Shoes and me

Unsurprisingly I ran out of ideas for today's post after giving it my all for the past few days. I dare say those are good articles which reflect my personality, thoughts and perhaps spur some thinking from readers as well. It is once more end of the week and weekends is about to begin. The usual routine will remain but it is just how I fill in the rest of the blanks that determines the day. For starters, I actually have some work to finish since I was being very lazy recently. It gets pretty boring when nobody is there to share the excitement when an idea comes to fruition or at least acknowledge the scope of the task. I mean it is always fun to brag or complain right? Currently, there isn't really a 'team' because all of us work independently. So nobody really knows how much everybody else have achieved. Maybe because management wanted to avoid bad blood between employees bragging and ranking themselves. We do not get much reaction from management when we finish our task at hand either so it is pretty boring.

We work because we have to not because we enjoy it. How are we supposed to come up with brilliant ideas? We cannot bring ourselves to actually commit 100 percent if we are not genuinely interested or motivated. Recently I had a drinking session with some friends and we discussed about it. Previously, even if people insulted my weight or gave me health advice I tend to ignore it. However, I became aware of the terrible state of my health when I started taking notice of how much sagging flesh that I have. Out of curiosity after watching a video on Youtube, I tried to measure how thick is my leg. I was disgusted when I found out I could adjust the measurement by using more force as the measuring tape sinks into my flesh. There is that much free space. And that was about the same time when my interest in the Korean entertainment industry began to take off. So comparing myself and idols younger than me, I feel ashamed. Sure they had more time to work out because it is part of their job. But that is not related to my circumstances or my health right?

Since then, I have never looked back. I am motivated by my own hard work, just the way I like it. Not influenced by anything, it is reflected 100 percent. I know I will definitely see results if I keep at it. The worst enemy of any objective is effort futility, when whatever you do does not matter because it is determined by luck or circumstances in the end. One of my best reminders of how far I have gone would be my shoes. I worn out one pair last year and now the second pair is going to be smooth soon. Each lap I complete, each lunge I make, each jump I take is etched on the base of my shoe. My toes are all rough now due to constant running which causes the skin to peel. There is no bleeding involved but I think there will be scars. You might ask why didn't I say the mirror to be my best reminder. Well, I think within the duration of your workout regime, there are bound to be 'plateaus' where progress pauses as your body adapts to the current level. When I first started, my body weight remained the same and nothing was really visible. But slowly and surely I kept running and build up my stamina.

Some of you might think why am I making such a big fuss over this. Well first of all I was fat and I never actually imagined I could make it all the way over here. Due to the nature of my first job, I had no time to exercise at all and was content with maintaining my weight. Secondly, I did all this by myself. Some kind people gave some advice but others mock me, laugh at me or ignored me. When I tried to share and gain some support from friends, they shun me as I kept preaching about fitness. Maybe they took it the wrong way or they find me annoying but aren't we friends? I watched a show recently and I think fans should be able to relate with the scene I will be describing. One of the characters mentioned that he wears out his shoes as he prepares for his début as a performer. He keeps each pair as a reminder of how much effort he put in. In the end, it took him 10 pairs to début and he was successful. He never gave up as time passes by, sweat pours down, he still believes his day shall come.

Certain things mean differently to people. Just because I experienced such a similar circumstance, I could relate to that scene. To other people, it is just background story that is forgettable. It is a simple fact that applies to everyone. And yet it is so hard to actually take it into consideration when dealing with people. I do try my best to be careful but sometimes jokes get out of hand and feelings were hurt. I can only sincerely apologize here because it is rare for people to actually confront another to talk and so I do not know who I offended. I will apologize personally if only I know who. But bear in mind I will not apologize for something that is not wrong. Anyway, I have confronted people over things that hurt me but usually the relationship ends just like that. Nobody thinks they are in the wrong because certain things mean differently to people. So people usually keep things in their hearts and avoid trouble. There is no right or wrong. Anyway I said enough already. Take care and enjoy Saturday!!!