Today was a very tiring day. Due to the post-badminton yumcha yesterday, I only reach home around 11:45pm and thus only manage to sleep around 1:45am. This morning while rushing to work, I actually forgot about my water tumbler. It is not something I can simply ignore so I need to travel all the way back home. Best part? I forgot to take my keys from my bag at the office. Luckily the houseowner is still around. As expected, my body screams as I move around today. I honestly wonder if I should rest for tomorrow as well. I am still pretty much unsure if I am harming my body more or pushing it to grow more. Hopefully my body will recover better tonight as I try to finish everything as fast as possible and sleep early. Most of the time that will not be the case though.
Due to my lack of sleep and a bad start towards the day, I have been behaving pretty poorly with people. I seriously have no people skills and I guess I can only blame myself when I really do die alone. I tend to lash out at people over things that usually I can swallow without incident. But do note that those things still cross me the wrong way since I use the word 'swallow'. Simply put, my patience is very very limited. There is no point for me to describe the argument here because the only version you will read is mine and most of the time, it will favour me. Therefore whining is actually pretty pointless in this case but we as humans do enjoy the slight boost when other people agree with our point of view. A lot of people do not get so technical like I do and yes it is a curse I have to live with forever I think.
However, I do wish to highlight one instance in the argument that I find it being repeated over and over again. I know it will be biased but judge for yourself. I hate it when people choose to use the word 'whatever' during an argument. It simply means 'I do not care what you say, you can keep it and I am not listening'. I go into a murderous rampage when I try to explain myself, hoping to resolve this issue in the best way I could think of and the other party totally ignores everything. How obnoxious can you be? Thus why do I care so much about salvaging the situation when you are not even willing to listen and give me a chance? It becomes funny when the opposing party demands an explanation in the first place. Even if you want to stop the argument, I dare say there must be better words to use within the entire English vocabulary.
Perhaps you can call me sensitive but I guess it is an acceptable scenario because to me that word is very rude. It is like a certain four-letter word and the different perception of people towards it. Those who use it a lot simply brush it off while those who never uses it thinks it is highly offending. I guess it must be ridiculous to you that I can swear like a sailor and yet thinks badly of a 'clean' word. That is how I am because to me when you use a normal word in an argument, you clearly mean it and I will assume so as well. I dare say almost all people who use the four-letter word in an argument never takes it seriously except for an outburst of anger. Depending on the scenario, I might even take offence if people ask if I am retarded. Maybe I really am the odd one out here.
I always have a problem with people while chatting through cyberspace. Sometimes it is because I couldn't read the tone correctly and misunderstood the mood as well as the severity of what is being said. Most people simply give up being friends with someone so volatile. I admit that it is and it will be my biggest flaw in the long run. But instant messaging has become such an important part of my life, it is almost impossible to not login into MSN Messenger if available. And I will continue to scare people away. When I start to treat people more like a friend and bring up more issues, stuff like this always happen. Usually I am able to swallow my pride and chat with the person on another day to restore things back to normal. It works most of the time because the person do not want to be perceived as rude. How much longer can I last? How much longer can the people around me last? I guess I will ponder about it on my own through the night. Tomorrow will be Friday and hope you lot will enjoy it!!!
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