5/11/2007

Urgh....nowadays always sleep after 4am de =_=...my health will surely suffer...but i feel the best in the middle of the night...peaceful n cool...juz now went supper...including me 3 ppl onli...one of them a fren i havent really chat wif for quite sum time de...the sky was clear...the rain juz stopped not tat long ago...air was cool..the stars was visible...i guess onli i will appreciate tis kind of things...during supper i found out tat everyone iz changing...or mayb i m still too naive about the real world...now a lot of ppl r focusing on earning money...even though still studying...sum do part time jobs...a lot r interested in marketing, insurance, or investments aledi...haihz...mayb i m having an easy life tat i do not need to worry such things right now?...i dunno ler...but i dun like it...the way everyone iz changing...the days where v r carefree...izzit gone forever? no point lying in an empty field enjoying the wind by myself...wonder wat the future holds? after supper on my way back i was greeted by a swarm of bugs!! flying around the street lights was hundreds or thousands of them...as i ride through a lot of it banged into my bike n helmet...luckily none on my face..it was scary...like those horror movies...i kept looking at my side mirror to see if any of it followed me...and yeah i was alone coz i need to buy snacks at 7-11...so they went back first...n the road was veli quiet...no other vehicles...hahaha...today...hm...did sum work...i guess itz progress but not fast enuf ler...but i will do more tomolo...i think i m getting sick of playing games de...almost everyday a few rounds...if i m tired of doing work mayb i will juz lie around or take a walk or sumthing...today didnt go to the library to do work nia...juz didnt feel like it i guess...bringing my laptop up n down...furthermore i wont b spending tat much time in the library...itz boring doing work like tat...if study ok lah....need to concentrate...i like to play n work at the same time....work n study not the same hehehe....n i hav no one to discuss or chat wif anyways...no coursemates or anything...itz a fact lah...i m not being depressed bout it so no worries...everyone who goes there r studying...if i wana find ppl to chat i better sit in room n go on9...however i think itz also the same...exam season nia...how many ppl behave like me? as if not exam...hahaha...but i do wish i hav sumone i can talk to anytime...like now...4 sumthing in the morning...hm...it would b nice to chat wif a girl whole night even if using sms onli...well i can keep on dreaming cant i? n i wont accept those not s/a nia...no 'feel'..hahaha...even if itz ok wif u n yur partner, i myself dun like it...earlier actually i was asking around for ppl to eat supper de...one fella said dun wan i think...wat does 'i think no lo' mean to u?...then later he said 1am can go...i felt he was trying to readjust his tight schedule for me...i shud hav known better...or mayb he had other motives..hm...like setting me up...coz i m not tat close wif the group anymore...mayb he iz trying to get everyone together? last time during supper he juz drank teh ais i think...he got no intent of eating..he juz went bcoz sumone ask him to...so later i juz say nvr mind de...juz asking for fun...our frenship...wasnt tat strong to begin wif...i did everything i could..i was desperate to get accepted into the group...but in the end i juz hurt myself...n i know tat bonds formed in haste will oso b broken just as quickly...so i wana forget about it...let things be lah...i wont die...no one will...sumthings kenot be forced...hahaha...mayb can remain as casual frens where v share a laugh once in a while or sms a bit...a true fren? itz too late for tat....second year first sem almost finish loh...to those who find a good fren since first year first sem n still going strong now...cherish him/her...appreciate him/her...not everyone iz as lucky to hav one...oh yeah...if u feel tat sumone hav a misunderstanding of the my current situation or emotion u can give the address of tis blog if tat sumone dunno how to ask me...of course i would prefer they ask me as i can explain it more clearly...but i know i m not tat approachable sumtimes...got ppl saying tat since secondary skool...but onli give the address as a last resort...u can copy the whole thing in a word document then send nia~~ hahaha...okloh...5 am oso come liao loh...i still got lots of things to say...n i m afraid tat i will forget...but if i could think of it now...mayb i can think of it tomolo nia..bb~~