6/11/2007

Ok i wana break the habit of sleeping after 4am....now iz onli 2.30..hehehe will go sleep soon..today iz a bad day...i m kinda tired...but not sleepy...kenot concentrate on my work either...so didnt do much...if i m sleepy i could hav slept..but i dun feel sleepy...so i tried doing my work...coz the project iz due during one of my papers...havto finish earlier...didnt do much as well...one whole day waste joh...haihz..there goes my 1 day of rest i planned earlier...coz i was planning to finish the project in 5 days, do revision for 4 days while play 1 day...nvr mind lah...think of it as money saved i guess...watz the difference of watching a movie in midvalley alone n watchin the movie later through dvd??....timelength i guess...it will b long b4 they release a dvd wif good quality...argh!!! feel veli sien now...veli stressed...veli terrible...juz now chat wif a senior who graduated tis year...she talked bout memories...then i thought of a cool quote...here goes : memories are entries in a diary titled 'Life'...but as she talked more on the topic i started to feel uncomfortable...dunno why...mayb i disagree wif her point of view? Memories...to me are events in yur life tat made a mark in yur existence...it influenced u sumhow...consists of moments...a small time frame in yur life tat either makes u happy or sad in general...can b recalled through momentos...items tat happen to b around wen the memory was made...hahaha...tat definition of momento i take from an anime de...seems veli true n meaningful...mayb my own definition iz wrong...wat are memories? wat are my memories? she kept on saying bout those events tat will make u smile wen u think about it later...sure...i got a lot...but most of it end in sadness...back in primary school i got a group of frens so close we did a lot of things together...we did stupid things as well as meaningful things...we made nicknames for each other...but it all ended in a tearful farewell wen 1 from the group hav to follow his family elsewhere...then all of us went our separate ways...sum joined gangsters...sum went to other states to pursue a job as they think studying iz a waste of time...then i was left wif a new group of frens...separated wif sum after form 3...didnt really hav a reunion or anything...all hav new gangs in form 4 de...juz said hi occasionally...in form 5 separation again...those successful in studies went overseas...while sum of us stayed behind...form 6 new group nia...a lot of things happen...all of us grow up de...feelings...negative feelings r formed among all of us...jealousy, betrayal, pride...all of tis were unheard of wen v r younger...i was tired of tis lifestyle aledi loh...no true frens...so in form 6 didnt bother much wif other ppl...onli mix wif a few...then there were females...i nvr really mixed wif girls b4...even in tuition..after i find out tat they onli talk to me wen they wana copy...tat i m onli useful as an answer sheet...tat happened in form 4? forgot liao..those things i rather not remember so clearly...i can talk whole night but it iz almost 3 de loh...i better stop here...she claimed tat if i wan my life to change...to b better..i hav to change first...my way of thinking hav to change...hahaha...wat do u think?...i was nvr really in control of my life...even if i tried...i think i cannot sustain past frenships...even if i dun get a new group or forget bout old frens...i cant say tat those old frens nvr get a new group of their own...oh yeah...forgot to say tat onli 2-3 of my schoolmates stay near me...SCHOOLMATES..not classmates...i kenot yumcha wif them, i kenot play basketball wif them etc...ok loh..i better stop here...