Stars and me

Somehow the number of visitors almost doubled for today. Does Monday mean differently elsewhere or something? And somehow I managed to survive today even though I had to take a nap during working hours. Yes I am serious, I slept with my mouth open on my chair and god knows what poses my colleagues have taken with me as a prop. Even though it was less than 20 minutes but you have not seen them in action. I noticed that a lot of people have been falling sick lately. One of my colleagues was down and another had a bout of sore throat. I would be lying if I wasn't worried about my condition. I was having one of those stubborn headaches the whole morning. I suffered from lack of rest and sleep throughout the weekend and I know if I fall, it will be pretty severe. Well first of all, nobody is here to take care of me. I will be all alone in my room. And honestly, you cannot stress enough how important it is to have a proper bathroom with hot water at that time.

Now that most of you are aware of my current status, I would prefer to keep this post short. I really want to have at least 7 hours of sleep tonight. And being masochistic, I actually went to have a run earlier. I was close to being drained when a shooting star emerged and I gained enough momentum from that to eventually complete it. You can always count on a random pretty female to pass by whenever she is needed. Call me whatever you want but I am just being honest and fun. After all, one of the major reasons I am exercising is at least to make a good first impression to potential partners. Though it might mean nothing if I keep my long hair with my usual stone cold impression. I honestly believe that we can do greater things when we do it for another instead of for ourselves. How many of you actually bother grooming if not to impress? Anyway back to the main topic, I was left wondering how long has it been since I actually went star-gazing.

Star-gazing has a different meaning to me. I do not need a telescope to analyze their glow or positioning. I simply stare at them and let my imagination take over. I would think about my future, let dreams run wild and come up with ridiculous ideas just to have a laugh. I did it with friends and I did it alone. It means a whole lot more when I am alone but it is never as fun when you are with other people. You laugh, you share thoughts and most importantly you share this moment. Under the same starry sky we had fun. And under the same sky we chatted and we share secrets. Looking back up, brings back memories. Though I have stopped wishing that we will do it again, I have never stopped hoping someone will take your place since then. I bet all of you are cringing thinking that all this came from a dude. I am just being honest with my feelings and I think it really isn't that rare to feel this way but guys seldom admit it that is all. Come on now, you dare wish but you do not dare to admit? That is worst than me.

Since when did I stopped wishing? Since when did I stopped dreaming? Why should we ignore things like this? As working life gains more control of me, I grow more stoic and insensitive to myself. Day in and day out we become slaves to the system as we become blinded by the pursuit of money. I do not want to lose myself. I still hope. I gain motivation and inspiration from all that I see, hear and feel. I get in touch with what I really want and try to be honest. At the very least to myself. How many times have you seen a male playing it too cool to admit his real feelings? And then paying dearly for it? I really miss those idyllic days. Those simple days. The joy of simply sitting somewhere random and chatting the night away. The joy of spending time with someone important to you or someone that understands you. As I mentioned before, we cherish what we are deprived. But simply knowing how to appreciate does not make me a better friend or a better partner. I have much more to learn. Until the time comes, I cannot afford to just wait. That's it for now. Hope you gained from this as much as I do. Take care and enjoy Tuesday!!