Friday, December 23, 2011

First steps and me

And now concludes my birthday. There were no crazy parties, no pizzas, no alcohol and no cakes. There were not even friends. But this is not a sad thing to be. This is how I choose to spend my day. Furthermore I am honestly very grateful and happy to be receiving birthday wishes all day long. Kept me busy for a bit. The day is spent with my family, enjoying meals and having long discussions about the past, present and most importantly the future. What that was decided today will be used as a guideline for the year 2012. And hopefully, I am able to walk the path that I have chosen.

Among the actions taken to ensure I stay on track is sticking to my exercise routine. Yes, I went jogging on my birthday. Maybe I can add that too to my list of things that I did before 30. I am still working on the eating a raw egg challenge. First of all, I forgot that this is Ipoh. Males are expected to have short hair and buff body. When I took to the jogging track there were a lot of weird looks among the uncles and children. Perhaps I am a bit too sensitive but I never felt so uncomfortable while exercising near my rental room at KL. The nail to the coffin is when I overhead a child telling her dad to look at the 'girl' running so fast. As far as I know, there were only males within the immediate vicinity including me. The father was quick to correct her that the 'girl' is actually a 'boy'.

Well, that only brought back funny memories during university when there were more than a few instances that I was mistaken as a female. The rest of the day is rather mundane with only TV and chatting online. Well that is actually the whole point cause I came back to relax and to chill. I have no problems with my group of friends here but it is time to choose I guess. Their way of life does not resonate with me anymore. I cannot stay up until 4am to meet up and play games and supper and sleep till 2pm everyday. Not only is it dangerously unhealthy, oftentimes I have things to do on the next day too. I have always tried to modify my routine to go with them but if it is time I make a stand, what better day than now? Should I continue torturing myself for them? Perhaps not anymore.

Now I am sitting in my living room with the TV on, waiting for my brother's train to arrive while I finish this post. Most probably tomorrow the family will be running around Ipoh to shop and eat. Tomorrow will be most probably also be the day I trim my hair. As usual I will return with shoulder length hair. Thinking back, there wasn't any solid reason I choose to keep long hair. Most probably I just want to try having long hair and I wanted to build my own identity back at university. My direct senior had long hair too and maybe perhaps that gave me the bravery to try. He gave me the impression that by being capable enough and by earning enough respect, you can do anything. Like a boss. He is doing great now as a lawyer.

Majority of what I wanted to say has already been said in the post yesterday. Today is simply just a quiet and relaxing day. Guess I am acting my age now? Being a quarter century year old already. There is still much more to live but there is never anything wrong to start living as you like it whenever you can. Try thinking if the way you are living now is satisfactory and if you can do something about it? I don't think it will end pretty if you try too hard to fit in and sacrifice something else. Do something new, something kind, something special or something random. Like telling someone I like you. Things like that. That's it from me because it is about time I depart to the train station. Take care and enjoy Christmas Eve!!!

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