Thursday, February 23, 2012

Direct and me

Today's post will be emotionally charged and a bit on the short side again. Maybe I should try to talk about my day first before starting. Well, this morning I felt the full effects of skipping badminton for 2 weeks straight and then attempting to be active for around 90 minutes. Later on I had some non-personal work related issues in the office and only managed to leave around 7.30pm. So now I am very tired which may explain the gloominess and laziness. Earlier I saw a show where one of the main characters approached a girl in a very direct and polite manner asking if she would date him. It was supposed to be funny but I find him very brave and it was something I wish I did. In the very same show, one of the heroines decided to distance herself from the man she loves because she assumes the man likes another girl. Furthermore the girl has a mental condition which requires constant care that the man is willing to provide. The heroine could not bring herself to stand between the both of them.

Sadly, that was what I did previously in a similar scenario. Even now I still like to think about that incident. Somehow it was a highlight in my rather stable and mundane life thus far. It was the only real drama I experienced and perhaps involved one of the most controversial decisions I ever made. I do not feel much regret or sadness anymore now. Anyhow, being direct means to address an issue head on and I think I qualify for that description. I am quite blunt too. Nowadays I like to voice my disagreements as well as take action should I find it necessary for my own priorities. Some people actually find me hard to converse with. I cannot rely on people all the time and the problem may escalate if I do not act quickly. Therefore, I start to grow independent and to some, I have become 'heartless' as I rationalize and put myself first before others. And yet, I am willing to suffer and isolate myself for the happiness of another.

True enough, that was a stupid thing to do because they may never know how much I sacrificed or the misunderstanding may never be cleared. Lastly, they might not even live happily ever after. So was it pointless? No, because I followed what my heart was telling me to do for once. At that time, it seemed to be the only thing I should do as me, Tye King Wai. The same with the heroine in the show. No matter what everyone thinks, if you cannot bring yourself to accept or to do something, then don't do it. Because there is no guarantee it would have worked even if you did otherwise. In a question with no right or wrong answers, just do what feels the best. This is actually me being direct with the issue instead of simply going with the flow I guess. Of course in a different scenario I would be more than happy to try asking 'Would you mind going out with me?'. Then it will be me being direct with the issue of asking her out. That's all from me, take care and enjoy FRIDAY!!!

No comments: