The past and me

Just came back from badminton not long ago. It was a satisfying session except for the fact that my shoes have once again gotten slippery. Well this is not something new and I have gotten sick of always blaming the equipment for my lack of performance. I still haven't change my racquet strings after complaining for more than 6 months. My body managed to hold up nicely and I don't think it is more tiring than my normal exercise sessions. Speaking of exercise, I managed to figure out a new exercise plan for myself that incorporates all the new routines I found. On usual rest days I will be walking and stretching with minimal basic exercise like sit ups and push ups. On weekends I will be walking and also try to do those skipping exercises 3 times throughout the whole day to build up my calves. Whenever I remember I will be doing simple stretching like lifting my legs horizontally while sitting and extending my feet or simply tip-toe.

When you have a plan, you will feel excited over it and would like to try it out to see what are the results. I think I am doing good but usually people only see what they want to see. But that is good enough for me because it only motivates me more to continue with my current routine. Speaking of plans most people will think about outings or something fun to do. Okay I admit that was a weak attempt to switch the topic to what I really want to talk about. I didn't really want to touch this but seeing a post in Facebook reminded me and might as well get it off my chest. How many of you out there that frequently uses the excuse 'No money' to turn down an invitation that you are not keen on? How many of you out there actually means it when you say 'No money'? I might not sound like it but believe me I was once the latter during university. Not that I use the excuse to avoid invitations now since I have my own income already.

During my university days I live with the bare minimum. I don't even buy second hand books if I can help it. I study off Powerpoint slides. I try to skimp on even getting photocopy versions of notes. I guess it was a miracle I managed to graduate with my CGPA. My daily food allowance was around RM10-RM15 but it once dropped to strictly RM7. I was living off nasi lemak and roti canai. More towards roti canai and that is why I hate roti canai now and I once weighed 65kg. I used to think that because of my wish to become slim after my painful secondary school experience, it was granted in a horrible way. I have eaten an economy rice that was bought by a senior that tastes so bad I don't really choose my food now. Either eat it or die after starving for a day. I still hate him for that and I don't think I will ever forgive him. I still remember his face when I opened the packet and uttered my displeasure.

I know that I am not alone in this kind of lifestyle. Many people have lived off bread and cup noodles. However, my point is that people do not take 'No money' as a valid excuse back then. It actually meant I don't want to mix with the group I think. Because that is what happened at one point. People started complaining that I never joined them for anything. How can you expect a person that eats RM7 per day to actually go Jogoya and eat a meal that is worth a week? I wasn't entirely isolated but I didn't join a lot of activities organized by coursemates or hostelmates. When they started moving out to stay together at rental houses I am forced to stay in due to the cheaper rent. Soon, they have their own groups. They can go karaoke, barbecue, watch movies, drink alcohol and I will be left alone in my room reading status updates in Facebook. It was a dark period in my life.

Now, as I meet more people, they are more understanding at least. Some even patronize me by saying they have no money too. I mean come on, you people drive cars and own smartphones and all those luxury items. However, I appreciate that gesture. Who am I to actually doubt them? Might as well take it at face value, and have a good laugh together. Because it was one of the things I promised myself to never do. I will not isolate anyone that uses 'No money' as a convenient excuse. I would rather risk it being a lie than to have another one suffer the same fate I did. I don't really lose anything if I trust the people I call 'friends' in this matter I think. As a bitter gesture though, honestly, as you can see, I never did forgive those people that did it to me. But hey, we might never see or meet each other again. Now that I have stretched my heart strings, I wish to end this post by wishing you all, have a nice day tomorrow and take care!!