My legs are seriously stiff now. But badminton is awesome. I managed to try out some new stuff. Only some came out pretty well but it is enough to make things enjoyable. I can't say I totally disregard winning or losing especially when it is a close match. I tend to lose myself into the flow of things. But luckily there was no hard feelings. I can feel improvement over there. I can feel my stamina and total strength has increased since last week but as usual cosmetic change remains to be seen. Today I start wondering about the size of my butt. Seems rather big for a person of my stature. Now I am very self-conscious and I find myself glancing at the asses of other people. I am not gay. I like Korean idols. Female. And no, I do not zoom into their asses. Speaking of idols, I am now totally addicted to a song. They deserve their current 'all kill' status by ruling all Korean song charts.
As usual I have the urge to dedicate time to learn the dance steps of the song. Previously it was a part of my plans for last year. To actually learn dancing and perhaps joining those flash mobs for some fun. Hey you can't do stuff like that when you are over 30 right? So it fits right into my to-do list before I am 30. However, I cannot pursue 2 full-time projects and for now I will concentrate on my body first. Maybe I can find some time during the Chinese New Year holidays. Anyway the new song involves shuffling so it is very awesome to see the girls actually shuffle to the tune. And shuffling somehow is the 'IN' thing now. Looks easy to learn but hard to master and harder to impress people with it. Usually people view it as a cross between folk dancing and feet stomping.
Earlier during the yamcha session after badminton I managed to somehow twist the topic of conversation to people, greed, my personal philosophies and my to-do list before I am 30. Well it all started with the amount of money people earn, benefits, workplace environment and stuff. The usual things workers talk and complain about. I tried to make it thought-provoking by adding the weird things people actually work for. However, people might view me as the weird one also. And for all the health and fitness that I promote, I might die earlier than people that never cares. I guess it all comes back to what makes you happy. Just be damn sure that it is what you want and the price to pay is worthwhile. I am pretty happy that I manage to promote the to-do list concept to a friend. It doesn't need to be a very significant activity but just something you find interesting to do while you are capable physically I guess. Like eating raw eggs.
Now, about the moon, if any of you took the time to actually look at it tonight, it is actually a full moon with a very visible afterglow. You don't see that often. A lot of my thoughts, or perhaps the days when I am the most depressed or emotional involves the moon somehow. But that was back during university days. Maybe because I tend to wander around at midnight after some horrible event and I just stare at the moon thinking 'Why?'. Just feels like I can let go now. I do not need to have my guard up all the time. Somehow I miss those days. Maybe because I feel alive? A mixture of intense emotions even though it is negative. Perhaps that is why some people enjoy listening to sad ballads. Perhaps I am feeling rather empty now or I do not really feel anything now. Makes me yearn for karaoke again. Before that, I need to brush up my memorization of lyrics.
Sometimes I wonder what I truly feel about things. There are people who I cannot chat with online but interact just fine face to face. Is it because subconsciously I take a more accommodating stance in real life? Do I really hate or like people? Is my smile fake? Do I really feel that way towards a certain person? When can I feel something so real and so sure that there is no doubt? Even hatred fades with enough time and other positive events. Love also may turn sour. We can never predict circumstances and sometimes even the most perfect preparation will fail. Doesn't mean we shouldn't plan the future but I guess there is no correct answer for this. Everyone's path is different. I guess this is it for now. Take care and enjoy Thursday!!!
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