a car, I resolve to rent a place where I can actually enjoy staying in. No more waiting for bathroom, no more cleaning up after others and no more morning rush. Seriously people, why do I even bother owning a Ferrari if I don't even have a proper place to stay? I cannot take a dump in a Ferrari. I cannot sleep comfortably in a Ferrari. It is simply an overpriced piece of extravagant hardware. But please, don't let me stop you from buying one. I bet you can find all sorts of things to do with it. You can drive fast and then you can fetch people and drive fast to impress them. Awesome right?

In an argument we usually hear all kinds of stupid comebacks. While trying to be a good employee, you might find yourself providing opinions on how things can be improved to your seniors. Maybe they find this offensive because they like to ask me to do it myself since I am so clever. And so I learnt a few things while working in my current company. Firstly, everyone does not like opinions on how we can make the company rich and everyone getting a big fat performance bonus in return. No, they don't like it at all. Perhaps they hate the performance bonus more. I mean it is so troublesome to suddenly have so much money right? I bet it must be difficult planning your budget after all that. Secondly, they find it admirable to do things by yourself if the person in charge is incompetent. Therefore, the next time the fried noodles taste bad and you think it could use a bit more seasoning, don't bother complaining. Just push the owner away and do it yourself. Well, this is my take. The owner was paid to cook something nice and I deserve to complain right? And the company made you the best person to make marketing and sales decision that will determine the fate of the product that I developed right? What if I tell you that your decision sucks and everything is going down the drain now? Am I supposed to just sit and not care? I could have just take this upstairs and see how you like it.

They also like to modify quotes of wisdom to exert their own intelligence. Let me share with you the exact same phrase : Ask not what the company can do for you, Ask what you can do for the company. I have delivered every project, fulfilled my responsibility as an application developer, provided ideas, volunteered for career fairs, attended workshops and bonded well with other colleagues. What else can I do for the company? Help the marketing team with brainstorming? Done. Promote our product with the sales team? Done. What else do you want an application developer to do? Sweep the floor? Is it wrong for me to ask that the company fulfill my expectations? Is it wrong to ask that I get compensation if you require me to go above and beyond the task of an application developer? What else do you want from me? Charity? This is a gigantic corporation and you dare to ask me for charity? Can you promise me a better bonus? Nay. Can you promise this will help me get promoted? Nay. Can you promise me a brighter future? Nay. Then why the hell would I want to dunk my head in the water just because you ask me to? Because I should do so for the company? Lately, I figured out what I can do for the company. Maybe I can suggest to the higher ups how we can do something about you and me.

I am not sure if you know, but I am a conversationalist. I analyze conversations and remember them. Word by word. I can quote something 7 years ago and you will be scratching your head. Well, of course you don't know. You do not care. In this company, we also like to share the blame. Because we are family. Because we are colleagues. Why the expletive must I take the hit when I have completed the project according to your specifications. I even came up with suggestions on how to make it better. It should be your problem if you choose to ignore it. But, the responsibility was somehow dispersed and people who wasn't even involved with the project suddenly plays a factor. Everyone is not pro-active in providing solutions. Everyone is not working hard enough. Are you sure? We told you about the issues we found during a brainstorming session a few months back. Now, when an external consultant tells you the same thing, it becomes fact. Honestly, how disappointing can you get? Do you know why people don't tell you anything anymore? Because we gave up trying. If we complain to you, you will just blame it on the company. So easy right? You were just following orders. There is nothing you can do about it. I am sure you would like to help us right? Here is an original quote from me : He who only follows blindly, shall never lead.

Lastly, if you really want to quote, take it from here: http://en.wikiquote.org/wiki/Leadership

Cheers folks! Damn this is one of the best posts ever.