Nowadays I started to post lyrics of translated korean songs as notes in my Facebook account. I find them to be very powerful and once combined with the music video that accompanies the song, it becomes twice as effective. Most people will feel strange to find that I actually enjoy listening to a song where I do not understand the meaning of the lyrics directly. However, I only search for songs with a nice tune and a nice singer. Apparently many others feel the same way as I do judging by the fan base the various Korean performers have here. Contrary to popular belief, Korean singers are not only limited to simple pop songs that repeat itself multiple times over an addictive tune. One of the strongest examples are those songs used in the various Korean dramas shown here. Furthermore somehow they are masters of the human heart as even though the drama storyline is predictable and corny, you can't help but relate to the storyline or characters.
Since I couldn't remember what I wanted to write after sitting here for 10 minutes, might as well continue where I left off yesterday. Nothing much I can add actually but I just feel that once I start everything will flow out naturally. Anyway, once more I want to stress that I would prefer to say 'you go girl!' instead of constantly saying 'aww, don't be sad'. Just a personal preference and I do not mean to offend any female here. Some are very capable but they just like to be pampered by their partner. Heck I am still addicted to see how those Korean idols act cute and other guests on stage start throwing things or making fun of them. It is very fun and interesting if you were to do it for an occasion but I may not be able to satisfy your needs to be pampered constantly. Somehow I managed to twist it into a 'it is not you, it is me' situation. I annoyed someone recently with my word twisting skills and perhaps I should change before I hurt anyone for real. It seems natural to me already. Speaks volumes about the kind of environment that I grew up in I think.
I find myself thinking a lot about how my future partner would feel about me and most importantly how to make her smile always. I bet those words made you cringe. I think it is a good thing that I manage to turn what I lack in life as a source of motivation to be better. People who are already attached, generally grow complacent and be lazy to take initiative or to improve since they are 'good enough'. I always think the reason I am not attached is because I am never good enough. Therefore constantly I find ways to improve myself, to prepare myself so to speak so that anyone that is so kind to give me a chance will like what they see. Some people have strong ego and will think why should I change for another person but have you ever think about the possibility that who you are right now is actually wrong? Why else would people actually take the effort to find fault with you especially when there are a few who share the same opinion? They care about you. As an example, keeping fit and slimming down is not only good to show that you are willing to sacrifice for the sake of the relationship but also to improve your health and personal appearance. The line between ego and plain stubborn is a thin one.
Some girls are open-minded enough to actually mean it when they say they do not mind appearances. I truly appreciate your kind gesture but I also understand your friends may not share your opinion. I do not need you to constantly defend me in front of your friends. I want you to be able to brag about me, to be proud of me and to be glad to have me around instead of being a burden to you. Holy shit this sounds like a love confession already. Perhaps I just want to exceed her expectations, to surprise her and to make her happy any way I could. Furthermore, it would help if I were presentable to your parents too. Dammit I just signed my hair's death warrant didn't I? Referring to what I said yesterday, it is the same thing about the guy paying for the girl. Some females simply shove it aside as male pride or ego but sometimes it is not as simple as that. I am already not a handsome guy and I do not have a lot of income so the least that I could and I should do is to keep fit and polish my attitude. I know I still have a lot more to do but I am trying my best so far.
I am sure most of you would just think what I say is a fake cry for attention and it is too idealistic. Of course it is idealistic because what I am prepared to do matches how high my expectations of her is. Do not wish unto others what you do not wish will befall you. If I expect people to behave in a certain way, I must meet that expectation myself. Anyway, I would be lying if I said I am not interested in a relationship but I am currently not actively searching for one. I still cannot accept myself to be good enough yet. I am just making sure that if she does pops up into my life in the future, I will be capable of making her happy for the rest of her life. Like I mentioned earlier, people grow complacent once they are satisfied. A non-platonic relationship has remained elusive to me all this while and trust my words when I say I will cherish it. To all those that cannot swallow the contents of this post, just think of it as bad fiction or something a corny Korean drama male lead will say. To everyone, take care and have a nice day ahead!
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