Extra long post

Today I decided to start this blog post extra early to make up for the short post yesterday. I am really sorry but some things happen unexpectedly and I am not one to say no to fun when it comes knocking on my door. But due to yesterday I am more or less exhausted today. As I expected, I cannot stand sleeping late nights anymore due to my very very strict body biological clock. It is not as adaptive as it was so many years ago. However, in the coming Chinese New Year celebrations I need to stay up for 24 hours at least 1 day which is from Eve until the morning of the first day. Well it only comes once a year and I bet it will be lots of fun too. I am more concerned about the amount of weight I will put on and thus the almost obsessive urge to exercise more. Nothing much will change within this 5 days but I guess at least I need to stick with my routine.

Yesterday I think I actually commented about me having the TV to myself and the joy of resting on the couch while channel surfing. Surprisingly, it came true today. Apparently the small innocent wishes that we make will come true. The morning was normal with me going about with my chores and not long after, I left for lunch the same time as my housemate and his brother. When I came back, as expected, his car is still missing. And so, I just switch on the TV and enjoy digesting my food thinking they might come back at any minute. As time rolls by, my guess would be that they went somewhere to hang out. I continued watching TV and instead of lazily lying down, I decided to pump my arms. As I mentioned before, part of my arms are jiggly. And so, I was sweating as I go about some random arm exercises while watching Korean drama and variety shows. Yes the house have Astro. I was very happy that I managed to laugh, sweat and do something beneficial within that time frame.

The first part of my Korean marathon involves a particular Korean drama with a very meaningful picture that is shown during the end credits. It was a piece of paper with the words 'Hope Is Nowhere'. However, the paper was torn at the 'w' and 'h'. So if you would look at it in a different way, it becomes 'Hope Is Now here'. It is a simple play on words but to me it is quite meaningful. Perhaps I over-analyse things again but to me it meant that if we just step back a distance or view things differently, we get different results. It could also mean any problem in life can be solved. Just that the difference between the 2 phrases is so powerful that I can't stop thinking about it. This would serve to be a valuable inspiration to myself when dark times come again. Or hopefully I can use it to inspire other people and help them get through their dark times.

In the Korean drama, there was also mention about a character having dementia. First of all, I didn't know that dementia can be diagnosed correctly. Second, their reactions were very severe and grim. As if they have lost the person already. Though, judging from what is portrayed in the drama, they reactions are rather accurate. Therefore, how can I avoid thinking about my own parents? Will they have the same symptoms? There is no magic cure or a very valid prevention method yet. Mahjong is just a theory though I try to play with my parents as much as possible when my brother is around too. How long do I have until they cannot recognize me anymore? How will I be able to face them then? It is a very very sad thought. How about you readers out there? Have you ever spared a thought? Will you regret not spending time with your parents if something were to happen to them later? I will.

I think this is my problem with daily stuff sometimes as I have a knack for finding a meaning for myself from mundane things. The second part of my Korean marathon involves watching a variety show crew having their year end dinner. They invited all their regular guests as well as some special performers to entertain everyone. As expected, the show hosts were very funny and I find the expressions by the attendees very believable. Well the part that actually brought some meaning to me is during the karaoke and talent contest when the special guest came in. She is one of the hottest solo idols in Korea and everyone was ecstatic. I seriously like how they recorded the reactions when her presence was revealed and also when she chose to perform with one of the show hosts. Majority of the male attendees showed a disappointed face which is exactly what I will show too. She is very young and thus I can only lament my quarter century status. I wished I was part of the dinner seriously.

The more I see and learn about what the world has to offer, what good stuff other people are experiencing, the more I become dissatisfied with what I have now. This can be called borderline greed but I just want to enjoy life with whatever limited time I have. From here, hopefully I get the strength to forge a better path for myself. You can say that all human life follows a destiny and nothing can change it but since it is not proven either, I will not lose hope. At the very least I can say proudly that I tried. I can never forgive myself if I just sat there and accept the fact that I will lead a mediocre life. Sometimes I think that I have changed a lot in these 2-3 years compared with the last 10 years. It is never too late to start living. I can simply say the first 25 years is just training for the real thing. Now is the time to start properly. Hope this will inspire other readers. Thank you for reading and enjoy Monday!!!